If your son/daughter was a late bloomer socially

[Anonymous]

How did they do in college? DD is a freshman away at school this year. She made one close friend during the fall semester and gets along well with her roommate but it sounds like she spends most of her time in her room either studying or on her phone. She’s always been a bit of a late bloomer in the social sense and rarely spent time with friends in HS but we’ve been hoping being away at school will help her get out of her comfort zone but I worry she’s still very isolated.
She does have social anxiety and although I tried to get her to see a therapist when she was younger, she always refused so here we are. I also have social anxiety and was also a late bloomer but did mature a lot in college and am hoping for the same with her, but it’s so hard to see her so lonely.

[Anonymous]

It's early. Give her time.

[Anonymous]

I was that kid and I am now doing well with good friends. It just takes me a very long time to get there if I move somewhere new.

[Anonymous]

If she has one close friend and gets along with the roommate, it sounds like she's doing pretty well.

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it and it sounds like she is pretty happy this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has one close friend and gets along with the roommate, it sounds like she's doing pretty well.

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it and it sounds like she is pretty happy this way.

+1
She seems OK to me. Why are you pushing her so much?

[Anonymous]

Is she happy? If not, I would advise her on ways to meet new people. If she is happy, I would leave her alone. She is probably just an introvert and needs a lot of downtime.

[Anonymous]

Might be she is also just not an extrovert.

My kids were late bloomers, but DS is more of an introvert, so he doesn't have that many friends. DD has a core group and thrives on social interaction.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. It’s nice to hear others’ experiences. We’re not pushing her, which is why she never was treated for her anxiety when she was younger.
I don’t know for sure if she’s happy because she generally is quiet and keeps to herself, which is how she has been throughout her teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. It’s nice to hear others’ experiences. We’re not pushing her, which is why she never was treated for her anxiety when she was younger.
I don’t know for sure if she’s happy because she generally is quiet and keeps to herself, which is how she has been throughout her teens.

This was me (and still is!). I think it bothered my extrovert mom, but I'm happy. I still managed to have a good career, husband and family. I'm sure your daughter is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she has one close friend and gets along with the roommate, it sounds like she's doing pretty well.

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it and it sounds like she is pretty happy this way.

+1
She seems OK to me. Why are you pushing her so much?

Because the OP said she was lonely. Social connections are important, and it is easy to use the phone as a crutch.

OP, I would recommend that you set aside one time a week to video chat with her. Be there for her to tell you stories from her week. Update her on goings-on at home. Gently recommend that she sign up for a club or an intramural sport. Keep encouraging her and remind her that you are always there to love and support her.

[Anonymous]

Everyone doesn't have to be an extrovert, introverts are fine doing things of their liking at their own pace. Unless she has an issue with it, its not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone doesn't have to be an extrovert, introverts are fine doing things of their liking at their own pace. Unless she has an issue with it, its not an issue.

Likely that her daughter does have an issue with it -- she feels lonely. So then what?

[Anonymous]

Freshman year offers the MOST potential for friends. Everyone is new and excited to meet new people. Has your DD joined a club, either social or major related? Would she consider a part time job? Hanging around in your room doesn’t sound like fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone doesn't have to be an extrovert, introverts are fine doing things of their liking at their own pace. Unless she has an issue with it, its not an issue.

Likely that her daughter does have an issue with it -- she feels lonely. So then what?

Volunteer, date or join intramural teams etc

[Anonymous]

At this age, people want/need romantic partners.