Is there an advocate that works on behalf of the parents in MCPS?

[Anonymous]

I am so fed up with this county, my school and all the politics involved. Nobody seems concerned with putting the child's well being first, just throwing rules in my face.

My daughter has been bullied all year by a group of popular kids. She was formerly somewhat part of this group last year, albeit a bit of an outsider. She had a friend that she has known since birth that was in her inner circle for all of middle school and part of high school. This girl has now turned on her and the other friends in their group, and now with the help of a-hole boys, bully her.

I cannot and wiil not file a bullying report because I am in social circles with many of the parents of these kids. We asked for her to be switched out of a class that JUST started yesterday, because there are 3-4 people that are very mean to my daughter in the class.

They won't let us unless we file a bullying report! These are people at our place of worship, that I see at the grocery store, at sporting events that prob all think their kids would never do this. One of them is one of my good friends. For the sake of our friendship we agreed not to discuss the demise of our girls friendship. In the past when I have pointed anything out that her daughter has said or done, it gets ugly real fast. She thinks her kid is an angel.

So last week, my daughter overheard this group of kids laughing and making fun of her outside a classroom where she was taking a makeup test. She heard the whole thing, her name was used, they pointed inside the classroom. So there is no mistaking who they were talking about.

When she found out that several of these kids were in one of her classes this semester, she got upset and wants to be switched out. So now the counselor won't switch her, referred us to the AP who has a major attitude problem and was very detrimental in another situation last year. The AP told us she will do absolutely nothing unless we file a bullying report.

So yesterday I called the Superintendent. I might add that his secretary is wonderful and kind. She listened to the whole detailed story, was completely sympathetic, but told me we need to speak to our principal first.

Currently waiting for meeting with principal. On the back end, I'd like to line up help. I know in Elementary School there was some kind of county level advocate. So I'm wondering if that exists on the high school level?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

I agree with the school - file a bullying report or they won’t move her.

[Anonymous]

So sorry this is happening to your DD.

This seems odd to me. The new semester started weeks ago, no? Did you ask right away, after the 1st day or two? Our counselor/HS are pretty accommodating about schedule changes but usually that happens in the first week of a new semester (tends to be a lot of changes that first week). . I can see the reluctance in switching mid semester (more work for the teachers, no?)

Could you speak to the teacher of said class, explain the situation and make sure they are seated far apart? (Probably cc the counselor) or ask the counselor to do so?

Do you have any idea why this is happening with this group, or what triggered this?? Did something specific happen? It seems like really immature behavior for high school aged kids TBH.

[Anonymous]

Insane that you won't suffer social consequences on your own to protect your child. File the damn report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry this is happening to your DD.

This seems odd to me. The new semester started weeks ago, no? Did you ask right away, after the 1st day or two? Our counselor/HS are pretty accommodating about schedule changes but usually that happens in the first week of a new semester (tends to be a lot of changes that first week). . I can see the reluctance in switching mid semester (more work for the teachers, no?)

Could you speak to the teacher of said class, explain the situation and make sure they are seated far apart? (Probably cc the counselor) or ask the counselor to do so?

Do you have any idea why this is happening with this group, or what triggered this?? Did something specific happen? It seems like really immature behavior for high school aged kids TBH.

I’m sorry, I see the class just started yesterday

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused. How on earth are you friends with people whose kids are bullying yours?! Seriously?? This happened to my DS in middle school and I quietly distanced myself from those “friends”. No drama, didn’t say anything about it, but couldn’t really stand to be around them beyond polite niceties when necessary. How can you even stand it?

[Anonymous]

File the bullying report if you have to. Your relationship with your daughter is more important than your relationship with these so-called friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. How on earth are you friends with people whose kids are bullying yours?! Seriously?? This happened to my DS in middle school and I quietly distanced myself from those “friends”. No drama, didn’t say anything about it, but couldn’t really stand to be around them beyond polite niceties when necessary. How can you even stand it?

+100!
Put your daughter first!!
Drop these people--they are NOT your friends.
Repeat.
Prioritize your daughter.

"I cannot and wiil not file a bullying report because I am in social circles with many of the parents of these kids."

"They won't let us unless we file a bullying report! These are people at our place of worship, that I see at the grocery store, at sporting events that prob all think their kids would never do this. One of them is one of my good friends. For the sake of our friendship we agreed not to discuss the demise of our girls friendship. In the past when I have pointed anything out that her daughter has said or done, it gets ugly real fast. She thinks her kid is an angel."

Re-read this OP. Please help your DD.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is going to tell you to file a bullying report. Even an advocate. The fact that you will not is entirely your own problem, not theirs. They have told you what you need to do and you won't do it. Why are you trying to protect your "friendship" and "social circle" with these adults?

[Anonymous]

Seems weird that the class just started yesterday. If she can’t switch, can she drop? (Depends what the class is, I realize)

I have to tell you that, bullying report or not, the school is almost certainly not going to do anything helpful here. There isn’t really anything actionable on their end. Odds are the bullying report might make things worse.

She either needs to ignore these kids with head held high (they will likely tire of it), or switch schools, most likely.

Any idea what prompted the falling out?

[Anonymous]

Most of these parents are not my friends but we travel in similar social circles. The one "friend" I am referring to, I have been distancing myself from since this incident took place.

When you file a bullying report is the kid called down to the office? Are the parents notified? Does it go on their permanent record and/or college transcript in some way?

If I could file a report where the school knew just to keep DD separate from a list of kids that's one thing. But if the kids are going to be told and reprimanded we all know what will happen behind the scenes and on social media. Things will get exponentially worse.

[Anonymous]

She can't drop the class it's required for graduation. There is an opening in the same period with another teacher, I"m not understanding why it's this huge ordeal just to quietly put her in the other class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems weird that the class just started yesterday. If she can’t switch, can she drop? (Depends what the class is, I realize)

I have to tell you that, bullying report or not, the school is almost certainly not going to do anything helpful here. There isn’t really anything actionable on their end. Odds are the bullying report might make things worse.

The new semester started yesterday. And yes, worried about things getting worse. ^^this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can't drop the class it's required for graduation. There is an opening in the same period with another teacher, I"m not understanding why it's this huge ordeal just to quietly put her in the other class.

This seems very rigid at the high school level. What is the rationale? Are switches like this ever allowed for others (to your knowledge)?

Why did the class just start yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is going to tell you to file a bullying report. Even an advocate. The fact that you will not is entirely your own problem, not theirs. They have told you what you need to do and you won't do it. Why are you trying to protect your "friendship" and "social circle" with these adults?

+1