High paying careers for academic kids with poor social skills

[Anonymous]

Offshoot of the other thread. DS is academically smart but has inattentive ADHD and poor social skills. He will be in a technical career but most technical roles also have a ton of organization politics and need the ability to build relationships with key leaders. What are the jobs for such kids.

[Anonymous]

He just needs to stay low to mid level, so he can avoid politics, interactions, etc

Actuary
Data analyst/ data science
Software engineer

[Anonymous]

This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

[Anonymous]

OP what does he like to do? Is he creative at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He just needs to stay low to mid level, so he can avoid politics, interactions, etc

Actuary
Data analyst/ data science
Software engineer

I know a kid like yours, OP. I think he plans to become a software engineer.

Look at Elon Musk. Has zero personality and is very rich. Mark Zuckerberg is another example. Hopefully, with your guidance, your child will not be like them (racist, sexist, and whatnot).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He just needs to stay low to mid level, so he can avoid politics, interactions, etc

Actuary
Data analyst/ data science
Software engineer

This!
I am like your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

Lol? Really, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

Lol? Really, PP?

Yes. You’re trying to hijack a response that includes some very good advice for 95% of kids in this situation - which is that the family needs to put some muscle into dealing with their kid before they send him out into the world, where this kind of personality oftentimes has disastrous results. Especially when the expectation/hope is that the child will be high earning and professionally successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

Lol? Really, PP?

Yes. You’re trying to hijack a response that includes some very good advice for 95% of kids in this situation - which is that the family needs to put some muscle into dealing with their kid before they send him out into the world, where this kind of personality oftentimes has disastrous results. Especially when the expectation/hope is that the child will be high earning and professionally successful.

+1000

Lots of entitlement and narcissism among booksmart but low EQ young adults. Resentment that they aren't earning $200k/year by age 30, which everyone told them that they'd end up doing because "ooooo Larla is so smart!"

OP, inattentive ADHD is simply NOT an excuse for your kid to have poor social skills. If your kid had something like HFA then I'd understand, but inattentive ADHD is NOT a death sentence for low EQ. Make sure your kid gets medication, executive functioning coaching, and arguably most important, a few years playing a team sport (no cross country or tennis!) and a job waiting tables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

Lol? Really, PP?

Yes. You’re trying to hijack a response that includes some very good advice for 95% of kids in this situation - which is that the family needs to put some muscle into dealing with their kid before they send him out into the world, where this kind of personality oftentimes has disastrous results. Especially when the expectation/hope is that the child will be high earning and professionally successful.

+1000

Lots of entitlement and narcissism among booksmart but low EQ young adults. Resentment that they aren't earning $200k/year by age 30, which everyone told them that they'd end up doing because "ooooo Larla is so smart!"

OP, inattentive ADHD is simply NOT an excuse for your kid to have poor social skills. If your kid had something like HFA then I'd understand, but inattentive ADHD is NOT a death sentence for low EQ. Make sure your kid gets medication, executive functioning coaching, and arguably most important, a few years playing a team sport (no cross country or tennis!) and a job waiting tables.

1. There is a culture of smoking/vaping amongst sit-down restaurant staff. Not a good place for ADHD teens.

2. Playing a team sport does not magically give your socially clueless kid better social skills. They are not picking up the subtle cues any more or less than at school, with friends, etc. They often need direct, explicit social skills instruction.

3. This discussion is not necessarily talking about the very smart kids. Just the random above average kids who like school and makes As and Bs.

[Anonymous]

HFA could very well be in the mix. My inattentive, asocial, ADHD/HFA kid is majoring in international affairs, with a concentration in security policy. He would be an ideal analyst working in an security organization, government agency or think tank, talking with other experts about global or domestic security threats, cyber or actual terrorism, etc.

My husband also has an inattentive, asocial ADHD/HFA profile and has a PhD in bioinformatics. He’s worked in cancer research for many years analyzing large data sets on supercomputers.

The lesson I’ve learned from these two is that they absolutely need to work in topics they’re passionate about. They cannot function in any other sphere. The job will pay what it pays. Maybe you can steer them when they’re young to influence their topics of interest.

I entirely agree that such kids need to be pushed to excel and their weaknesses bolstered as much as possible so that their achievements help counterbalance their poor social skills. At a certain level of functioning and expertise, you’re seen as «quirky » and people will accommodate you somewhat to access what you have to offer. Below that, you’re just seen as plain weird and no one will want to work with you. It takes a lot of work to develop just enough awareness in that individual so they package themselves this side of crazy.

Sorry to be blunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst combo, IMO.

I’d focus on getting him social skill help. That means you’re going to have to do what you don’t want to do, which is kill the electronics at home and really take the time to work on this. Whatever age he is, he’s too young for you to just give up on this part of him.

DP here. My son is an 18-year-old college student with HFA, and we had very strict "electronics at home" rules. He had hours and hours and hours of social skill help while he was growing up. We did not "give up on this part of him," but the reality is that he will always have relatively poor social skills compared to his neurotypical peers.

So I'm in the same boat, OP. I'm not sure where he will end up. Right now, he is majoring in Biology, which doesn't seem like it will lead to a good career. However, he loves learning about animals and nature. Maybe he will be able to do some some of field work? Except he hates bad weather. Ha! He is above average academically, but not talented enough for a CS or math/actuary degree -- he is missing the ability to see things logically, I think. I tried to steer him into Accounting, but he says is it boring.

Lol. I assume OP would have divulged it in the OP if her child were dealing with HFA. She didn't.

Lol? Really, PP?

Yes. You’re trying to hijack a response that includes some very good advice for 95% of kids in this situation - which is that the family needs to put some muscle into dealing with their kid before they send him out into the world, where this kind of personality oftentimes has disastrous results. Especially when the expectation/hope is that the child will be high earning and professionally successful.

+1000

Lots of entitlement and narcissism among booksmart but low EQ young adults. Resentment that they aren't earning $200k/year by age 30, which everyone told them that they'd end up doing because "ooooo Larla is so smart!"

OP, inattentive ADHD is simply NOT an excuse for your kid to have poor social skills. If your kid had something like HFA then I'd understand, but inattentive ADHD is NOT a death sentence for low EQ. Make sure your kid gets medication, executive functioning coaching, and arguably most important, a few years playing a team sport (no cross country or tennis!) and a job waiting tables.

That’s just plain wrong on all levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HFA could very well be in the mix. My inattentive, asocial, ADHD/HFA kid is majoring in international affairs, with a concentration in security policy. He would be an ideal analyst working in an security organization, government agency or think tank, talking with other experts about global or domestic security threats, cyber or actual terrorism, etc.

My husband also has an inattentive, asocial ADHD/HFA profile and has a PhD in bioinformatics. He’s worked in cancer research for many years analyzing large data sets on supercomputers.

The lesson I’ve learned from these two is that they absolutely need to work in topics they’re passionate about. They cannot function in any other sphere. The job will pay what it pays. Maybe you can steer them when they’re young to influence their topics of interest.

I entirely agree that such kids need to be pushed to excel and their weaknesses bolstered as much as possible so that their achievements help counterbalance their poor social skills. At a certain level of functioning and expertise, you’re seen as «quirky » and people will accommodate you somewhat to access what you have to offer. Below that, you’re just seen as plain weird and no one will want to work with you. It takes a lot of work to develop just enough awareness in that individual so they package themselves this side of crazy.

Sorry to be blunt.

Agree! My son, who has inattentive ADHD and struggles socially is exponentially better in situations where strangers share his interest or in activities that he enjoys. We are working in social skills and also basic manners - eye contact, practicing small talk with adults, etc. I am hoping if we hammer basic manners home + he works in a field he is interested in, he will find his way. I will say, we do have to talk about school tracks in context of the ultimate goal.z for example if he wants be a marine biologist, he needs science but also has to work on math so he can figure out depths, etc. Or if he wants to be a guide, how it helps to have a foundation in business and understand a business plan or math for accounting.

I myself am not socially savvy, though more skilled than my son. There are definitely avenues and areas for people to take at all levels of intellectual ability. Obviously not heavily networked positions like lobbyists or consultants. And often being self-employed or an entrepreneur can be a good fit.