Don’t like the coach but school is a good fit
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Anonymous
| DS is in 7th at a k-8 now so will be applying next fall for HS and have started trying to feel our different schools. We’ve had some interactions with coaches at a couple of these schools and, at one in particular, we got a bad vibe. DS is a good athlete and wants to play his primary sport in HS, but is probably not a kid who will play in college. Should we take the school (which otherwise seems like a great fit) off the list because of a not so great interaction with the relatively new varsity coach? Obviously we are going to try to connect with some families who know the coach better, but curious if anyone been in this position before. |
Anonymous
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Coach’s come and go. And those who are generally disliked by the kids have short tenures.
The schools want athletics to be a positive experience and to draw applicants. And the have the flexibility to get rid of problems. |
Anonymous
| OP here--to clarify: the interaction with the coach was not great because the coach didn't seem to have any interest in engaging with our DS. He wasn't able to hold a basic conversation (eg what team do you play for, what position do you play, etc), which we found a bit alarming for someone who works with kids. I'm okay with the reality that my kid is not someone this coach is interested in recruiting, but I would expect an adult coach at an open house to be able to interact with kids on a basic level regardless of whether the kid was a potential recruit. His inability to do so has me really questioning the school's judgment because this guy is also a teacher. |
Anonymous
| What are you expecting for a varsity coach conversation with a sporty 7th grader? |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t take an otherwise good fit school off the list because a coach/teacher wasn’t very engaging in a single conversation at an open house. |
Anonymous
At this stage I'm not expecting a whole lot, but eye contact and a basic level of conversation like "where do you play" would be a good start. Or even just tell us about the program at the school. This guy talked about himself--not the program at the school--and asked DS no questions. DS asked if they ever did workouts with kids who are looking at the school and he said yes but then gave no indication of when that might happen or how we might find out about that which was weird. Everyone else at this event was either in 7th or 8th grade as best I could tell. |
Anonymous
+1 Your weighting of this seems wildly off in the calculation of what high school to attend. Did you go on a lot of first dates and then ghost guys for not behaving exactly as you imagined they should? |
Anonymous
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If your kid is not going to play in college, then don’t cross an otherwise great school off because of a bad coach.
First, kids interests change. Never thought my formerly basketball crazy child would drop it so he could condition for crew. Second, academics have a much stronger impact on your child’s life and the college choice menu he’ll have. Unless your son is clearly a D1 athlete, academics over athletics all the way. Also, some coaches are bad with interpersonal skills but are still good coaches. If you mention the school by name, people could provide more insights. |
Anonymous
I feel like you’re looking for problems. At least way over-valuing this singular interaction. Obviously keep the school in the mix. DS will shadow, talk with friends, current athletes, go to a couple games, etc. Then decide. |
Anonymous
^^^^ |
Anonymous
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Is it possible that the sport is really competitive at the school and the coach feels like if your child were recruitable, he would already know them? And the team is almost always filled by recruits? I'm just thinking about some of the WCAC schools and boys basketball.
If not, like a PP said, coaches come and go. My daughter wanted to choose a school based on a coach and the coach ended up retiring the summer before she would have started. |
Anonymous
+1. I was thinking your kid went to camp run by this coach or something. A 2 minute verbal interaction unless it was like wildly racist is not even a reason to reject a coach much less a school. |
Anonymous
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What a relief. I was expecting a sexual predator sort of bad vibe!
You seem to have an inflated idea of the importance of your kid and his sport in everyone's lives, OP. Apply to this school. |
Anonymous
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You will encounter good teachers and meh teachers, good coaches and meh coaches at every single school. It's unavoidable. More importantly, kids need to develop skills to navigate getting through a class or a job with people who aren't pulling their weight or aren't the best communicators.
If the school is otherwise a good fit, keep it on the list. That's truly a difficult thing to find. |
Anonymous
Very helpful, thank you. |