Chauvinist / misogynistic / racist comments

[Anonymous]

Looking for assertive ways to respond to chauvinist / misogynistic, classist, and racist remarks. The types of remarks that someone might not see as blatant but is more so the covert type. My goal is to stand up for values of equality and equity while also being heard (I know you can’t control that but still). While some people may never change their prejudices, I do believe that many people have never been checked or invited to reflect on their biases. I want to practice some effective replies so I am quick in the moment and ready to tackle these issues head on. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and can’t find the words. Calling on the hive mind, in hopes that it helps me and many others.

[Anonymous]

Bump

[Anonymous]

What exactly do you mean by that?

[Anonymous]

Who is this person to you? A coworker? Neighbor? Partner?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is this person to you? A coworker? Neighbor? Partner?

And what are they saying? Specifics matter.

[Anonymous]

Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?

[Anonymous]

WTF did you just say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?

You're unlikely to change any of these people and that's especially true if you challenge them in front of large groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.

Classist: Not everyone has access to that. Not everyone can afford that. Not everyone had parents able to expose them to that growing up. Actually, my friend is from there, and she's the most ethical person I know.
Racist: Damn, that's a really racist thing to say. Are you okay?!
Chauvinist / misogynistic: wow, is that really how you feel about women? This completely changes my opinion of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?

So change to the other team. Calling these people out will definitely hurt your daughter socially so just move her now before you run your mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.

Classist: Not everyone has access to that. Not everyone can afford that. Not everyone had parents able to expose them to that growing up. Actually, my friend is from there, and she's the most ethical person I know.
Racist: Damn, that's a really racist thing to say. Are you okay?!
Chauvinist / misogynistic: wow, is that really how you feel about women? This completely changes my opinion of you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?

That is shocking. I put my daughter on the bus to the projects to play soccer with a ball made of trash. I suggest you do the same or STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thinking about neighbors and extended family.

Grow up. People thankfully can have their opinions though you may not like it, and want control.
I'm betting you would like one party and would change our voting rights. If people aren't breaking laws in hiring, housing etc. you don't get to be the police on thought and speech!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things like explicit references to women, and all the men laugh. Or coded messages about people in “the other neighborhoods” implying lack of morals due to lack of wealth. For example, a parent on my child’s sport team mentioned how she was happy the team was comprised of girls “within our neighborhood where we all raise our kids the same way.” I was shocked and am replaying the scene in my head. For a start, I could have said: What do you mean by that?

Maybe you have too many people in your neighborhood who aren't raising their kids correctly? Try to think outside the box. Not a big deal. Ask yourself why you are looking for ways to be offended....maybe get a few more hobbies?