Selfish not do sports if it doesn't work for your family?

[Anonymous]

My kids do want to do sports. But I am a single parent. I have a co parent who has never helped with sports (payment or attendance). He is helpful in other ways (takes them every weekend and some weeknights) so I don't want to push it anymore with them. I cannot afford sports anymore.

Doing swim lessons with the city every summer is doable for me. Anything else seems to stretch me too thin. Did anyone else only do swim lessons? My kids love swimming, and we have a pool at our apartment, so it seems like the best way to go. Maybe if they enjoy swimming they can be on a team when they are older and I'll hopefully have more money for it.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Meant "is it selfish not to do sports?" In title.

[Anonymous]

You do what you can! Swimming is an amazing source of physical activity and learning to swim is one of the most vital skills. When they get older there may be more opportunities through school (ie middle school after school
sports and they can take the bus home). Take each stage and do your best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do what you can! Swimming is an amazing source of physical activity and learning to swim is one of the most vital skills. When they get older there may be more opportunities through school (ie middle school after school
sports and they can take the bus home). Take each stage and do your best.

Yep, there will be more opportunities for activities in general (not just swimming) as they get older through school. And if you live somewhere where they can walk or bike to some activities as they get older, that will help, too.

[Anonymous]

This is between you and your kids. If they beg you to do a sport and you tell them "not doable" then what?

[Anonymous]

Depends on what you mean by not working for your family and whether kids have other opportunities to play the sports other than swimming. Makes a lot more sense to refuse travel when rec is available, but not to refuse rec when nothing else is available. This is assuming that you can afford it, even if it would be a little tight, and you can do the logistics (even if they are annoying). This is just my opinion though, you should do what feels right to you even if others would do something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Meant "is it selfish not to do sports?" In title.

Not if you can’t afford it. However most sports have scholarship if it’s really important to the kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused, you have 50-50 and dad has the kids a lot. Talk to him. Are you getting child support? If yes, some of that money is dad's portion as he also has a lot of expenses and the same as you in his home.

Doing some lessons will not lead to team as most kids start team between 5-7. Team is 3-7 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Our town has a basketball court that kids play pickup all year. My kid learned to play there and got hours of exercise and had a lot of fun too. Pickup basketball exists everywhere.
I’m sure some towns have pickup soccer in the parks.
They could bike or mountain bike for free, after the cost of the bike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused, you have 50-50 and dad has the kids a lot. Talk to him. Are you getting child support? If yes, some of that money is dad's portion as he also has a lot of expenses and the same as you in his home.

Doing some lessons will not lead to team as most kids start team between 5-7. Team is 3-7 days a week.

What?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you dont' want them to do sports because you're selfish, but because you can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

There is aid available for soccer if you want to look into it. But you’re fine skipping.

[Anonymous]

OP, not a popular opinion, but I would say do what you can RIGHT NOW. Live in the moment. Maybe in the future you'll have a situation in which your kids will be able to participate in a variety of things that you just don't have the bandwidth for right this minute. Swimming is great. it's important for safety reasons. Talk honestly with your kids about the facts.

Do not shame yourself for what you cannot do. Stretching yourself too thin doesn't make any sense. Try to be sure your kids get regular exercise in the ways you can handle. Pick-up sports, learning to ride a bike, walking places together, etc.

Can you allow your kids to do physically active stuff on your own property? Trampoline, bike, indoor swing, etc.... There's plenty to do! Have fun and enjoy your kids childhood!!! Be honest and let them vent their feelings about your limitations!

Enjoying the time you have together is way more important than keeping up when you just can't do something.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they stay in shape at least—walks, playground, hike, bike.

In middle school they can join cross country and track—minimal cost for you and practice at school.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

<8 yo organized sports - you’re not missing much. Other than the swim lessons, I wouldn’t sweat it.

Once they’re 8 or so, if it’s something they’re interested in, I’d look for ways to give them opportunities to play. Nothing crazy - just things through after school programs their school or aftercare might host (our aftercare had a basketball program with no extra cost), city rec programs, or camps with sports if you need camps for childcare in the summer anyway. My kids have gotten a lot from their sports teams - socially, physically, and in “life lessons” sort of way. They’re are plenty of other ways to check those boxes in life, so I’m not at all saying the youth sports are something to make huge sacrifices for in life, but especially if your kids are eager, I would look for easy opportunities for them to dabble as they get older.