Sorry but this American college admissions "rat race" is stupid ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

These are wide spread issues. Your kid is not one of them doesn't mean they are not common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sucks except if you win. Then it’s great. There is nothing globally that is like the education, connections and level of services of all kinds available at the tippy-top of American higher education.

There is no winning. "If you win, you're still a rat." Participating and performing for the rat race teaches our kids that this is the only way to be successful. They will take that mentality to college, their first job, their first relationship, they will seek out careers/jobs that are prestigious and pay money, they'll seek out partners with status who measure their worth that way to and inculcate their children simlarly, they'll learn to value things for their prestige, not fit. They'll measure their own worth, their life and themselves as ranked.

Mic drop. Hard words to hear but very true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so much jealously and generalization on this thread. To many of you, if a kid is at an ivy or other top school, you automatically label them as a "rat" and imply they have "mental health problems" and only care about "prestige" and are somehow overly competitive with their peers and unkind?

Do you even hear yourselves?

You all sound really pathetic and really jealous. Stop comparing yourself to others and live your best life. That's what my ivy kid is doing. She doesn't fit any of the descriptors above that you all are listing. Sorry to burst your little story.... but there are plenty of fully well adjusted happy, kind, non competitive kids at ivies who are doing good for this world and for you. Stop trying to tear them down - it really makes you look bad.

Totally agree with you. I have a well adjusted, doesn’t fit any of these descriptors son at an Ivy who is happy and thriving. Not defensive or taking it personally but just reminder there are many happy kids achieving a lot and doing well despite how all you think & feel!

[Anonymous]

It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

[Anonymous]

It always seems to be like the nice normal well adjusted kids go to the state flagships and less competitive privates whereas the weirdos go to the elites and ivies.

[Anonymous]

People who are stressing themselves suffer from envy. That is its own sweet punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

+100

[Anonymous]

This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

+1 pure comedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the world we live in. Youth sports. Colleges. NIL money. Celebrity. It’s all about your Gucci bag and your bail condo. Better to not play and live a more authentic life. Your kid will be better off for it.

Is your "bail condo" where you stay when you have enough money to post bond to get out of jail but not enough to go home? For white collar criminals, I presume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

Is it possible you are feeling defensive, and can't be receptive to the wisdom that's on this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a misguided thread.

Sour grapes anyone?

+1 pure comedy.

It's clarity actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100 years ago, 50 years ago, ivies are expensive, even MC may not be able to afford it. And ivies mostly get their students from boarding schools and private schools. So yeah at that time it’s reserved to rich privileged families.

If we go back to those times, restrict the seats from the commons, there would never be a rat race. I mean, it only becomes a rat race when the commons think they are attainable to them.

Transparency matters. They should be honest about the students and families they want instead of misleading people into thinking everyone has a fair shot. It’s obvious that isn’t true, so why lie?

It is fair, it just might not meet your definition of 'fairness'. They are very transparent in that they do not care solely about academics but rather ensuring that the vast majority cross a very high bar. They lower that bar a bit for people who fit institutional priorities but keep it high enough to be comfortable that everyone admitted will succeed. They want people from across the US and across the globe and they also want to ensure that socioeconomic conditions are not a barrier to admissions.

Using that criteria the number of applications that they receive from a group of mostly similar candidates far exceeds the spots at their schools which results in a situation where most people never know why they were admitted or denied. This also means that there is randomness and a bit of luck involved. It is frustrating but it isn't unfair.

I would not call the holistic review "very transparent". Does companies hire employees by holistic review? Does any company hire a quant trader by checking his violin skills?
1. Despite the prestige, these elite institutions do not guarantee better financial or career success after graduation.
2. If international students are included in the target student pool, these institutions should not receive tax sponsorship or tax-exempt status, since American students are not given higher priority.

A company hires employees based on their skills, and that includes how they work with others and how they communicate, etc. But if you can discuss during an interview things that show you are more than a robot (ie play the violin or teach music to kids at the local Y) you might land the job over someone who cannot make eye contact and cannot communicate but is wickedly smart. Because yes the holistic person matters in the real world as well.

There is a good chance your boss (and their boss) did not attend an elite school, yet they are managing you and getting paid more than others who did attend an elite school.

What you’re saying ultimately leads to the conclusion that there’s no real need to compete for elite or Ivy League schools. Plenty of influencers with strong looks and social skills are eager to sell products online without any elite credentials.

Your example about your boss actually proves that chasing elite schools is unnecessary.
Soft skills are not exclusive to elite private institutions—they’re available and trainable everywhere. Even someone working at KFC needs to maintain eye contact and communicate well. The assumption that intelligent people are all shy or socially awkward is simply absurd.

[Anonymous]

This thread reminds me of the time I had to coach my son and a bunch of other first graders on a soccer team. We had to give each kid a customized trophy at the end of the season. It was so painful having to come up with something. I think went as deep as “best shin pads”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me of the time I had to coach my son and a bunch of other first graders on a soccer team. We had to give each kid a customized trophy at the end of the season. It was so painful having to come up with something. I think went as deep as “best shin pads”.

That sounds so weird. How about playing for the sake of exercise and socializing alone and not for trophies at all??