Are you paying or contributing to your kids weddings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

no it is something most people think about. I give differently if attending a wedding that costs $300/person versus $100/person.

That's ridiculous. You are not being invited to reimburse the hosts.

Has this become the expectation? The last few weddings we have been invited to had things on the registry specific to the wedding, plus the honeymoon flight, AirBnB, dinners, etc. The registry was like a Sign-Up Genius of sorts with a number of slots available at specified payment amounts to pay for each item. I think we even saw an ask for money towards a house down payment and another couple, who already have a house, asked for money to go towards landscaping.

We held the wedding we could afford and didn’t go on a honeymoon because we couldn’t afford it.

I think the honeyfund is kind of cute, and I could get on board with a couple asking for money toward a down payment, but this list has made me think that I need to decide where the line is for me, mentally. Because paying for things toward the wedding itself or landscaping are hilarious/horrifying, and I'm having a hard time articulating why they're worse/different than paying toward the honeymoon or house.

Let's bring back just giving people cash/checks at the reception and not knowing or caring where they spend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

You are tacky as hell.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trouble is around 25-35 years ago when my Male friend group was getting married the Dad paying for the wedding was was the best investment there ever was. Even if blue collars, HS educated lived in a tiny cape and drove a pick up truck and dug ditches for a living paying for a nice wedding was his dream.

Why Girls married UP. Meaning overnight propelled the daughter up ther economic ladder. It also ment with a high income husband their daughter could be a SAHM if she chooses and see grandkids, Dad and Mom have something to be proud of.

Women with a HS degree married college educated, Women with a MBA married a lawyer, heck a women I worked with was a junior Big 4 Partner at KPMG she married a Senior Partner at PwC.

And the grandaughers did hte same. My wife is beautiful. Both her parents had an 8th grade education, lived in a 1,200 sf cape. Dad did chip in on wedding. Not a great Dad but he knew to do that. Now my wife lives on a block of 2 million dollars homes is a multimillion, has very successful children college all paid for. He moved his daughter ahead three generations of wealth in one day. His other daughter ran off and married a guy at 20 and lives in a poor area, his son got caught up with a trampy hot to trot mama lives in a shoe box. But he planned .

My wife is from a very very blue collar town, no parent went to college. Most did not even graduate HS. Of her HS friend circle of pretty girls she is actually not that well off. All her friends are very wealthy. I mean they live in mansions and have boats, vacations homes, kids went expensive colleges. But all have one thing in common they paid for nice fancy weddings if daughter found right guy. MY FIL only chipped in much on my wedding. The other two kids he thought was a waste of money

Maybe that happens in flyover country or rural areas in the South, but not my experience or that of my friends. I got married 35 years ago and my DH and I have similar educations (I have an MBA, he has a masters). I have outearned him by a factor of 4-5x, but he has had high profile but less lucrative jobs (e.g., government). I can't think of any friends, male or female, who married someone who was not a peer in terms of education and/or work. And I can't think of any where the parents of the bride were paying for lavish weddings just to marry their daughter up a rung or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

A wedding is a celebration, not a financial transaction.

aren't you naive. My one GF I almost married in 1991 was into Big Italian over the top weddings. Her Dad was going to pay whole thing. We would of had around 400 people and Dad would have spent maybe $80,000 in 1991. I went to two of her cousins weddings and I know they cleared around $120,000 to $200,00. They also had engagement parties in catering halls with around 200-250 people. Mostly gifts but many another $20,000.

Her family was really generous. I know her Dad gave $5,000 at all the weddings of his nieces and nephews. So all her Uncles and Aunts would be giving $5,000.

We were going to use the money for our house. I was making 39K and she was making a bit more 40K back then not like we could do it on our own.

Thats 1991 money. I know today in 2026 an average nice wedding for a blue collar family on Long Island can run $80,000 all in. I am sure my 1991 wedding I never has would be $250,000 today. I went to a blue collar wedding on Long Island a few weeks ago and my wife and I gave $1,000 and it was just a old neighbor. Nice girl and she was paying most herself and she was just a 25 year old pre school teacher. I know every wedding gets a few dead beats I dont want to be one of them. Expect a 25 year old girl with a blue collar Dad to buy your a a $300 dinner and you write a check for $100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

But you are not a 25 year girl spending every cent she owns on a wedding inviting Millionaires who screw over the bride by being cheap. I throw big bashes now I dont want anything. But when I was married without a pot to pee in throwing a wedding where I rolled every last penny I had to make it nice for my guests I have no love for Millionaires pulling up in Mercedes handing out $75 checks. Stay home. My poor widowed aunts I appreicate even a $5 dollar check. But not you rich folk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

But you are not a 25 year girl spending every cent she owns on a wedding inviting Millionaires who screw over the bride by being cheap. I throw big bashes now I dont want anything. But when I was married without a pot to pee in throwing a wedding where I rolled every last penny I had to make it nice for my guests I have no love for Millionaires pulling up in Mercedes handing out $75 checks. Stay home. My poor widowed aunts I appreicate even a $5 dollar check. But not you rich folk.

DP
Choices. She doesn’t have to depend every cent on a wedding. Nobody has to spent every penny to make it nice for guests when they themselves don’t have the budget to do so.

We didn’t have an expensive wedding because we couldn’t afford it. I would have never expected others to help cover the costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

But you are not a 25 year girl spending every cent she owns on a wedding inviting Millionaires who screw over the bride by being cheap. I throw big bashes now I dont want anything. But when I was married without a pot to pee in throwing a wedding where I rolled every last penny I had to make it nice for my guests I have no love for Millionaires pulling up in Mercedes handing out $75 checks. Stay home. My poor widowed aunts I appreicate even a $5 dollar check. But not you rich folk.

Most nice weddings also aren't thrown by a 25 year old girl spending every cent she owns on a wedding. Somehow she knows tons of millionaires, but comes from poverty?

You aren't making a ton of sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

A wedding is a celebration, not a financial transaction.

Very expensive celebration that 50% will end up in divorce court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

A wedding is a celebration, not a financial transaction.

aren't you naive. My one GF I almost married in 1991 was into Big Italian over the top weddings. Her Dad was going to pay whole thing. We would of had around 400 people and Dad would have spent maybe $80,000 in 1991. I went to two of her cousins weddings and I know they cleared around $120,000 to $200,00. They also had engagement parties in catering halls with around 200-250 people. Mostly gifts but many another $20,000.

Her family was really generous. I know her Dad gave $5,000 at all the weddings of his nieces and nephews. So all her Uncles and Aunts would be giving $5,000.

We were going to use the money for our house. I was making 39K and she was making a bit more 40K back then not like we could do it on our own.

Thats 1991 money. I know today in 2026 an average nice wedding for a blue collar family on Long Island can run $80,000 all in. I am sure my 1991 wedding I never has would be $250,000 today. I went to a blue collar wedding on Long Island a few weeks ago and my wife and I gave $1,000 and it was just an old neighbor. Nice girl and she was paying most herself and she was just a 25 year old pre school teacher. I know every wedding gets a few dead beats I dont want to be one of them. Expect a 25 year old girl with a blue collar Dad to buy your a a $300 dinner and you write a check for $100

You and your family are tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

But you are not a 25 year girl spending every cent she owns on a wedding inviting Millionaires who screw over the bride by being cheap. I throw big bashes now I dont want anything. But when I was married without a pot to pee in throwing a wedding where I rolled every last penny I had to make it nice for my guests I have no love for Millionaires pulling up in Mercedes handing out $75 checks. Stay home. My poor widowed aunts I appreicate even a $5 dollar check. But not you rich folk.

Show me a girl like this and I will show you a girl who is financially illiterate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

no it is something most people think about. I give differently if attending a wedding that costs $300/person versus $100/person.

No, it is not.

Expecting your guests to give you enough cash to pay for their food is low class and trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

no it is something most people think about. I give differently if attending a wedding that costs $300/person versus $100/person.

That's ridiculous. You are not being invited to reimburse the hosts.

Has this become the expectation? The last few weddings we have been invited to had things on the registry specific to the wedding, plus the honeymoon flight, AirBnB, dinners, etc. The registry was like a Sign-Up Genius of sorts with a number of slots available at specified payment amounts to pay for each item. I think we even saw an ask for money towards a house down payment and another couple, who already have a house, asked for money to go towards landscaping.

We held the wedding we could afford and didn’t go on a honeymoon because we couldn’t afford it.

That is soooooo tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

Yeah, most people who invite someone to a $500.00 plate meal are treating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple can’t afford to pay for their own wedding, they aren’t ready to get married.

Yes, that may mean downsizing the event, but maybe it will help the couple focus on tbings that are actually important.

A gift check from parents is nice, but only if it is truly a gift and not a way to weasel into planning the wedding.

Except some kids would prefer to just elope, yet their parents want to be there. My aunt and uncle refused to give their son (gave their daughter 50k the year before) any money for his wedding and he eloped instead. They were devastated. Actions have consequences. A lot of parents have massive demands. You can't demand anything when it's not your own wedding.

Except some places like Long Island and New Jersey people write the check at the reception, I would give $1,000 at a fancy wedding the one where there are food trucks and tap beer I might give tops $200 bucks. So cheap weddings can cost more. The trick is not to go over the top, but not so cheap people give you $100 buck gifts.

Wow. How well do you know these people? $100 seems like a pretty good gift, depending on how close you are to them.

$100? Are you on crack? Also closeness does not matter that much. I went to an old neighbors daughters wedding of a women we have not seen in 8 years. Just me, wife and younger daughter. I gave $800 and thought cheap as nice weddings are at least $250 a person. A few weeks early went to my nephews really fancy wedding the three of us gave $1,000 and that wedding must have been $350 a person so I was actually cheap.

Even a DJ, tent, open bar, decorations, catered food in backyard is above $100 a person

I hardly call covering my plate overly generous.

Generous was in 1998 at my wedding which was $150 a person I got a few $500 to $1,000 per couple gifts. Most gave $200 a couple which was nice but not overly generous and one or two gave $75 which was FU money even in 1998.

Covering your plate is a low class Long Island gypsy mentality.

I’ve never thought paying for the wedding to be the job of the guests. That’s a very novel concept to me. How much someone chooses to spend on their wedding is on them.

So if I go out to a steak house with you and bill is $500 for two of us I guess I can pay $50 as I don’t have to cover the plate.

My cheapest guest was my cheap ass one uncle who gave $75 at my wedding for two people on 1998. Cost me close to $300 for two of them, my wife was spitting fire writing thank you note.

He died last year and my wife goes heard your cheap uncle died. Like 9/11 wonen never forget who gave cheapest gift

If you throw a holiday party, do you expect your guests to bring a present that is somehow equal to the estimated cost per person of your holiday party...or better yet, do you expect they give you a cash gift?

Our holiday parties have bartenders, entertainment, we hire wait staff...I actually don't want anyone who attends to give me anything except an invite to a party they through (and we don't care if that invite is just a barbecue or something informal).

I always expect my trick or treaters to bring me a full sized candy bar in exchange for their treat. Duh.