Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

+1. Now everyone knows who not to invite.

Evidence that those mean girls your daughters encounter throughout their lives don’t fall far from the tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go to the winery without inviting them?

OP—I have an event planned at the winery and was meeting up with a caterer/event planner.

Are they invited to your event?

[Anonymous]

So if OP was invited, she would be totally fine with being a “clique” of 16 people, right? If she had been invited along, and had gone, she would be one of the horrible clique moms…right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really just trying to understand. What makes a friend group "cliquey"? It seems like by definition any friend group would not include everyone. It also seems expected that some people in any friend group will (one hopes) have friends outside the friend group. So if you have a friend who is in a different friend group than you, and doesn't invite you when that friend group gets together, is that automatically "cliquey"?

I think clique status depends a little bit on how people conduct themselves within the broader group. If you have a setting with a large group of people (an office, a school community, etc.), of course some people are going to form friendships within the bigger group and will sometimes get together with those friends without inviting others. I don't think that's cliquey by itself. But how that group conducts itself when they are with the rest of the community could be cliquey. Things like:

- A group of friends in an office who talk about their weekend or evening outings in front of others, or who only ever want to work with people in their friend group

- A group of moms on the PTA who don't invite other parents to volunteer and just do all the events with just one another. Or, in OP's case, if the women who get together for these Friday outings often talk about them in front of her without inviting her (unclear if that happens)

I also think that if a friend group encompasses almost everyone in the broader community except a few people, it's cliquey not to just invite those few people. You might not like it because there might be reasons you find those people annoying or not as fun. But then form a smaller group. If there are 20 moms in the neighborhood who all send their kids to the same school, getting together with 15 of them but not inviting the other 5 is cliquey even if you have a reason not to want to invite them. People still do it, but don't be surprised when it the people who were excluded then dislike you or feel hurt because duh.

The only information we have is they all have kids at the same school. This doesn’t sound like everyone on her street but her, all the other girl moms in the class, all the team moms but her, all the PTA moms but one, etc. 15 moms from one school means a whole lot of people were excluded.

DP. It very much sounds like something similar.

Not likely.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. We're new to a school and it's been hard to break into established groups. I've tried to be social, I've even invited people over, but no one reciprocates and I'm even FB friends with some of them, so I know they hang out but no one ever thinks to invite someone they've only met a handful of times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

+1. Now everyone knows who not to invite.

Evidence that those mean girls your daughters encounter throughout their lives don’t fall far from the tree.

Are mean women just avoiding the socially clueless? Life is too short to try to make it work with some people. OP is planning her own private winery event. She doesn’t need these people that she apparently doesn’t click with anyway. Being weird and awkward about it doesn’t change anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

How so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

See I’m not hearing that at all. sounds like the knew they were being exclusionary and it was obvious. If anything cracking a joke about it diffuses the awareness.

+1

She could have just let it roll off her back and been as unbothered as she claims.

She could’ve done a backflip with corks in her ears too, but this is irrelevant.

I’d def invite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

See I’m not hearing that at all. sounds like the knew they were being exclusionary and it was obvious. If anything cracking a joke about it diffuses the awareness.

How many people have to be invited to not be exclusionary? The whole class? Entire grade? All school? What is the rule here you seem to be applying?

Calm down, Sheila.

Wow, why did you choose that name? it sounds like you have a personal target and personal vendetta.

Fascinating.

I don’t actually know anyone named Sheila. Please continue your analysis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

Agree. And I suspect we’re getting some mom wine hangover fatigue pushback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

+1. Now everyone knows who not to invite.

Evidence that those mean girls your daughters encounter throughout their lives don’t fall far from the tree.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

Agree. And I suspect we’re getting some mom wine hangover fatigue pushback.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Ran into about 15 or so moms from our elementary school having wine and apps at a local winery on Friday around noon. I was like WHAT???? I didn’t realize mom cliques are still a thing. They felt uber uncomfortable seeing me there. I texted one of the mom’s later and said I didn’t realize there was an invite only Friday gatherings. Bus stop interactions will be interesting on Monday! LMAO! Share your favorite mom clique story DCUM.

They sound like barely functioning alcoholics. I would consider yourself blessed to not be around these individuals. I bet they're aging like kaka with all that alcohol.

Agree. And I suspect we’re getting some mom wine hangover fatigue pushback.

How does having lunch with friends at a winery indicate “barely functioning alcoholic”? I’m truly curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you made unnecessarily awkward. People are allowed to meet up without you. If you had just been friendly and not made an issue of it, you might have been invited to the next one.

See I’m not hearing that at all. sounds like the knew they were being exclusionary and it was obvious. If anything cracking a joke about it diffuses the awareness.

+1

She could have just let it roll off her back and been as unbothered as she claims.

She could’ve done a backflip with corks in her ears too, but this is irrelevant.

I’d def invite you.