If you have a top student who chose GMU, how did you get over the comments/looks?

[Anonymous]

My DS will graduate one year early from GMU on May 9th with a degree in CS, and a job offer from Blackstone. He taught guitar as a side gig to a 13 years old kid whose dad is an EVP Capital One. The kid’s father is the friend of a SVP at Blackstone and gave him the job. There isn’t that much difference between UVA, VT or GMU in CS.

[Anonymous]

His reasoning is sound, and there is consensus that he has made a very good decision.

Decision making skills are a key part of executive function.

Sounds to me like he might have benefitted tremendously from his EF coaching over the years. It worked. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Noticing this thread is a year old. Interested to hear OPs experience one year in.

[Anonymous]

show them the outcome after 4 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:show them the outcome after 4 years

This is what matters the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with people? He made a mature decision based on his needs and the best way to excel.

If a friend laughs at him just ask them which Ivy they’re going to or did they choose MIT.

Your family should be proud.

+1. Anyone who attacks another kid's school choices has more than a few screws loose in their head, OP. Especially if that someone is a grown adult. Normal, sane, rational people don't do that. If they do, you need to automatically take note and decide that they no longer matter in your life. Because such behaviors say far more about them than they do about you. (If they do it more than once, or if it involves gaslighting or other tactics, that is a whole new level of crazy - we have seen it on DCUM).

Have you seen some of the posts by parents trying to disparage other kid's school choices (or anything, really)? Do they seem sane to you, or manic and in need of serious and prompt professional help?

There is your answer.

[Anonymous]

SO many GMU threads this week! Fascinating.

[Anonymous]

The premise of this post is that non-top students deserve the looks they get for going to GMU. Why can’t the post be about how GMU is a good school overall, and not how top students should not go there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

I think that GMU is really the equivalent of a UK “plate glass university,” like the University of Warwick. It’s a top school in a top location. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

WTH?? The University of Warwick is nothing like GMU — I went there. It certainly is not in a top location and it is very self-contained. Sinfully ugly, but one of the best universities in the UK. GMU is a suburban school and it’s fine. Nothing against it, but couldn’t be more different than Warwick.

0.
And GMU is rapidly becoming one of the best U.S. research universities in the United States. It’s just new, not bad.

please don't keep saying this - it makes you sound a bit delusional. people have been trying to make this happen for at least 25 years. The biggest bump the school has received was when the mens basketball team made it to the final 4 in the ncaa tournament in 2006 (and that's still a crown jewel achievement for the school).

Go read wiki before you post. GMU is already the largest R1 (top research) university in the Commonwealth.

That doesn't mean GMU does the most research. It means it has more students than any other R1 university in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid sounds ridiculously bright and will kick a$$ wherever he goes. Don’t give a rats a$$ about what anyone says. He’s making the right choice for himself. He’s clearly an awesome kid!

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

I think that GMU is really the equivalent of a UK “plate glass university,” like the University of Warwick. It’s a top school in a top location. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.

WTH?? The University of Warwick is nothing like GMU — I went there. It certainly is not in a top location and it is very self-contained. Sinfully ugly, but one of the best universities in the UK. GMU is a suburban school and it’s fine. Nothing against it, but couldn’t be more different than Warwick.

0.
And GMU is rapidly becoming one of the best U.S. research universities in the United States. It’s just new, not bad.

please don't keep saying this - it makes you sound a bit delusional. people have been trying to make this happen for at least 25 years. The biggest bump the school has received was when the mens basketball team made it to the final 4 in the ncaa tournament in 2006 (and that's still a crown jewel achievement for the school).

Go read wiki before you post. GMU is already the largest R1 (top research) university in the Commonwealth.

That doesn't mean GMU does the most research. It means it has more students than any other R1 university in Virginia.

false. go look up what R1 means

[Anonymous]

OP— your kid takes their lead from you. So, you fake it til you make it. A slightly incredulous “did you really just say that out loud?” look at someone making a rude comment. Then you say “we think he make a wonderful choice and we are so proud of him.”

That’s it, discussion over. You don’t owe anyone an explanation and you should never let yourself be put in the position of playing defense. So don’t.

My kid went to a SLAC, despite getting into schools including WM. Again, significant ADHD played a role. And I had people say things like “why would you pay so much for a school no one has heard of when he could go to WM?” In front of him. So rude. So, they got my “did you really just say that out loud?” Look and “X is a wonderful school for the Kid and we think he made a great decision (also, significant merit and not more expensive than WM in state. But I’m not explaining or debating the merits of a college that is actually very well known if you get outside of the VA State College bubble).

Every time you “fake it,” you believe it more. And once college actually starts and you see your kid doing well, you are no longer faking it at all.

You tell your kid that going against peer pressure to make good personal decisions is tough, even for people in their 40s and 50s. And you are proud of them for having solid priorities and making a decision that is in line with them, rather than taking the easier path of attending a peer approved school. It shows self awareness and wisdom, and you now know they have the maturity to succeed in college. That part you shouldn’t have to fake. It’s 100% true.

My kids were classes of 20 and 22. And the 22 kid had some peers who tanked during distance learning and went from expecting UVA/WM/VT/JMU etc to starting at NOVA. By next year, they will all be settled as juniors in solid to excellent 4 year schools. The time at NOVA was a blip on their radar.

[Anonymous]

You just get used to it. The furor over who is going where for college lets up once college starts in the fall. Congrats to your kid on making a responsible choice, not falling for Top 20 hype and realizing what everyone knows but doesn’t want to admit “it’s not where job go but what you do when you get there.”

[Anonymous]

Being wise is knowing who you are and doing what is the best for yourself, striving is keeping up with the neighbors.

Which works better long term?

GMU is a great academic school, I know GMU grads going to MD programs and UVA and WM going to PA/NP school.

With this being said, its not for everyone, the social scene isn't what most kids want and that is fine! I know this wouldn't be the place for my daughter , so I don't push it with her.
I also know that for some kids this is exactly the social environment they need the next four years and that is wonderful!

You cannot compare apples and oranges. Its like saying everyone looks good in crop tops--some look great and some dont--wear what works for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just get used to it. The furor over who is going where for college lets up once college starts in the fall. Congrats to your kid on making a responsible choice, not falling for Top 20 hype and realizing what everyone knows but doesn’t want to admit “it’s not where job go but what you do when you get there.”

No, it does not. Have you seen certain anti-(college name here) threads about particular colleges? They are revived regularly, and the OP and FOP (Friends of OP) normally revive the thread, then have to slowly back away once they have been disproved, yet again.