If you have a top student who chose GMU, how did you get over the comments/looks?
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Anonymous
| DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision? |
Anonymous
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Just support him and don't make a big thing about it. You can't control what other people say. Make sure he knows your are proud of him and especially make sure he hears that you are impressed with how he made his decision (it sounds like he made a very adult decision based on his actual priorities instead of what other people think his priorities should be). But don't belabor it. Decision is made, he's happy, you're happy. If you keep bringing it up or make it seem like you are feeling defensive, he may start to think you actually worry he's making a mistake.
Also remember that this specific period in time, spring of Senior year when it's all about anticipation of graduation and post-grad plans, is short lived and intense. In just a few months, he'll be attending orientation, settling into campus life and classes. He will no longer be seeing classmates and his peer group will become other kids who made the same choice he did. It's a problem that solves itself. Just stick with him, back him up when necessary, but don't let the comments or judgment of others get you down, and he'll see that and it will help reassure him. What a great moment to learn to shake off the expectations and judgment of others. A skill that will come in useful for decades to come. |
Anonymous
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Congratulations! You have a really smart kid!
I know quite a few TJ kids that chose GMU for similar reasons and/or scholarships and all are doing very well now. I know a business major who chose GMU so she can commute from home and get a free education (she got a tuition waiver) and is on track to become a partner at a top consulting firm. Show him some high ranking folks on Linkedin that went to GMU (there are many). It might hurt a bit for a few weeks, but once school begins he won't care. |
Anonymous
| 23.21 PP again.. An unrelated question.. How does his ADHD manifest itself if he's doing so well academically? I suspect with a 1580 SAT he also has a high weighted GPA.. Also, what does he plan on studying? |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t worry about what others think. College is such a personal choice. Many decide it’s not for them. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. |
Anonymous
| Just affirm GMU's great outcomes. I had lots of friends who went to GMU before it gained the great rep it now has. They went for financial reasons and one to stay close to a parent after the loss of the other parent. One is a law professor, another works for the FBI and another works for the CIA. It's all good. |
Anonymous
Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Sometimes DCUM can be hit or miss, and I just brace myself. To answer, his ADHD manifests itself in his really poor executive functioning and hyperactivity. He's also highly distractable. He has an EF coach who he has had since 7th grade and his needs have changed over time, of course, but his ADHD makes his EF age about 14 years old. Luckily he was blessed with a high IQ and huge (and sometimes unhealthy) dose of perfectionism. He had a 504 all through HS and was approved for accommodations at GMU. He plans to major in computer science with a minor in physics. |
Anonymous
I think that GMU is really the equivalent of a UK “plate glass university,” like the University of Warwick. It’s a top school in a top location. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. |
Anonymous
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Good for him. Sounds like he made an excellent and practical choice. My kid is going to Maryland and that feels looked on also. I thought this was an interesting albeit semi-dated video of a talk by Malcolm Gladwell
https://youtu.be/7J-wCHDJYmo |
Anonymous
WTH?? The University of Warwick is nothing like GMU — I went there. It certainly is not in a top location and it is very self-contained. Sinfully ugly, but one of the best universities in the UK. GMU is a suburban school and it’s fine. Nothing against it, but couldn’t be more different than Warwick. |
Anonymous
| Dude. Care less. Who cares what those people think?? Also; it’s nice your kid will be close to home |
Anonymous
| Your kid sounds amazing and mature. Congrats! |
Anonymous
| Your kid sounds ridiculously bright and will kick a$$ wherever he goes. Don’t give a rats a$$ about what anyone says. He’s making the right choice for himself. He’s clearly an awesome kid! |
Anonymous
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CS major and get into FAANG+
Give a look at the UVA kids with history, english, psychology, communications, and biology major who failed to make medical school in 3-4 years. |
Anonymous
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Why is JMU there lol
GMU and JMU are at the same level. GMU is in better location. |