Picky eating child

[Anonymous]

If you have a picky eater what do you do? One of my three is horribly picky. I have tried no thank you bites, just forcing her to eat our food, giving one thing she would like and it isn’t working. My mom says just force her to eat our food and she will if she is hungry enough. She won’t. She would rather starve.

Do you just keep at it and hope kid finally eats the food you serve? Or do you give in to picky eating? I am afraid she will go weeks just eating breakfast at this rate (the one thing she will eat is pancakes and bacon). Is it horrible for a 8 year old to only eat one meal a day?

[Anonymous]

I think there is an in between. I would always include something she will eat and hope for the best for the rest. I do not think you can force a kid to eat and I do not think meals should be a battle time.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP.
what foods does she eat willingly?
I don’t think you give in to junk food and give up on all fruits/veggies but there is a happy medium.
So like if I was serving a casserole that I wasn’t sure my kid would eat, I might also do bread, and fruit, available to everyone. So at least my kid will have bread and fruit and not go hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
what foods does she eat willingly?
I don’t think you give in to junk food and give up on all fruits/veggies but there is a happy medium.
So like if I was serving a casserole that I wasn’t sure my kid would eat, I might also do bread, and fruit, available to everyone. So at least my kid will have bread and fruit and not go hungry.

Op - yes she likes fruit and pasta. Pretty much no protein other than chicken nuggets (gross) and bacon. Sometimes rice. Other than that she likes snacks. I try and limit those as much as possible. She just is getting such horrible nutrition I am worried! No vegetables at all! I try and make her eat them and she gags.

[Anonymous]

Do you sit down and eat as a family? That helps my picky eater a great deal. I will make a meal I know he will eat - generally pasta - and add broccoli or peas or another vegetable on the side. He won't eat it right away but seeing the rest of the family eat it he usually gives a try.

It's a lot easier to give in to pickiness and short order chef and have your kids eat totally different food but this doesn't help. My sister does this for her kids and after we go on vacations together where we do it too, it takes weeks to get my kids eating veggies again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
what foods does she eat willingly?
I don’t think you give in to junk food and give up on all fruits/veggies but there is a happy medium.
So like if I was serving a casserole that I wasn’t sure my kid would eat, I might also do bread, and fruit, available to everyone. So at least my kid will have bread and fruit and not go hungry.

Op - yes she likes fruit and pasta. Pretty much no protein other than chicken nuggets (gross) and bacon. Sometimes rice. Other than that she likes snacks. I try and limit those as much as possible. She just is getting such horrible nutrition I am worried! No vegetables at all! I try and make her eat them and she gags.

Does she gag at every preparation of vegetables? Raw, steamed, and roasted? Even with butter and things like lemon and honey for flavor? I always found that strange of picky kids—the gagging when something is consistent (like yogurt/pudding/condiments) makes sense to me, but gagging at any and all vegetables seems like it’s psychological more than physical

[Anonymous]

When our picky eater was 11 and decided to become vegetarian, but only ate 2 vegetables (raw carrots and steamed broccoli), I brought her to a nutritionist. She had to keep a food diary for 2 weeks prior and bring to her first appointment. TBH, I was worried we were going down a path toward anorexia.

Her food groups were essentially pasta, cheese, and chocolate.

After a few months of weekly meetings, the nutritionist told me some kids, and some adults, don't have a wide rage of foods they eat and it's OK.

As long as whatever I made for dinner included one thing she ate, it would be ok. I also kept her favorite kind of yogurt, peanut butter and a few other things she could grab herself in the house at all times.

That kid decided it would be too hard to be a vegetarian in college and started eating meat the second half of her senior year in HS. The irony: her assigned roommate this year is a vegetarian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
what foods does she eat willingly?
I don’t think you give in to junk food and give up on all fruits/veggies but there is a happy medium.
So like if I was serving a casserole that I wasn’t sure my kid would eat, I might also do bread, and fruit, available to everyone. So at least my kid will have bread and fruit and not go hungry.

Op - yes she likes fruit and pasta. Pretty much no protein other than chicken nuggets (gross) and bacon. Sometimes rice. Other than that she likes snacks. I try and limit those as much as possible. She just is getting such horrible nutrition I am worried! No vegetables at all! I try and make her eat them and she gags.

Try to make homemade nuggets...just some cut up breast and breading. Serve it to the family and see what she does.. My family would get in to "taste tests" of new foods where everyone who had a bite could give a score out a 10, a description, and a vote as to whether we had it again or not.

[Anonymous]

How old is she? Have you talked to the pediatrician?

[Anonymous]

Some kids are actually ‘problem eaters’. This is a category beyond ‘picky’. They can have a sensory aversion to texture. This is a larger problem. It’s like asking them to put a tarantula in their mouth.

[Anonymous]

I was that picky child and had two picky kids, to varying degrees. The first thing to accept is that she really isn't doing this to be difficult. When I was a child those foods really did taste awful to me, I would gag too. Think of the most disgusting food you can imagine and how it would feel if someone forced you to eat that.

We followed the Satter "division of responsibility" for food. That is we chose what to serve and when, the kids decide if they will eat and how much. Every meal included at least one thing they would eat, generally fruit and/or bread. And then we didn't focus during the meal on who is eating what. No cajoling, no no-thank-you bites, etc. It was really hard for my husband who grew up with a "clean your plate" mom and likely as a result has very poor food regulation instincts and has been overweight his whole adult life. He wanted to do the "one bite" thing but that turned every meal into an argument about how much = "one bite". It made every meal a misery and my sympathy was 100% with my kids so I put a stop to it.

If the kids said they didn't want/didn't like something I'd just say that's ok. Your taste buds change as you grow up so eventually you may like it. That's what happened to me.

As you are already doing, you limit snacks to a defined time and the kitchen is closed outside of that time. And this has to apply to all the kids. The picky one isn't getting punished. It's healthier for all to not be grazing all day.

This is NOT a quick fix. It was years. It finally started getting better in middle school. But my kids are 20 & 21 and now eat pretty much anything. One hold out so far is 20 year old still can't eat beans (black beans, kidney beans, etc). She keeps trying because she wishes she could eat them but they still make her gag.

With this approach, even when it seemed at times that they lived on breakfast cereal (only at breakfast), a daily multivitamin, and air, they kept growing appropriately. Our ped actually said she'd never seen kids track so precisely on their growth curves. So, it is important to keep an eye on that and if they were to fall off the curve then you'd want to consult an eating specialist.

You can learn more about the Satter "eating competence" approach here https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/satter-eating-competence-model/

[Anonymous]

You need to introduce new foods up to 11 times, then it will be accepted. Avoid pancakes and bacon. She won’t starve, she will eat. Have her choose veg at the store, choose a recipe for the family and prepare it with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to introduce new foods up to 11 times, then it will be accepted. Avoid pancakes and bacon. She won’t starve, she will eat. Have her choose veg at the store, choose a recipe for the family and prepare it with you.

PP with the picky kids who took years to outgrow it -- Building up positive experiences with food in this way is certainly helpful but they still may not eat it. Don't get mad if she still won't eat it. We tried the help you cook, make it fun, etc. For the hard cases it really is more a matter of maturity and not making food a stress point and turning food into a battleground.

Also, "introducing" can mean just seeing it on the table, not actually tasting it. I laughed at the 11 times. Try 100 times and then keep going.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes this is behavioral. If you consistently cave and give her what she wants, why would she try something new?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to introduce new foods up to 11 times, then it will be accepted. Avoid pancakes and bacon. She won’t starve, she will eat. Have her choose veg at the store, choose a recipe for the family and prepare it with you.

These posts always make me chuckle. Look Billy we are having broccoli. I hope you have forgotten the other 10 tries and are willing to try it again. Does any kid every go for this??