College kid question -thanks.

[Anonymous]

My eldest is in college. We've always had a great relationship. I think this is normal but he only calls when he needs something. An example would be I'm need a few dates for planning purposes. He just doesn't respond. If he needs something he will call/text repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

I could see my DS doing this in the future. My DD is good at responding and communicating without specific “asks”.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to communicate your expectations for responses plainly the way you did here, OP.
In fact, you can say that you understand that he had a need to branch out and do his own thing, but that you’ve noticed that when he needs a response to something, he will text or call repeatedly if you don’t respond immediately—and yet if you send a text that requests a response, he often does not respond.
Then maybe suggest that you extend a 24-hour courtesy to each other that if a communication requires a response to a time sensitive question, you will each commit to responding within 24 hours.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much. I like the 24 hour courtesy idea because that doesn't make me look like a nag. It has been getting to me but I also know he's more social now than he ever has been. Extra thanks for not responding with 'land the chopper lady!"

[Anonymous]

Normal.

I got a son in College and he knows I don't like it if he doesn't respond so he does responds just to say "I'm busy right now, call you later, bye"

[Anonymous]

My kids generally check in after a week or so. I do not think it is terrible to ask for some communication after a week or 2.

[Anonymous]

Normal
We have two in college.

[Anonymous]

My child is like this.

I still think it is self centered and disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Also hurtful, because you know they answer their friends promptly.

[Anonymous]

It’s disrespectful and you need to tell him. And ignore his texts when he keeps bugging you.

He does this because you let him get away with it.

[Anonymous]

We have a standard weekly call. If either has to adjust the time, we simply text and suggest another time. I know DS is busy, but I insist weekly contact and for now he hasn’t resisted. In fact, I think he enjoys making sure his momma is also okay.

[Anonymous]

Respond at the tempo they set. They will get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is like this.

I still think it is self centered and disrespectful.

Or they are overwhelmed and busy. So perhaps lay off always reading in something negative.

[Anonymous]

Normal and recently discussed at length here

[Anonymous]

OP gave the example of texting to figure out dates for an event.

Figuring out dates requires several steps. That's more complicated then just saying hi, especially if they are neurodivergent.