High-conflict custody battle: how long?

[Anonymous]

How long does a high-conflict custody battle take? We have just started. Ex served me out of the blue and is asking for full custody. Even though I have always been the primary parent and primary earner. Boys are tweens. His lawyer asked for a comprehensive custody evaluation which was granted. Ex is threatening in writing that this is going to go on for the next 7 years, basically until kids graduate high school.

He is delusional right? How long is this going to take? Kids and I are living apart now and our home is more peaceful now that I am not in an emotionally abusive relationship and kids know that. There was one incident of physical abuse that kids witnessed. I do not have a lawyer as I cannot afford one. Kids not interested in living with him at all. He is abusive over email now that I am not in the same living space. I put kids in therapy.

Any advice or words of wisdom?

[Anonymous]

You need to get a lawyer. come on.

[Anonymous]

You'll be fine. It will be shared custody and judge may ask the kids what they want.
I did it without a lawyer. Nobody is going to take your kids.

[Anonymous]

If you are the primary earner, who is funding his lawyer? Personally, I would go into credit card debt over this unless I was very low income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are the primary earner, who is funding his lawyer? Personally, I would go into credit card debt over this unless I was very low income.

His parents. I am hesitant to hire a lawyer unless I really need to go to trial. His lawyer doesn’t scare me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'll be fine. It will be shared custody and judge may ask the kids what they want.
I did it without a lawyer. Nobody is going to take your kids.

if she doesn’t even attempt to get legal advice then this is rightfully a sign that she’s not necessarily the best parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are the primary earner, who is funding his lawyer? Personally, I would go into credit card debt over this unless I was very low income.

His parents. I am hesitant to hire a lawyer unless I really need to go to trial. His lawyer doesn’t scare me.

You are showing extremely poor judgment that makes me think your ex is correct. You NEED a lawyer to protect yourself. The fact that you don’t get that makes me think you have a screw loose and care more about being oppositional than actually resolving this quickly for your kids’ sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are the primary earner, who is funding his lawyer? Personally, I would go into credit card debt over this unless I was very low income.

I pulled out of my retirement to pay for the best lawyer in my custody case. Worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll be fine. It will be shared custody and judge may ask the kids what they want.
I did it without a lawyer. Nobody is going to take your kids.

if she doesn’t even attempt to get legal advice then this is rightfully a sign that she’s not necessarily the best parent.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read here in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are the primary earner, who is funding his lawyer? Personally, I would go into credit card debt over this unless I was very low income.

I pulled out of my retirement to pay for the best lawyer in my custody case. Worth every penny.

Exactly. If OP had a lawyer she might not even be in this high conflict position - the judge didn’t have to order the custody evaluation but she obviously wasn’t able to make any case about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll be fine. It will be shared custody and judge may ask the kids what they want.
I did it without a lawyer. Nobody is going to take your kids.

if she doesn’t even attempt to get legal advice then this is rightfully a sign that she’s not necessarily the best parent.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read here in a long time.

Um, if you decide you don’t need a legal professional to help you with one of the most important financial & parenting issues you’ll ever face - I don’t know what to say. It betrays a real lack of judgment.

[Anonymous]

You really need a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids. He can and will pursue this until your youngest is 18.

[Anonymous]

You need a lawyer! How is this even a question?

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP here. I got a lawyer. Lawyer did not help me. I spent $5000 already. To deal with his frivolous motions. I have a lawyer on consult now. Ex will continue to file frivolous motions. We never even went in front of a judge for the decision on an evaluation. I asked for mediation, ex said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP here. I got a lawyer. Lawyer did not help me. I spent $5000 already. To deal with his frivolous motions. I have a lawyer on consult now. Ex will continue to file frivolous motions. We never even went in front of a judge for the decision on an evaluation. I asked for mediation, ex said no.

Who do you think ordered the evaluation then?