Jen Hatmaker
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Anonymous
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As much as we snark on jane, y'all know she's got some fierce minion corneaters (there's a fun visual!) who genuinely love her and will go to the mat for her.
I personally dont get it. I do not see her posts & think "real" and "inspiring" in the least. but so many do |
Anonymous
| Jen does not look the same in the video reading her book as she does on her IG stories. Is this because on IG she uses filters? Or because of the angle of the camera? I’m wondering what the technical reason is for the difference. |
Anonymous
| Stephanie Neilson is pregnant with child number 6. |
Anonymous
Lighting, filters, professional makeup. Who knows? I do think in that video where she's reading the excerpt from her book, her face looks puffy and bloated, like someone who drinks a lot or otherwise retains a lot of water. She's got super dark circles and has a lot of concealer on. Jen is attractive but doesn't look her best htere |
Anonymous
Who is Stephanie Nielson?! (This ranks right up there with "Nancy Thomas is getting fired!") |
Anonymous
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Droolings!
Surprise surprise surprise! I saved the best for last! @THETREVORBARRETPROJECT finally came to YASS-HATS - remember, the Y is silent, beleaguereds. That was a bit of a tight one and I've made a note to tell our mutual publicist, HEATER, that we might need some more specific verbiage in next season's contract. But, despite initially playing coy about traveling to the PNW, Trevor tore himself away from his main hustle of trolling conservatives by stitching into their viral videos and his STAGGERINGLY BUSY tour schedule AKA hobnobbing with middle-aged white ladies who love cats, word shirts, and big squishy black man hugs, packed his dress bandana and hopped on a plane. Boyfriend knows what side his book deal is buttered on <swipe up to grab your copy of THIS CHANGES NOTHING, Trevor's LATEST about how he's made being a black man his entire personality> Natch we went to my fave fried fish place although Trevor doesn't eat things that used to have a face so the proprietor, whom I've EXCHANGED NUMBERS WITH, threw a couple of sticks of butter in the deep fryer. Delish! #LoveMyHealthConciousGuy #TrevorIsTotallyStillMyBF We spent the rest of the time strolling downtown YASS-HATS and basking in the warm approval of everyone's UTTER DELIGHT at seeing a WHITE WOMAN AND A SIX FOOT TALL BLACK MAN holding hands. The men in YASS-HATS (remember, the Y is silent) are so affirming and friendly - at least half of them winked at Trevor and a couple of them even gave Trevor their phone numbers. Such a darling, precious little village. I'll be DEVASTATED to go back to BEWDA where there's a much more alarming ratio of kind liberals to you-know-whats. I guess we should just start talking in code and calling them AMAZON SHOPPERS. Oh wait. NM, droolings. Tra la la. We were sitting in 'Decolonized Donut' which is YASS-HATs ethically sourced, dairy free, gulten free, sugar free, joy free, queer owned, immigrant owned, furry owned bakery engaged in deep, soulful conversation - that the rest of you probably don't have, droolings, because face it, you're not us- and it occured to me that the entire room was watching us with rapt attention. I thought to myself, I wonder what goes through everyone's heads when they see TREVOR AND I together, because it is totes normal for girlfriend groups and other couples to hyperanalyze randos sitting in a bakery sharing a gulten free split pea tart topped with carob shavings- SO DELICIOUS AND SATISFYING - and wonder "Wow, what is their life like? I wonder what their story is." I mean...I don't wonder that about other people, of course, but I'm certain everyone who catches a glimpse of us is UTTERLY CURIOUS. Why WOULDN'T we be front and center in everyone else's thoughts? Then, this one lady with blue hair and a t shir that said "Espresso Yourself - Respectifully and with Consent - politely asked if we could not talk so loudly and everyone stopped watching us. I'm sure they were still thinking about us, though. After our treat, I stood on my neighbor's porch at sunset and had TREVOR snap photo after photo of me as I gazed off into the sunset. You know, a random contemplative moment in the life of moi, Jane Capstitcher. Now I'm lying in bed, basking in the uniqueness of this gift that is life in my fifties and doing a little editing in Lightroom to make the teeth in our selfies a little brighter. I love our teeth in photos to match the shade of my undereye concealer. Trevor is out on the daybed catching up on Facebook comments and texting his new friend Steve. SUCH a friendly little town, YASS-HATS. Life is good, beleagureds. Life. Is. Good. |
Anonymous
| Love this^ Keep bringing it, Jane!!! |
Anonymous
| Decolonized Donut. Man, I love Jane so much. |
Anonymous
| As brilliant as always! Please never stop writing these!!! |
Anonymous
I don't know who this is.....is she another grifter a la Jen Hatmaker? |
Anonymous
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Now I'm lying in bed, basking in the uniqueness of this gift that is life in my fifties and doing a little editing in Lightroom to make the teeth in our selfies a little brighter. I love our teeth in photos to match the shade of my undereye concealer. Trevor is out on the daybed catching up on Facebook comments and texting his new friend Steve. SUCH a friendly little town, YASS-HATS.
[i] Yassssss, Ms. Jane! What a TREAT to read your words again! 
(p.s....Does Trevor spend all night on the daybed, too? Oh wait----you two are deeply in LOVE and are totallllllllly attracted to eachother, right? ) |
Anonymous
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We were sitting in 'Decolonized Donut' which is YASS-HATs ethically sourced, dairy free, gulten free, sugar free, joy free, queer owned, immigrant owned, furry owned bakery engaged in deep, soulful conversation - that the rest of you probably don't have, droolings, because face it, you're not us- and it occured to me that the entire room was watching us with rapt attention.
I. AM. DEAD 
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Anonymous
| The very last item on her “stuff to do” list is “Proposal Rock.” It is not crossed off. |
Anonymous
| When I read Jen’s height-of-narcissism garbage about wondering what people are thinking as she and fake boyfriend are engaged in ENDLESS, EARNEST conversation, I was hoping that Jane Capstitcher would bless us with another brilliant composition. Thank you, Jane- you are the best!! |
Anonymous
It's a fine illustration of the path that "deconstruction" takes people down, from emptiness and frivolity to the embrace of evil. |