How to tell if DD is stoned
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Anonymous
| Last few days I feel like my DD 17 has been coming home in the evenings stoned. She told me recently her close friend is getting high and offering pot to others. DD said she tried it and now everytime I see her I imagine she is stoned. We have addiction in our family and I’m really worried about this. How can I tell? |
Anonymous
| Have her pee in a cup. Tests are super cheap and accurate. Get them on Amazon or at the drug store. They have them for vapes too |
Anonymous
| Mom of stoner here -- yeah, test her. It kind of depends on if they're smoking weed or vaping. Look for lighters, Visine, mouthwash, etc. in places you wouldn't normally find it if you weren't getting high, e.g. her car if she drives. Smell her clothes -- even the vapes have a distinctive smell that you can suss out after a while. And do not believe the perennially popular excuse, "I was around people who were smoking, that's why my clothes/my breath/my car smells." |
Anonymous
| I would not test her. She is on the verge of adulthood. Your job is to encourage and prepare her to make good decisions, not to act as a prison guard. Developing a strong relationship with her where she can tell you things is the key. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like you have your own issues to work on, rather than redirecting your anxiety toward your kid. What are you going to do when she's at college? |
Anonymous
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Weed stays in your system for a month, testing would only tell you she is used that month, not that day.
Don't punish your daughter for being honest with you and admitting she tried it. |
Anonymous
| Lock her up |
Anonymous
This! |
Anonymous
| Just test her |
Anonymous
| OP here. I don’t want to test her and it’s not to the point that she would have paraphernalia. I think this is a very new thing and suspect she is getting gummies from a friend. I tried checking the bloodshot eyes and demeanor but I’m really doubting myself because those indicators can also be caused by lack of sleep or eye make-up. That’s why I was wondering if there is another way to tell. |
Anonymous
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If the answer was yes - what would you do? If the answer was no - would you still wonder?
I agree that on the verge of adulthood, policing will make her hide things instead of talk to you openly, but maybe that ship has sailed in your relationship already. More worrisome is if she is getting high on school nights and it's affecting other areas in her life. One of the things I remember about college was the kids who went wild as soon as they were free and were out partying every single night. Use this chance to teach your DD about moderation (especially in light of your family history) so that she can make good decisions on her own. |
Anonymous
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If she told you she tried it, and that her good friend is using it, then I’m not sure what new info a drug test would reveal.
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Anonymous
| OP I relate to this so much. My mother was an addict and died early from it. I get spun up thinking about my kids drinking/using. Its very hard. Being the child of an addict, its hard to remember what is normal teen behavior vs what we're looking for/projecting from our own experiences. I talk to my therapist about this often. |
Anonymous
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I mean... tell her you don't think she should be using pot!!
That you have family addiction issues and you don't want her going down that road. That pot is not the benign drug many people claim it is. That with your family history of addiction, she may be more likely to be affected negatively by trying pot. The Daily had an episode on pot a month or two ago. Put that on in the car and make her listen to it. Sit down and read articles about it. Tell her she is not allowed to smoke pot. That you re not ok with that. |
Anonymous
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I mean - have you not smoked or been around someone high? It’s not hard to tell.
But if you must know, kinda cloudy/pink ish eyes, eyes are a bit more closed looking, weird smile, random giggling not in total context. |