Possible Sexual Abuse

[Anonymous]

As a parent who dealt with this at Washington Hebrew, I want to pass along some words of advice. If you suspect your child has been a victim here or any other time in their life, immediately speak with your pediatrician (they will fit you in same day and are, sadly, very familiar with this process) or go to the police who will have a forensic psychologist speak with your child.

DO NOT ask them a million leading questions about if they have been touched by, creeped out by, etc by the accused. It goes against every fiber of a parents being, but do not do it.
If you have a young child, they can only be questioned ONCE by a professional and that one time can count as their statement and their testimony as well. Young children do not take the stand and cannot be re-interviewed and re-questioned, as it can be damaging for them.

If you ask your child many questions prior to their speaking with police or a doctor, that can be considered "leading" and, because they cannot be cross examined on the stand, result their statement/complaint to be dismissed or not included. This is one of the big reasons the case against the Washington Hebrew offender never went to trial.

No one tells you this until it is too late!

Adding on to this, Darkness 2 Light - https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-1/ - is an amazing organization that can help parents identify and prevent sexaul abuse. Once we all better informed, we can hopefully notice and help stop this horrible behavior. 1 in 10 American children will be sexually abused by the time they are 18, only 86% of cases are ever reported, and 90% of children know their abuser!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this post.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Even with a small child, teach your children about private body parts and who and in what contexts they should and should not be touched. If someone violates their boundaries, teach them to come to you with that information and that you will support them without judgement or blame.

If you have a child at NCRC, make sure to inform their PCP of this arrest as soon as possible even if your child doesn’t seem to have been victimized.

This NCRC case is very different from the case against Washington Hebrew as it is not solely built on victim testimony.

[Anonymous]

Also, teach your elementary aged children that CSAM is illegal and plentiful online. It’s not a place to satisfy their curiosities. It’s a crime.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for posting this very valuable information. This is the very best of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

This should be a sticky

It should also be shared with every NCRC family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Even with a small child, teach your children about private body parts and who and in what contexts they should and should not be touched. If someone violates their boundaries, teach them to come to you with that information and that you will support them without judgement or blame.

If you have a child at NCRC, make sure to inform their PCP of this arrest as soon as possible even if your child doesn’t seem to have been victimized.

This NCRC case is very different from the case against Washington Hebrew as it is not solely built on victim testimony.

Taking your child to the pediatrician should be the first phone call for any parent in their situation.

[Anonymous]

What happened to the NCRC thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to the NCRC thread?

It's still there.

[Anonymous]

This is very helpful advice. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who dealt with this at Washington Hebrew, I want to pass along some words of advice. If you suspect your child has been a victim here or any other time in their life, immediately speak with your pediatrician (they will fit you in same day and are, sadly, very familiar with this process) or go to the police who will have a forensic psychologist speak with your child.

DO NOT ask them a million leading questions about if they have been touched by, creeped out by, etc by the accused. It goes against every fiber of a parents being, but do not do it.
If you have a young child, they can only be questioned ONCE by a professional and that one time can count as their statement and their testimony as well. Young children do not take the stand and cannot be re-interviewed and re-questioned, as it can be damaging for them.

If you ask your child many questions prior to their speaking with police or a doctor, that can be considered "leading" and, because they cannot be cross examined on the stand, result their statement/complaint to be dismissed or not included. This is one of the big reasons the case against the Washington Hebrew offender never went to trial.

No one tells you this until it is too late!

Adding on to this, Darkness 2 Light - https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-1/ - is an amazing organization that can help parents identify and prevent sexaul abuse. Once we all better informed, we can hopefully notice and help stop this horrible behavior. 1 in 10 American children will be sexually abused by the time they are 18, only 86% of cases are ever reported, and 90% of children know their abuser!

Sending you a virtual hug. Thank you for helping others and hope your children are doing great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who dealt with this at Washington Hebrew, I want to pass along some words of advice. If you suspect your child has been a victim here or any other time in their life, immediately speak with your pediatrician (they will fit you in same day and are, sadly, very familiar with this process) or go to the police who will have a forensic psychologist speak with your child.

DO NOT ask them a million leading questions about if they have been touched by, creeped out by, etc by the accused. It goes against every fiber of a parents being, but do not do it.
If you have a young child, they can only be questioned ONCE by a professional and that one time can count as their statement and their testimony as well. Young children do not take the stand and cannot be re-interviewed and re-questioned, as it can be damaging for them.

If you ask your child many questions prior to their speaking with police or a doctor, that can be considered "leading" and, because they cannot be cross examined on the stand, result their statement/complaint to be dismissed or not included. This is one of the big reasons the case against the Washington Hebrew offender never went to trial.

No one tells you this until it is too late!

Adding on to this, Darkness 2 Light - https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-1/ - is an amazing organization that can help parents identify and prevent sexaul abuse. Once we all better informed, we can hopefully notice and help stop this horrible behavior. 1 in 10 American children will be sexually abused by the time they are 18, only 86% of cases are ever reported, and 90% of children know their abuser!

Sending you a virtual hug. Thank you for helping others and hope your children are doing great

+1000! Very helpful information for every parent to know. Wishing you and your children the best.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry you and the other parents had to deal with that. I hope your kids are doing okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, teach your elementary aged children that CSAM is illegal and plentiful online. It’s not a place to satisfy their curiosities. It’s a crime.

What is CSAM?

[Anonymous]

CSAM = Child Sex Abuse Material (images, video)