How long until we have a serious conversation about continuing a sport?

[Anonymous]

DD is a sophomore. She loves swimming, but she's awful at it. We're talking frequent DQ's because she can't get her stroke right, slowest of her age, etc. Her private school has a no-cut swim team, and she believes that because she earned a varsity letter that, "she's not that bad." Her club gives her one event a meet, and I suspect they're trying to get her to take a hint. I am ALL FOR swimming for fun and exercise, but people are starting to talk about her behind her back, which she naturally does not hear because she's in the pool and not the stands. She is not open to other sports. I could use advice about how to handle this, because I don't think what's happening now is sustainable.

[Anonymous]

Question: are people talking at both school and the club, or just one? Would there be an option of continuing one and not the other? Does she participate in summer swim?

We have a low ranked summer swim team and have had swimmers over the years who are truly terrible, but everyone loves having them around for their personality and team spirit. Is that kind of thing an option?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: are people talking at both school and the club, or just one? Would there be an option of continuing one and not the other? Does she participate in summer swim?

We have a low ranked summer swim team and have had swimmers over the years who are truly terrible, but everyone loves having them around for their personality and team spirit. Is that kind of thing an option?

Both. Moreso on the school side, because she's barely allowed to compete with the club. Unfortunately, she loves her school team.

There is no summer swim where we live.

[Anonymous]

Does she have friends on the team and enjoy the social aspects?

My DS was in a similar position and quit his sport after freshman year- but at that point he didn’t really have any friends on the team and was not really having fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she have friends on the team and enjoy the social aspects?

My DS was in a similar position and quit his sport after freshman year- but at that point he didn’t really have any friends on the team and was not really having fun.

No, not really. I think she's using it as exercise, which is why I'm loath to make her quit. On the other hand, being made fun up isn't great, especially since I think it'll become more vocal next year.

[Anonymous]

Ummm ... it SUCKS that anyone would make fun of her.

I know you're not supposed to meddle with high school kids, but I think I would say something to the coach. Like, "Look, I know she struggles, but she loves it, and it's not appropriate for kids to pick on her."

I give her credit for sticking with it!

[Anonymous]

Is she interested in some private lessons? Perhaps some stroke work could lesson the DQs and increase her times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she interested in some private lessons? Perhaps some stroke work could lesson the DQs and increase her times.

She's done clinics and camps and private lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she interested in some private lessons? Perhaps some stroke work could lesson the DQs and increase her times.

She's done clinics and camps and private lessons.

Genuinely not trying to be mean here - does she have any muscular or physical issues or has her pediatrician ever raised any concerns?

I have some incredibly klutzy children. However for all of them after a year of generic stroke work they could typically swim all 4 strokes legally in a race. I find it surprising that a kid would be able to invest this much time in swimming and regularly DQ baring a complicating factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm ... it SUCKS that anyone would make fun of her.

I know you're not supposed to meddle with high school kids, but I think I would say something to the coach. Like, "Look, I know she struggles, but she loves it, and it's not appropriate for kids to pick on her."

I give her credit for sticking with it!

Swimming is an individual sport, so I don't really understand the dynamics. With a team sport it's all fun and games until you hurt the team. You may get to the point where you cannot have friends on the team because you drag the team down. My DD's team had such a player last season: she considered herself as an asset, but she was completely clueless about her abilities. All the players and all the parents are happy that she is not on the team this season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she interested in some private lessons? Perhaps some stroke work could lesson the DQs and increase her times.

She's done clinics and camps and private lessons.

Genuinely not trying to be mean here - does she have any muscular or physical issues or has her pediatrician ever raised any concerns?

I have some incredibly klutzy children. However for all of them after a year of generic stroke work they could typically swim all 4 strokes legally in a race. I find it surprising that a kid would be able to invest this much time in swimming and regularly DQ baring a complicating factor.

She does not. She's actually a decent runner and did really well in MS x-c but prefers the pool because it's not outside or hot or whatever other complaint she can come up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm ... it SUCKS that anyone would make fun of her.

I know you're not supposed to meddle with high school kids, but I think I would say something to the coach. Like, "Look, I know she struggles, but she loves it, and it's not appropriate for kids to pick on her."

I give her credit for sticking with it!

Swimming is an individual sport, so I don't really understand the dynamics. With a team sport it's all fun and games until you hurt the team. You may get to the point where you cannot have friends on the team because you drag the team down. My DD's team had such a player last season: she considered herself as an asset, but she was completely clueless about her abilities. All the players and all the parents are happy that she is not on the team this season.

She's taking a spot from someone who can earn the team more points.

[Anonymous]

She's taking a spot from someone who can earn the team more points.

Is this OP? I would not worry about her “taking a spot”. That’s the coach’s decision. It’s one event — she’s maybe preventing them from getting 1 point.

If you hear people making fun, why are you not saying anything? I know my kid isn’t the best at some things but I’ll be the first to defend them if someone is making fun of them when they are trying their best.

Swimming is exactly the kind of sport kid like this should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm ... it SUCKS that anyone would make fun of her.

I know you're not supposed to meddle with high school kids, but I think I would say something to the coach. Like, "Look, I know she struggles, but she loves it, and it's not appropriate for kids to pick on her."

I give her credit for sticking with it!

Swimming is an individual sport, so I don't really understand the dynamics. With a team sport it's all fun and games until you hurt the team. You may get to the point where you cannot have friends on the team because you drag the team down. My DD's team had such a player last season: she considered herself as an asset, but she was completely clueless about her abilities. All the players and all the parents are happy that she is not on the team this season.

She's taking a spot from someone who can earn the team more points.

So,what? It’s a no cut sport,which means that the school is not interested in getting the most points. Let her swim.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been swimming?