When you are the only married with kids sibling

[Anonymous]

If you are the only female sibling and the only one that is married with kids, does hosting fall on you too? Don’t get me wrong, I kind of like that it does but other times I wish it would fall on one of my other siblings. But since neither are married or with children, they don’t offer to host.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to host- don’t.

I would definitely assign dishes to siblings and parents.

I’m the only one with kids. I really enjoy hosting and think it’s easier. Traveling with kids, missing naps is hard for me. I also can cook and decorate the way I want. My siblings don’t help at all, but parents do.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don't think single siblings are going to host. They usually don't even have a large enough place to do so and tbh, don't care about holidays as much as family people. When I was single, I would rather spend time with friends than family. That said, parents can host and you can take turns or assign dishes. At the end of the day, you can always say no.

[Anonymous]

I have three brothers and was the first to have children. We did always host but I assigned my brothers kid duty. They were amazing and the kids love time with them. They would up the ante every year and find ways to get the kids out of the house from sun up until right before food. It was glorious. Hikes, rainy adventures, one year they put paint in nerf guns and romped around in the woods. They’ve played capture the flag and football games. One year recently they built a treehouse with the kids in my SIL’s yard. They also always cleaned up.

Now that they have kids their wives will host sometimes too but the dads always still take the kids out and have an adventure. They started doing Friday too. My SILs and I sit around and binge shows and go to a workout class… I love it and the kids/dads do too!

[Anonymous]

Yes but I also don’t want to travel with my kids for holidays as they don’t live close. Honestly, I’d rather just be my immediate family on holidays.

[Anonymous]

Are you the oldest daughter? I am and have 2 siblings who are childless. I can't imagine letting them host. The control freak in me couldn't take it. But I recognize that's an oldest daughter thing.

[Anonymous]

You’ll never be the single sibling with no kids who is always expected to agree to all the plans made around the siblings’ kids because you’re so flexible and have no responsibilities. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

Even if they are married with kids--my brother and his family lived near us for a couple of years and offered to host Easter when my youngest was a few months old.

There was not one green item on that table. No salad, no cooked vegetables, nada.

I think she learned to prepare green things after my brother was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three brothers and was the first to have children. We did always host but I assigned my brothers kid duty. They were amazing and the kids love time with them. They would up the ante every year and find ways to get the kids out of the house from sun up until right before food. It was glorious. Hikes, rainy adventures, one year they put paint in nerf guns and romped around in the woods. They’ve played capture the flag and football games. One year recently they built a treehouse with the kids in my SIL’s yard. They also always cleaned up.

Now that they have kids their wives will host sometimes too but the dads always still take the kids out and have an adventure. They started doing Friday too. My SILs and I sit around and binge shows and go to a workout class… I love it and the kids/dads do too!

That sounds lovely!

[Anonymous]

I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment. My married with kids sister lives in a big house. Three guest rooms after the three bedrooms , 8 bathrooms. Truly, big. I can not host. They mostly host.

[Anonymous]

Nope, we live farther from the core of the family than anyone and they don’t even come visit!

[Anonymous]

We host my ILs, because my MIL lives just far enough away to be inconvenient and my SIL has a tiny condo. Also, both have cats and DD is very allergic. I don't mind hosting as it means we don't have to manage travel logistics for 2 small kids, but I do wish MIL and SIL were a bit more contributive. They don't lift a finger to help ever and if they bring a contribution, it's something gross like a Walmart baked good or questionable meat product.

[Anonymous]

The oldest siblings in both of our families have hosted for years. They have the houses and children first so it made sense and then became tradition. Everyone pitches in and brings food, drinks, extra folding chairs, etc. If they wanted a break, we would probably all go out to a buffet somewhere.

[Anonymous]

I think size of house matters more than kids/no kids in my family. Also whether the kids travel easily (making visiting another sibling simpler than hosting) or whether they are more comfortable in their own space (so hosting is the better option).

[Anonymous]

We are the only siblings with kids on either side. We have never hosted. Both moms still claim that as their domain.