People who spend decades living somewhere they don't love, how do you cope?

[Anonymous]

I grew up in this area, as did my spouse, so almost all of our friends and family are local to us. I like the area, but I don't love it, and I've always dreamed of moving to the West Coast. Those who have decided to stay in a place they don't love forever, how do you cope?

[Anonymous]

Why do you have to LOVE where you live? I don't understand people's preoccupation with always needing to be happy, have the best xyz, etc. Be content with what you have. Find happiness with where you are. Good enough is pretty damn good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to LOVE where you live? I don't understand people's preoccupation with always needing to be happy, have the best xyz, etc. Be content with what you have. Find happiness with where you are. Good enough is pretty damn good.

Agreed. People need perspective. As an American you are already ahead of like 80% of humanity in comfort and opportunity

[Anonymous]

Come to like the DMV pretty well. No big big big forest fires earthquakes mudslides or floods. Used to dream of California. Not any more

[Anonymous]

Bloom where you’re planted.

I love this book:
This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live by Melody Warnick

[Anonymous]

You find things about it that you can love. There are great things about most places.

[Anonymous]

I was a child and had no choice. I moved as soon as I could. Turned out I was too quirky for suburban cookie cutter types. Moved to a fun city and haven't looked back.

[Anonymous]

You might be happier in another community within the area. We didn't love living on U Street, but we love, love, love Hyattsville. Have you really explored communities that are beyond the areas you were familiar with when you grew up?

[Anonymous]

It’s human nature for a lot of people. I’m a Palo Altan. Always wanted to move east. Live in Chevy Chase now. There are days I’d kill to go back. And I know just as soon as I did I’d want to move back to CC. Nostalgia is a bittersweet liar. That holds true for nostalgia for things that never have been.

[Anonymous]

So much of my life is the same no matter where I live. Take kids to school, work, pick up, make meals, drive to activities, household maintenance. It’s literally the same no matter where I live and I move cross country every few years. The scenery changes but that’s about it. If I don’t like where I live then that’s where vacations, weekend getaways, day trips come in.

[Anonymous]

If you’ve never lived anywhere else, I think you would hate it. You have never had to make friends as an adult, find your way, establish yourself, plant roots. You would be miserable because it takes a long long time to feel at home.

[Anonymous]

Travel
Vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bloom where you’re planted.

I love this book:
This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live by Melody Warnick

No. Just no. That's bs.

[Anonymous]

You make a conscious choice and know the reasons for it. You might prefer another place for some reasons but for others it would be awful. I think for those where everything lines up, they are really lucky. For most of us, jobs, schools, safe environments for our kids, proximity to family we care about seeing,
Proximity to friends we care about seeing, weather preferences of each family member, proximity of favorite activities and everything else that goes into loving where you live rarely 100% line up. There is always compromise.

[Anonymous]

DH is like this, and it is exhausting. He hates the house we have lived in for 20y. It was what we could afford 20y ago and has kept us from being house poor (low mortgage.) Are there things I would change? Yes. But it is a perfectly fine home.