Leaving a tween alone at night + up to 8 hrs, multiple xs per week-- Maryland
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Anonymous
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My sister's STBX (MoCo) has decided he simply must pursue his hobby and has been leaving their kid alone at night until 11 pm++ on school nights, about 2-3x/week, almost every week. He also leaves the kid alone for most of the day on Saturday and/or Sunday. Child is 10. They have been splitting time 50/50, every other week.
He got a gig doing this for a couple of months. (Technically he does get paid for this hobby, but very little, like min wage or lower.) Meanwhile he's stayed unemployed since they first separated 2 years ago. I told her he's trying to get out of paying her child support, bc he used to make 3x what she makes. She's on food stamps by herself. But anyway. He told her she could watch their kid when he was out, but she declined since she thought that would force him to figure out childcare. To be fair?? even though he was terrible to my sister, we all thought he was a great dad, and he stepped up in the past. Well, I guess that's over now that they're definitely divorcing. No babysitter, no neighbors, just leaving the kid home alone. Now that the first gig is over, he's starting another gig. Same thing. He left the kid sick in bed and alone all day Saturday (week before last). When my sister took her for her week, she was sick enough she had to miss 3 days of school. She said kid only got 6-7 hours of sleep most of STBX's week. Sister said she'd had enough and told her attorney. Lawyer recommended she take her kid when her STBX was at his gig from now on, on top of her own weeks, but that they should wait and see if he gets a THIRD gig before they ask for more than 50/50 custody. This seems crazy to me. I say she should call CPS. I have a friend who's a mandatory reporter who said she would. I know MD law says it's okay if she's 8 years old, but then I read where CPS says "not for long periods." He's leaving her 6-8 hours at a time, 3x a week or even more. Should I call CPS? Why isn't the lawyer more concerned? I could understand if he needed to do this to put food on the table, but he's broke and instead of looking for a regular day job making $75/hr like he used to, he's basically getting paid $5/hr to neglect his kid. The kid is responsible for her age, but this seems crazy inappropriate to me. Maybe neglect is a little strong-- I'm not worried she's going to die and I know we latchkey kids all survived the 80s. But what would you do? |
Anonymous
| That poor little girl. If I were your sister, I would absolutely take my daughter instead of letting her stay by herself for 6-8 hours. WTF? |
Anonymous
| CPS isn't going to do much. She needs to take the child full time, document it and go back to court. |
Anonymous
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Why would she not follow the legal advice she’s been given. Don’t think her attorney doesn’t know about CPS? Doesn’t she worry that she will lose her kid too since she’s not stepping up to the plate when her ex said he wasn’t available and he would willingly give her the child?
All of you are just awful. You’re using your own child to get what you want instead of giving her what she needs. |
Anonymous
| That is really sad. I have a 10 yo daughter who is very responsible but I wouldn’t leave her for more than 20-30 mins. She would be very lonely and sad to be home by herself that much. |
Anonymous
And yes, I would take my child whenever I could. |
Anonymous
This. Like the poor kid has not been through enough!! 😩 Now she has go sit around and contemplate that her dad cares more about “X” than her. And God knows what a child that age is doing all if that time . She is a disaster in the making. Your sister has to step up and put the child first!! |
Anonymous
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?? She is taking her kid now, every time he is at one of these stupid gigs. I guess I didn't make that clear.
The part that was really crazy to me is that her lawyer was telling her she shouldn't ask for more than 50/50 custody unless he takes another gig. Lawyer says, "He's a good dad, he's just focused on this hobby for now, let's see if he takes another gig." But he's obviously?? going to take another gig when he can. Why not try and get full custody now, if this is CPS-worthy behavior? |
Anonymous
| No it’s not cps worthy. Find a new attorney. |
Anonymous
| What is this gig? Could it be steady work? |
Anonymous
No, you did not . You said he’s been leaving her alone until after 11 PM 2 to 3 times at night and that all weekend and she was home sick for an entire day. She needs to continue taking her daughter and document it. Unfortunately, she’s trying to gotcha her x but that only will only hurt her daughter. |
Anonymous
| Please remember that CPS can traumatize the child. You may be thinking that CPS will punish the dad but the child will also be affected. |
Anonymous
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I just want to make sure I understand.
They aren’t divorced, and there isn’t a formal custody agreement. So, they both have equal responsibility at all the time. He communicated to her that he needed to work and asked her to watch her child, and she refused resulting in the child being alone. Now she wants to call CPS on a situation where she left her own child alone and refused to provide care and she thinks this will help her in court? That poor kid. |
Anonymous
Why would she try and get full custody when she doesn’t want the kid? I am confused. As a parent who did want (and got) full custody, I demonstrated the by being there for my kids consistently. She decided she didn’t want her kid on those days he offered. |
Anonymous
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This is a troll post. I'm too lazy to find it, but this very scenario was posted here in the last year or so.
Signed, Has a good memory/ spends waaaay too much time on dcum. |