How often does the DH really sleep with the au pair IRL?

[Anonymous]

Not talking about celebrity cases or fiction/film.

I mean among people you actually know.

[Anonymous]

I know 1 in LA who left his wife for the au pair

[Anonymous]

I knew a bunch of au pairs back when I was in my 20s. We used to go to party together. None of them would sleep with the DH. They were much more into guys around their age, not old guys with dad bods.

[Anonymous]

I know of one DW who slept with the au pair’s brother when he was visiting.

[Anonymous]

We had a couple of very attractive young nannies but I never worried about it. My husband worked long hours and the nannies were off on weekends so they didn’t spend a lot of time together. I’m sure they had no interest in a 40 year old.

[Anonymous]

More often the au pair is irresponsible, unhelpful, and not worth the expense. It’s like adding a teenager to your family. They want to travel and be a teenager or young adult; they don’t want to change diapers or vacuum.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a lot more rare than the fantasy implies.

In fact, what is very common is au pairs asking the agency to be re-homed because the father starts acting inappropriate toward the au pair. My SIL got two short-term au pair's this way in the DC area - they left because the dad was creeping them out.

[Anonymous]

Twice a week

[Anonymous]

I don’t know any. We had plenty of live in nannies over the years and one was divorced, 50- ish with a figure I could have killed for. I never suspected anything but after a few months it became clear she had a bunch of men friends and a drinking problem so we encouraged her to move on. She was actually a very good nanny.

[Anonymous]

What does her contract say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a lot more rare than the fantasy implies.

In fact, what is very common is au pairs asking the agency to be re-homed because the father starts acting inappropriate toward the au pair. My SIL got two short-term au pair's this way in the DC area - they left because the dad was creeping them out.

In my early 20’s I was the nanny for two years in Connecticut for a young widower with two pre-K children. He never creeped me out and he treated me like a much younger sister. Twice I went with them on vacation and I’m sure some people thought I was a much younger wife. During those two years I learned a lot about child rearing plus what to look for in a husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does her contract say?

[Anonymous]

It probably happens a lot more than you know.

[Anonymous]

I know of one case. Was very surprised.

[Anonymous]

Most au pairs are really unattractive. This is a total fantasy