“I hate that” as a response to something you do/ like

[Anonymous]

Mid 40s and I’ve noticed that this has started to irk me as a response to my sharing something I do or like. I get it quite a bit bc I work in social media and people tend to say they hate social media when I tell them this (which I never ask them and can feel aggressive and also odd to me given that social media is most of the internet but I get it). But I have a couple friends who will tell me this as a response to my just sharing. Yesterday I was telling a friend I loved yoga and she said ‘I hate yoga’. It feels somehow unsolicited and a bit insulting. I’m NOT an easily offended person typically so I’m curious as to others takes and why this irks me…

[Anonymous]

You seem very defensive about social media. It’s “half of the internet” and also the largest under appreciated public health crisis.

[Anonymous]

Social media is awful in so many ways. However, depending on what your job is, I would try not to say something judgmental to your face. But if you're an influences or vague content creator, then I'm silently judging you...

In regards to something like yoga, it's not a personal attack on your love of yoga. My friend likes kayaking. I hate kayaks. We joke about this. It doesn't make her enjoy kayaking any less knowing that I don't like it, it just means she knows not to invite me to do it with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem very defensive about social media. It’s “half of the internet” and also the largest under appreciated public health crisis.

+ It’s like saying you work for a tobacco company.

[Anonymous]

Reframe

Someone who is unhealthy says “I hate yoga” think well that make sense instead of being offended.

A friend who easily gets jealous, “ I hate social media, well of course you do it’s hard for you to see others enjoying their life.

My friend who dresses like she’s still in the 90’s swill comment she doesn’t like my outfit and I take it as a compliment because if she liked my outfit I’m doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

It's called conversation.

[Anonymous]

If it's persistent and pervasive and depending on the person tone (brightly, resigned, slightly condesending) depends on relationship either "well that's why they make chocolate and vanilla" "good thing they make chocolate and vanilla" "aren't we lucky they make chocolate and vanilla" and "don't yuck my yum" and if it relates to your career maybe "I feel you, but glad for employment for sure!" (with a little sharper tone if the person does not work outside the home and is picking at your job)

All of the three chocolate and vanilla have a slightly different tone.

[Anonymous]

I think it more shuts down the conversation, tbh. It's a bit narcissistic as OP was talking about herself and the other speaker made it all about them in a way that is slightly insulting and a tad aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called conversation.

NP. I would say that is pretty low-quality conversation. Thinking that every conversation needs to come back or relate to you shows lack of social grace. If someone is enthusiastically saying that yoga makes them feel great, you can converse with them by asking what they love best about it, and if there is any other exercise they enjoy as well. If they ask whether you like yoga, you can say, “Not really, but I do love swimming.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called conversation.

You have low EQ if you don’t understand normal flow of conversation..

[Anonymous]

I say "I hate x" and follow up with a funny story about why if I want to conversate.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take them so seriously. It's not a jab at you, it's their own experience. Maybe awkward, but not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

You are friends with socially and emotionally very limited, parochial sounding people. I would make new friends, personally. That kind of negativity is toxic.

[Anonymous]

My sister does this and has for decades. I simply ignore it or say “cool” and move on. I don’t care what other people (even relatives) like or don’t like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say "I hate x" and follow up with a funny story about why if I want to conversate.

So if someone is talking about something they like, you think it’s good conversation to yank the topic away from their enjoyment and onto how you feel and why? Spare us.