S/o is the problem intensive parenting or lack of support?

[Anonymous]

It seems that some people say that intensive parenting is the problem but the outcomes of it seem to be good- healthier kids, better relationship with parents etc. so is the problem more that we need to structure society better to enable more intensive parenting (like better leave, more flexible jobs, more support for SAH parents)?

[Anonymous]

Both. More support is needed but parenting is too intensive and not good for kids

[Anonymous]

can someone give an example of “intensive parenting”?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, which thread is this a spin off of so I get some context?

[Anonymous]

What are you talking about? The results are disastrous. Mental health issues galore, lack of agency, lack of independence.

[Anonymous]

Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, which thread is this a spin off of so I get some context?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1232387.page

[Anonymous]

I’d say lack of support not intensive parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

I am highly supportive of my kids AND I have friends, work and a life outside of my family. I am raising them to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

I am highly supportive of my kids AND I have friends, work and a life outside of my family. I am raising them to do the same.

Highly supportive is not the same as intensive.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot of fluidity in the current definition of intensive parenting. Some would say it’s over the top helicopter parenting. Others would say it’s simply not gentle parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

I literally don't even understand how to make close friends and have/be a support system in our modern society. We are not religious. We've made some okay friends with neighbors and through sports, but I wouldn't call any of these people a "support system" and none of them were around before my kids went to elementary school.

[Anonymous]

I guess I’d be considered an intensive parent. It is much harder for me to do than the previous generation or other people who chose to stay in their hometowns, because I don’t have any parents or in-laws to help. It’s easier to be an intensive parent when there are other adults around, especially when you have more than 1 kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

I literally don't even understand how to make close friends and have/be a support system in our modern society. We are not religious. We've made some okay friends with neighbors and through sports, but I wouldn't call any of these people a "support system" and none of them were around before my kids went to elementary school.

Yeah people always say it takes a village. Where is that village? It’s either people with family around OR it’s a mantra repeated by users who take advantage of others’ time and energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intensive parenting causes the lack of support as parents don’t have time to have their own friends or their own lives. Too busy cultivating their kids so they can grab a spot in the shrinking middle class or smaller but bigger than it used to be UMC.

Some activities come with a support system though. Can’t deny that.

I’m getting my kids and I involved in a Church.

I literally don't even understand how to make close friends and have/be a support system in our modern society. We are not religious. We've made some okay friends with neighbors and through sports, but I wouldn't call any of these people a "support system" and none of them were around before my kids went to elementary school.

Yeah people always say it takes a village. Where is that village? It’s either people with family around OR it’s a mantra repeated by users who take advantage of others’ time and energy.

I'm a little sad reading this .. you don't have friends?

If a friend asks for help it's taking advantage?

You should share that with your therapist.