Coach’s negative attitude

[Anonymous]

Is it worth mentioning how a coach’s negative attitude is impacting the entire team to anyone in the club organization? This is a group of 14 to 15 year-old girls and it is really hurting the team dynamic, performance and many girls are suggesting they may not come back even for the spring season. I’m not referring to constructive criticism or even making real time corrections in a game- that would actually be appreciated. It is truly a shame as this is a group of girls that really like to play. I’m not even sure what the organization would do with this point as it appears it is difficult to replace coaches. It’s just as if this man has never dealt with a teenage athlete. I’m assuming few have had success in a similar situation but thought it was worth a shot to put it out there to get thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it worth mentioning how a coach’s negative attitude is impacting the entire team to anyone in the club organization? This is a group of 14 to 15 year-old girls and it is really hurting the team dynamic, performance and many girls are suggesting they may not come back even for the spring season. I’m not referring to constructive criticism or even making real time corrections in a game- that would actually be appreciated. It is truly a shame as this is a group of girls that really like to play. I’m not even sure what the organization would do with this point as it appears it is difficult to replace coaches. It’s just as if this man has never dealt with a teenage athlete. I’m assuming few have had success in a similar situation but thought it was worth a shot to put it out there to get thoughts.

Can you be more specific about what this “negative attitude” is? Like examples?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it worth mentioning how a coach’s negative attitude is impacting the entire team to anyone in the club organization? This is a group of 14 to 15 year-old girls and it is really hurting the team dynamic, performance and many girls are suggesting they may not come back even for the spring season. I’m not referring to constructive criticism or even making real time corrections in a game- that would actually be appreciated. It is truly a shame as this is a group of girls that really like to play. I’m not even sure what the organization would do with this point as it appears it is difficult to replace coaches. It’s just as if this man has never dealt with a teenage athlete. I’m assuming few have had success in a similar situation but thought it was worth a shot to put it out there to get thoughts.

Can you be more specific about what this “negative attitude” is? Like examples?

- 10 min lecture telling the team they played horribly after a loss. Pressuring the girls to say what each other did wrong instead of what they could do to improve.
- stays silent/fuming half the game and screaming the same words over and over the other half of a game. The girls end up tuning him out.
- putting girls down in front of the team for missing practice for other sports saying that’s why they’re so terrible re their performance, when he tells parents he encourages other sports so they can be well rounded
- Tells the girls how out of shape they are while bragging about how he played in high school for minutes on end instead of using that time to get a little extra conditioning practice in
- putting down team members behind their backs to other players, causing a rift between girls

Mind you I realize I am completely biased at this point because this has been going on for a while….

[Anonymous]

I don't have a good answer, just sympathy / empathy.

It's such a shame to realize in September/October that the coach is simply not the right fit for the team and that the team is generally unhappy.

And it's hard to know what to do in that situation. Communication often backfires since, no matter how you say it, the coach will correctly recognize it as criticism. Typically, these types of negative coaches can dish it but can't take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a good answer, just sympathy / empathy.

It's such a shame to realize in September/October that the coach is simply not the right fit for the team and that the team is generally unhappy.

And it's hard to know what to do in that situation. Communication often backfires since, no matter how you say it, the coach will correctly recognize it as criticism. Typically, these types of negative coaches can dish it but can't take it.

If you figure out how to fix it, let the rest of us know! There's a chance you can switch clubs over winter if it's bad.

We've been lucky to avoid these coaches, but I fear my kid's club has a bunch of them. At any year transition, the coach could be switched to one of these and we'd have to think about switching to a less-than-ideal other option. We have to ask "who's going to be the coach" before signing up, which is always awkward.

[Anonymous]

Most clubs have resources for anonymous feedback. You’ll never know if it’s handled or gets to the coach but it’s better than doing it here. Nobody can do a thing about it here. Which club is it?

[Anonymous]

Sounds an awful lot like a really unpopular coach we know who's recently moved clubs. Parents hated him at the old club and many hate him at the new club.

Complain. It's the only path to change. Email him while cc'ing the director of your age group with your players concerns. If he retaliates by not playing your kid or gets nasty you email just the director about it. If the club doesn't know they won't do something about it. if the club ignores you leave. Stop giving your money to a shit club that doesn't care about your player. I've heard of players being moved to different teams to get away from coaches like this and coaches being let go completely for less than what you've described, though at a slightly younger age group.

Everyone is terrified to complain for some reason. I don't get it. You are a paying customer and your player is a child. You're allowed to call toxic coaches out and ask for better. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

Been there. Unfortunately unless you can get the majority of the team's parents together and approach the director as a group, your complaining will not help and will likely make it worse for your kid. Director will not replace a coach mid season unless their behavior is egregious to the point of worrying about lawsuits. Best thing will be to start plotting your course now to a new team.

[Anonymous]

There’s a girls coach that fits this description. He’s a giant man-baby child. Yelled at 8-10 year old girls after losing their WAGS tournament final in a razor thin close game. He’s going to be in for a rude awakening at the end of the season when half the team leaves (and numbers are already thin). My advice to you is to take your dollars to another club and let the upper management know why you left. Hurting their pocketbook is the best revenge.

[Anonymous]

You should talk to the coaching director now since it is still early in the year. Don't make your daughter suffer all year with this. We have SO been there at a big club. 3 years, 3 coaches. All the same behavior. Finally the club hired a coach from another club. It is so refreshing to see what a real coach is like.

Also, if the club tells you they will "work" with the coach, it is BS. They don't. The same stuff continues. So you leave at the end of the year or earlier if you kid is miserable. But I will say one of my kids quit the sport because the coach was so bad. Just watch that it doesn't get that bad. I should have known...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it worth mentioning how a coach’s negative attitude is impacting the entire team to anyone in the club organization? This is a group of 14 to 15 year-old girls and it is really hurting the team dynamic, performance and many girls are suggesting they may not come back even for the spring season. I’m not referring to constructive criticism or even making real time corrections in a game- that would actually be appreciated. It is truly a shame as this is a group of girls that really like to play. I’m not even sure what the organization would do with this point as it appears it is difficult to replace coaches. It’s just as if this man has never dealt with a teenage athlete. I’m assuming few have had success in a similar situation but thought it was worth a shot to put it out there to get thoughts.

Which club?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a girls coach that fits this description. He’s a giant man-baby child. Yelled at 8-10 year old girls after losing their WAGS tournament final in a razor thin close game. He’s going to be in for a rude awakening at the end of the season when half the team leaves (and numbers are already thin). My advice to you is to take your dollars to another club and let the upper management know why you left. Hurting their pocketbook is the best revenge.

Which club?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should talk to the coaching director now since it is still early in the year. Don't make your daughter suffer all year with this. We have SO been there at a big club. 3 years, 3 coaches. All the same behavior. Finally the club hired a coach from another club. It is so refreshing to see what a real coach is like.

Also, if the club tells you they will "work" with the coach, it is BS. They don't. The same stuff continues. So you leave at the end of the year or earlier if you kid is miserable. But I will say one of my kids quit the sport because the coach was so bad. Just watch that it doesn't get that bad. I should have known...

Which club?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there. Unfortunately unless you can get the majority of the team's parents together and approach the director as a group, your complaining will not help and will likely make it worse for your kid. Director will not replace a coach mid season unless their behavior is egregious to the point of worrying about lawsuits. Best thing will be to start plotting your course now to a new team.

While it's true one parent complaining normally doesn't cause anything to happen and they take many complaints more serious, a coach got fired last year after a single parent complaint for what the coach said to a player at a game. The club then went and spoke to the teams, going this wasn't just an odd one off and they were let go/left mid season in the spring. So coaches do get fired miss year. It does happen.

[Anonymous]

Look into the Positive Coaching Alliance.