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My 7th grader has to be up by 6:20am. We start every day between 6-6:15 with increasing levels of light, gently talking to her. shaking her arm, tapping her face. I don’t like how it gets more and more forced, like pulling her sheets/blanket off, shaking her hand over and over, her younger sibling (who always wakes up during this process despite not needing to be up till later) will join in with taking a stuffy and bopping big sis…etc…and it is only once we can get some grunts of “Im up Im up” do they actually wake
up. I feel like it sets the day with her family “attacking” her and being on the defensive against us and I would hate to wake up that way…but also, I get up with my alarm. |
| Cold water to the face |
| alarm clock and natural consequences when they aren’t up on time. |
| Sounds like she needs to be in bed much earlier the night before. |
| 10 strokes with wet noodle to the face |
| DC 7th grader gets up at 5:25am, usually goes to bed before 9:30pm. I tell DC if people don’t get up right away they will not only be late, but also feeling tired all day long, so DC gets up right away when I call. |
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Get her an old school alarm clock (the round clock with two bells on top) and set it as far away from her bed, in her room, as possible.
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OP here, she is making concerted efforts to go to bed by 9-9:30pm, which isn’t an easy thing to start getting ready for bed by 8:30 at that age with evening activities and age.
Today we ended up driving her to school because she missed the bus. Natural consequences seem like they impact us more than her. If we made her walk, she would revolt and not go, missing a day of school as an unexcused absence (walking came up as a threat, but honestly it is over a mile and along a busy road so I don’t like it as a choice). |
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If she is really going to bed between 9-9:30, and she doesn’t have her phone or electronics up in her room, then I don’t think consequences will do anything.
Does she stay up ridiculously late on the weekends? That could be messing with her circadian rhythms. Otherwise you need to ask her to help you figure it out. What does she see as a solution? |
She needs to wake up with the first alarm. As in physically get out of bed and move around upright. If she doesn’t, she loses her phone the entire day until the next morning, only getting it back when she wakes up and gets out of bed with her alarm. Do this every time she fails to wake up. She can’t handle snoozing. One alarm and up. |
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Natural consequences be damned. I told my 7th grader ‘if you miss the bus, you lose your phone, so what time do you need to be up by to make it?’ She said 625, so I give her one morning announcement ‘Larla, it’s 625’.
She needs to take ownership of this with impactful consequences. |
| You are being WAY too nice, with the low light and gently waking her up. She needs 2 alarms with one located across the room. |
| The alarm that gradually turns on a brighter light in advance of the alarm time has been helpful for my teen. |
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6:20am start means 8:30pm bedtime. Anything less is harming her health.
Why is the start so early? |
| An alarm clock is a health alarm. Every day the alarm wakes a person, that's a little bit brain damage from poor sleep. |