Would you avoid an August birthday if possible?

[Anonymous]

I’m doing a frozen embryo transfer, so we can choose the date.

On the one hand, I have been waiting so long and we don’t know if it will work, so I’m inclined to transfer as soon as possible (Nov).

On the other hand, an August birthday means that I am “holding them back” for school.

You had better believe that I would never send a child 2 weeks from the cut-off!

Should I just transfer in December and avoid the controversy?

[Anonymous]

how old are you?

[Anonymous]

We sent ours on time with an aug 31 birthday

[Anonymous]

I would not avoid an August birthday. This doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of August birthdays who went on time. But hold back if you want to. I'm not sure it really matters. Sounds like if you're doing IVF and you've been waiting so long that a summer birthday is the least of your concerns?

[Anonymous]

No, we have a September kid who went and turned five the first week of school. They are fine, really... in all advanced classes, gets top grades.

[Anonymous]

Not a controversy. You’re being dramatic.

My August birthday DD went on time and she’s done great. If my DS1 or 2 had been born I. August, I may have chosen to hold them back. We know plenty of summer-born kids in both scenarios, and they’re all doing just fine!

[Anonymous]

Sure, but I really had no choice with my timing. I'm due around Thanksgiving which I absolutely would not choose. With 3 years of losses I'm just thankful for a live baby.

[Anonymous]

I held back my Aug birthday boys and it’s been fine. There are plenty of other late summer birthday kids who were also held back. Plus it’s nice in a way to have a summer birthday as a kid because then you get your birthday presents not too close to Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Mother of IVF twins born in late August. Depending on your age and how confident you are that the transfer will be successful, I would vote for avoiding an August birthday. Sure, plenty of kids with August birthdays do fine, while others get held back. It might work out fine, but if you don't hold back, it can be hard always being the youngest in a grade (especially in schools or areas where redshirting is common).

Whenever someone tells you how great their young for their grade kid is doing, ask how old their kid is. There are decided disadvantages to being the youngest in the grade, some of which aren't apparent until a kid is older. For example, in Maryland, you can't get a driver's license until you are 16 years and 6 months old. That means that if you complete your driving requirements and get your license the first day you are eligible, the earliest you can drive is February of junior year. That gives kids only two summers as drivers before college and means that you will be driving them around for much longer. There are also jobs and education programs that require a minimum age of 16, which again, limits opportunities for summers during high school. If given a choice, I would not opt for an August birthday. My kids turned out fine, but I regret not holding at least one of them back.

[Anonymous]

I would wait! Why not. You have to go through all of this so you may as well. That said a late August birthday can most likely be redshirted.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t even met the kid yet. Transfer when you want. Worry about kindergarten in 4 years. No one is going to GAF if you redshirt.

I’m sure IVF is really stressful but you seem like a basket case.

[Anonymous]

I would avoid it simply because this is something you obviously care about and have strong opinions about. I have a kid with an August bday who went on time and has done great and we are a-ok with her being the youngest in her class. No issues.

But if you are already in your head about this then just avoid it sinc you have the option. No one wants to hear you going on and on about redshirting for the next 19 years. Just have your kid in December or January and spare us.

[Anonymous]

Public kindergarten has gotten really hard. If you have the means to send your kid to a private, play-based kindergarten, August is no problem. But a public school kindergarten as the youngest...yeesh. The kids are expected to be able to write letters and numbers and sit quietly and color in the lines, follow all classroom routines, etc from the very first day.

I'm sure some of it comes down to personality and preschool preparedness, but IMHO the summer kids look so tiny next to the "just after the cut-off" September kids.

I guess I don't really have any solid advice, just grateful to have the kid I have after a lot of struggle, so I also understand how sometimes you just go for it and trust that you'll figure the rest out later.

[Anonymous]

My August bday kid just graduated from Cornell and earns more than I do! Some studies say long term the younger kids do better...