Having kids in your 40s

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both 41. I have a 15 year old from a previous relationship, he doesn’t have children. He thinks he will regret it later in life if we don’t have one. I thought i was done with ine child, always wanted more but went through a divorce and then didnt meet current dh til 2 years ago. Im open to the idea but scared of what this would mean. One not even sure i can conceive at this age, but let’s say i could: a baby in your 40’s is really hard, i love my current flexibility, traveling when we can and freedom when our teen finishes highschool in 2 years. This would be a complete change and though i would also be sad for dh if he never gets to be a dad, i want a reality check and understand pros/cons or anyone who’se done this

[Anonymous]

I have an only that I had at age 41. She's now looking at colleges. She's the best thing that ever happened to us. I had no trouble conceiving. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Kids at that age are fine if you have a great partner.

[Anonymous]

I did IVF for my first, they were born the day after I turned 41

My second was a surprise baby and they were born the year I turned 42

I am now 55 with a 12 and 14 year old. ; )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did IVF for my first, they were born the day after I turned 41

My second was a surprise baby and they were born the year I turned 42

I am now 55 with a 12 and 14 year old. ; )

How do you feel energy wise with teens at that age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did IVF for my first, they were born the day after I turned 41

My second was a surprise baby and they were born the year I turned 42

I am now 55 with a 12 and 14 year old. ; )

How do you feel energy wise with teens at that age?

I am a different poster. I am 53 with 13 year-old twin boys. They definitely keep me young. They are very sporty, so I have been doing more and more sports as I age and as they get bigger and stronger: swimming, cross country skiing, biking, and triathlons. We do many activities together on the weekends. I am loving this phase of our lives!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP - similar to me. I have a 14 year old and another child with my current husband at 39. Starting at 36 I had multiple miscarriages and lost all pregnancies both natural and IVF. I had to go to a specialist to stay pregnant and this pregnancy is consider ultra high risk due to all the complications I'm having. It's much harder than before. I wanted this child, so I'm doing it to myself but it's been the worst 3 years of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only that I had at age 41. She's now looking at colleges. She's the best thing that ever happened to us. I had no trouble conceiving. Go for it!

But you didn't have a 15 year old. I would say no because the gap is too big and your son may feel left out.

[Anonymous]

If you do have a baby, do it because you want one, not because DH wants one.

If YOU want one and are able to conceive, of course you won’t regret it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are both 41. I have a 15 year old from a previous relationship, he doesn’t have children. He thinks he will regret it later in life if we don’t have one. I thought i was done with ine child, always wanted more but went through a divorce and then didnt meet current dh til 2 years ago. Im open to the idea but scared of what this would mean. One not even sure i can conceive at this age, but let’s say i could: a baby in your 40’s is really hard, i love my current flexibility, traveling when we can and freedom when our teen finishes highschool in 2 years. This would be a complete change and though i would also be sad for dh if he never gets to be a dad, i want a reality check and understand pros/cons or anyone who’se done this

Very similar story. I'm 41 with a 15yo. Just broke off an engagement with someone without kids because it's getting more difficult to imagine starting over. However, autism ran in his family and the fear of starting over with a special needs kid was a real concern for me. You're already married and if you believe he would be great to coparent with, I'd probably go for it and maybe give yourself a timeline to try. I had concerns of us growing apart.

My teen is so helpful and independent now, so I understand.

[Anonymous]

Your 40s are an ideal time to have a baby. More money, more patience, more stability. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[Anonymous]

Dangerous geriatric pregnancy risks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous geriatric pregnancy risks

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are both 41. I have a 15 year old from a previous relationship, he doesn’t have children. He thinks he will regret it later in life if we don’t have one. I thought i was done with ine child, always wanted more but went through a divorce and then didnt meet current dh til 2 years ago. Im open to the idea but scared of what this would mean. One not even sure i can conceive at this age, but let’s say i could: a baby in your 40’s is really hard, i love my current flexibility, traveling when we can and freedom when our teen finishes highschool in 2 years. This would be a complete change and though i would also be sad for dh if he never gets to be a dad, i want a reality check and understand pros/cons or anyone who’se done this

Very similar story. I'm 41 with a 15yo. Just broke off an engagement with someone without kids because it's getting more difficult to imagine starting over. However, autism ran in his family and the fear of starting over with a special needs kid was a real concern for me. You're already married and if you believe he would be great to coparent with, I'd probably go for it and maybe give yourself a timeline to try. I had concerns of us growing apart.

My teen is so helpful and independent now, so I understand.

Are you open to more kids?

[Anonymous]

Think your question is very different than people having first kid at 40....I spent my 20s and 30s with freedom and travel and am totally content to be done with that phase ( not that I'll never travel again but annual trips to Europe or Asia are no longer part of my life)