Teen girl horrible behavior

[Anonymous]

So. My teen DD is a wonderful student, kind friend, and responsible kid. Great 98 percent of the time. The other 2 percent is directed toward me, her mom, and it is awful. She doesn’t curse but name calling, locked me out of the house, took my phone and car keys, that kind of thing, when she gets angry at something. Will block my path if I try to leave. She has no phone by her choice so no phone to take away. In these moments logic doesn’t work. I’m at a loss. It MUST stop.
Any therapists out there with advice?

[Anonymous]

I would take her to a mental health professional. The extremeness of the behaviors and only 2% of the time suggests something medical.

[Anonymous]

Yes, something medical is likely triggering this. Start by going back to what you can remember about these incidents previously. Write down the date, the time of day, what she might have eaten or had to drink (to rule out allergic reactions, which can manifest like this in rare cases), what you think she was upset by, what happened, and how you responded. Now look for patterns.

Does it appear that she was set off by being told she could not have a physical item, not allowed to go somewhere, trying to avoid something? How long did the episodes last? Put this in chart form so a doctor or or other provider can easily understand it.

Now sit down with your daughter and start by saying what a great kid she is etc. Then say you are trying to understand what happens when she gets so angry. Ask her to go back and think about one of these instances from the past. Don’t pick something from yesterday that might set her off again. You can tell her about a time you got angry at your own parent at her age, and what you thought and felt at the time. It’s okay to make it up a little to try to help her in the long run. Then ask her to roll back the tape to review the incident.

If you try to just listen and not counter what she says, you might get some information to help you understand what is happening. You should tell her that you are trying to be a good parent and you need some help understanding, but also be clear about what family rules entail and that there will be consequences.

Could these be hormonal? Look at the pattern of dates. Then take this written history to a doctor. She may need help to manage hormonal fluctuations.

[Anonymous]

That’s horrifying. My son did these things. Mental health issues, and it will escalate if you do nothing. GET HELP now.
Even if you just call Crisis Intervention. This is abuse.

[Anonymous]

What does Crisis Intervention do?

[Anonymous]

I don't know DD same age and her teachers all tell me comfort at home and with parents leads to nightmare behaviors. Only you can judge it but I had a teacher tell me her kid used the F work with her and my DD is like the devil with me and DH. Nobody else would ever guess but it's hormones and comfort level of being as bad as they want with you. Honestly there is nothing wrong with her behavior except how awful it is. Some of it is her disrespecting us but that's on us. It's less a mental problem that she needs therapy and more a we did not parent her wisely enough she thinks she can crap on us problem!!!!

[Anonymous]

But yeah physically blocking your path v verbally using curse words might be a red flag..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take her to a mental health professional. The extremeness of the behaviors and only 2% of the time suggests something medical.

No, it suggests the opposite - that she can control it.

[Anonymous]

Is it 2% of the time generally but like 90% of the time with you? Or 2% of the time with you? It may be that you’re the only one that sets real boundaries with her.

I think you need a therapist that can do some level of family therapy with both of you so that she understands that this is not an okay way to treat another person (or even a dog, really!) and that she needs better ways of dealing with conflict and friuatratoon. If just her goes to therapy it might not be effective because therapist may just validate her feelings without moving her to address the response.

[Anonymous]

What are the triggers for this kind of behavior? What is she angry about (at least on the surface)

[Anonymous]

Did she have strep recently (in the past couple of months)?

[Anonymous]

Do you suspect any kind of drug use?

[Anonymous]

Ok went over patterns. It is… blood sugar crash! It’s every time she has just a donut or chocolate muffin for breakfast. Literally. And yes just 2 percent even with me. It just seems extreme but the pattern is very helpful. I guess that plus hormones is the winner here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok went over patterns. It is… blood sugar crash! It’s every time she has just a donut or chocolate muffin for breakfast. Literally. And yes just 2 percent even with me. It just seems extreme but the pattern is very helpful. I guess that plus hormones is the winner here.

I’m sorry but stealing car keys and locking you out of the house is more than just a “sugar crash.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does Crisis Intervention do?

They can give advice, listen, suggest solutions, help you find resources and treatment. Free, 24 hours a day.