What do you prioritze in ES aged kids?

[Anonymous]

DS9 gets good grade at school without trying. Public school teachers are probably overburned. I rarely see him working on homework, reading or anything academic related at home. All he does is play at school and play at home with tons of screentime. His math and reading/writing are above age level. He does recreational sports in soccer in fall/spring and swimming all seasons. He never practices, but he just enjoy taking classes/playing with other kids. I hate exercise, so I am not a good model. He has some shining strength, but he does not want to work on it or go further on any interests. I want him to work on independence/maturity/social skill, he acts like 1-2 years younger. Social skill is my weakness, I don't know how to work with it

He is happy and silly. I think he gets to the age that he could start to learn something instead of just pure playing. Should I priortize strengthening academic, practices on sports or social skill/independences at this age 9 boy? If you can pick one, which one and how?

[Anonymous]

I'll prioritize mental health, good sleep, nutritious food, outdoor play time, attending school, reading paper books, doing some educational activities on screen, some ball sport and happy time with family.

[Anonymous]

I prioritize social skills/EQ and life skills. Those can go a lot further especially if you’re not destined to be an engineer/STEM type in the top 5 percent.

[Anonymous]

What you want is a happy, well-rounded child who has opportunities to socialize with peers, time outdoors, and is kind to others. Kids mature at different rates. His teacher will know best how he compares to kids his age, so talk to the teacher about any concerns. You don’t have to coach him along the path of growing up. He has plenty of time to develop and find his passions. He sounds fine. Good job raising such a great kid.

[Anonymous]

Being kind, being active, good school habits, trying out a lot of sports and clubs, finding good fit interests and peer groups. And family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you want is a happy, well-rounded child who has opportunities to socialize with peers, time outdoors, and is kind to others. Kids mature at different rates. His teacher will know best how he compares to kids his age, so talk to the teacher about any concerns. You don’t have to coach him along the path of growing up. He has plenty of time to develop and find his passions. He sounds fine. Good job raising such a great kid.

Did we read the same post where she says tons of screen time at home? Maybe the kid is turning out OK but no thanks to OP. To the OP I'd limit the screen time and focus in just about anything else with that time (playing by himself or with others or reading).

[Anonymous]

Looks guts and smarts is my motto

[Anonymous]

I have a similar 10 year old. I'm focusing on social skills (kindness, being polite), work ethic (from chores, because he doesn't need it for school at this point, everything is too simple), and finding ways to enjoy life without electronics (sports, friends, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar 10 year old. I'm focusing on social skills (kindness, being polite), work ethic (from chores, because he doesn't need it for school at this point, everything is too simple), and finding ways to enjoy life without electronics (sports, friends, etc).

Similar here.

I definitely don't think "too much playing" is ever a problem at this age. Playing is how kids develop their imaginations, explore how things work, socialize with others, all kinds of good stuff. I just try to make sure my kids do some of their playing outdoors every day.

[Anonymous]

Social skills, friendships, play dates, and simply being outside seeing how the world turns.
Enjoying outside time, math, and minimum interference for our child.

[Anonymous]

The latest fashion. Making sure my DS is on the elite soccer clubs etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The latest fashion. Making sure my DS is on the elite soccer clubs etc

+1 Also engineering his social life.

[Anonymous]

I prioritize keeping them off screens. Everything else is kind of secondary.

And those priorities kind of vary based on kid and what he needs. We did supplement at home when they were at a school that didn't teach much. Good at school without trying implies IMHO that you should probably spend at least a little time on math/writing/reading/history/etc.

Acting younger is not necessarily a problem, it depends on what you mean by that. Younger, in the sense of being badly behaved is a problem. Younger, in the sense of being nine and still liking Paw Patrol, is not.

[Anonymous]

Get him off screens, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you want is a happy, well-rounded child who has opportunities to socialize with peers, time outdoors, and is kind to others. Kids mature at different rates. His teacher will know best how he compares to kids his age, so talk to the teacher about any concerns. You don’t have to coach him along the path of growing up. He has plenty of time to develop and find his passions. He sounds fine. Good job raising such a great kid.

I agree with the priorities list here - balance is important. In order to accomplish that I don't allow much time on screens at all. After a school day, sports practice (1x per week), instrument practice (every week day when there's no lesson), reading, time with family and/or friends, and outside time there really isn't time for screens. My kids honestly don't know when other kids fit daily screen time in!