Mom talks too much

[Anonymous]

Our mom lives with my brother and SIL, she is nice and they are kind so it works well but they do get tired of her constant talking. I get tired of it just when visiting on weekends so totally understandable how tough it must be for them. How can I tell mom to change? She isn't picking up on our subtle hints.

[Anonymous]

You can try to tell her directly. Or find activities for her, especially if they provide transportation. Her town or county might have an office on aging. Maybe she can go to church, fitness classes, senior day programs, or volunteer. Getting her out of the house will give your brother a break.

[Anonymous]

At her age, she won't change. And it's not your issue to fix.

[Anonymous]

Encourage her to read or do crossword puzzle books.

[Anonymous]

She needs to hang out with other oldies more. They can talk each other to death.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this seems to be a thing with the elderly. I think part of it is they don't want to seem out of it, so are constantly proving they are doing well cognitively.

I would talk to your brother and SIL and ask them if they want you to say something. I wouldn't do it unless they are onboard since it could cause her to be offended, then they'll have a whole host of other problems to deal with.

PP's suggestion of finding things for her to do with other elderly would be great. But many elderly don't like hanging around with other elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to hang out with other oldies more. They can talk each other to death.

+1. You’ll miss it when it stops. Hard to imagine but it’s true.

[Anonymous]

If they do want you to say something, then I would just say younger generations are used to more quiet time. Now that you're living with son and DIL, it's great, but you need to have more quiet time.

Many people, young and old, are not comfortable being quiet when others are around.

[Anonymous]

If she is alone part of the day she may be overeager to talk when others come home. DH says I am too talky and it's for that reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is alone part of the day she may be overeager to talk when others come home. DH says I am too talky and it's for that reason.

I do this too. Before WFH, my DH would call me on the way home so I could talk the whole way home. By the time he arrived I got it all out, and we were both ready to start the evening.

OP, your mom probably really wants connection and is lonely.

[Anonymous]

They eat lunch and dinner with her and chat with her whenever possible but she is continually keep talking and nothing interesting, most stories repeated often and about her extended family ehich they have no interest in.

She is East Asian and doesn't drive or speak english so her socialization options are limited and she doesn't like socialization in her own community either.

She does FaceTime to family in other stayes and back home every day so there is some socialization.

They need time with each other and kids and friends as well, can't have her entertainment as sole focus of their lives.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't like to read, listen to music or watch movies. Family politics, national politics and religion (even though not religious at heart) are her only interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is alone part of the day she may be overeager to talk when others come home. DH says I am too talky and it's for that reason.

Everyone understands that but she isn't the only one in the house, other members have needs and wants as well.

[Anonymous]

Other than this issue, they get along very well but this is becoming a strain on otherwise great relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to hang out with other oldies more. They can talk each other to death.

+1. You’ll miss it when it stops. Hard to imagine but it’s true.

There aren't many oldies her age in their area but she does talk to her extended family on phone every day, my other two siblings also call 2-3 times a day.