Should my teen write a TY note/text to boss of his summer job?

[Anonymous]

Anyone else have a kid going through a "nonchalant" phase? Apparently at my kid's high school this is "a thing" and boys don't want to appear too eager to do anything. It's driving me nuts. I want to note he is not applying this to academics/school work but this attitude manifests mostly in the desire (or not) to communicate with people.

Example: I recently suggested he write a simple message to the guy who hired him for a summer job to thank him for the opportunity, it was a good learning experience, etc. I think it would help if he wants to work at same job next summer. The guy is also, we learned, a longtime friend of the athletic director at my kid's HS. (Job is related to the sport.)

I have been trying to teach my kid the value of personal connections/contacts but the nonchalant thing is getting in the way. When I suggested he contact the guy, he said, nah, that's doing too much.

So, do your kids write thank you notes like this? Should I try to nudge him more in that direction or let him go with his first instinct not to contact him?

Also, I think it might help if I tell him that a short text would be ok. Other than a few sessions where they met for training purposes, their communication regarding working hours, pay, etc. has been through text. So I do agree that a more formal email may be too much. And, tbh, not sure they exchanged emails at all, but we could probably find the email address if that's better.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Or an email

[Anonymous]

Yes, do a thank you note. My high school DS does this, and I think it is an excellent way to show class and respect — especially because most teenage boys have the inclination to not write a note or card.

[Anonymous]

Yes, some sort of acknowledgement.

I'm been trying to teach my kids that when you enter the adult sphere, the rules can be a little different than the environment at their school or around other kids.
So this being an actual job, he is now in the adult sphere, and thank you notes are looked upon favorably.

[Anonymous]

Was it a job with legit work like mowing lawns, dishwasher or retail? In that case no thank you note, he gave them his labor they gave him wages that's the deal. Whether he gets hired back will depend on the quality of his work.

Or was it like an internship where the job was more valuable to him than them? In that case I could see a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

^^^He worked as sports camp counselor for MS and late-ES school kids. I could see him doing it again for the next few summers. And yes I'm also thinking about his college apps and how the job ties in with his HS sport/main EC, which requires so much of his time during the school year that he barely has time for much else.

I'm leaning toward encouraging him to do a short thank you - would a text be ok since that's how they communicated for the most part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^He worked as sports camp counselor for MS and late-ES school kids. I could see him doing it again for the next few summers. And yes I'm also thinking about his college apps and how the job ties in with his HS sport/main EC, which requires so much of his time during the school year that he barely has time for much else.

I'm leaning toward encouraging him to do a short thank you - would a text be ok since that's how they communicated for the most part?

I'm usually a stickler, but in this instance, a text seems good. Have him check spelling before he hits send.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure his boss would love to hear that your son had a positive experience. It would make him happy to be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Your son is the one who knows the guy you are suggesting he text. If he says it is too much, trust his judgment. Could he be wrong? Sure. But not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things -- a thank you text isn't going to get him a rec he wouldn't have received anyway.

[Anonymous]

Is the boss going to send your child a thank-you note for being his employee? If not, then there is no need to thank him for being a boss. It's a mutually beneficial relationship, not a one-sided contribution (as in the case of giving a gift, which, of course, requires a thank-you note).

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I’ve received several thank you notes recently from that age group, and look favorably upon them. You are right. He needs to know his audience (grown adults) and cater to that.

[Anonymous]

To teach my son how it works, I will sit down with him and compose a short thank you text to his boss. Then I text my son what we composed and say all you need to do is copy and paste then send the text. That is the only way my son would do it. It helped the next summer getting a job. The boss remembered him and made some comment that he was glad to hear he liked the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son is the one who knows the guy you are suggesting he text. If he says it is too much, trust his judgment. Could he be wrong? Sure. But not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things -- a thank you text isn't going to get him a rec he wouldn't have received anyway.

So it's too much, big deal. What's the loss, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the boss going to send your child a thank-you note for being his employee? If not, then there is no need to thank him for being a boss. It's a mutually beneficial relationship, not a one-sided contribution (as in the case of giving a gift, which, of course, requires a thank-you note).

It's OK to be a classy person even to people who don't act classy to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it a job with legit work like mowing lawns, dishwasher or retail? In that case no thank you note, he gave them his labor they gave him wages that's the deal. Whether he gets hired back will depend on the quality of his work.

Or was it like an internship where the job was more valuable to him than them? In that case I could see a thank you note.

Human decency is cool even among low skill laborers.