In a dinner rut with a picky eater

[Anonymous]

I'm hoping you can help me out here. We are in a dinner rut. We tend to make the same stuff over and over again and I'm so sick of it. I will add in I have a picky PITA eater (age 7). He will eat chicken, fish, burgers and steak prepared in a simple marinade grilled or roasted. Some nights we all eat the same meal but many nights I am making him something separate. He won't eat stuff that has a sauce or is mixed together like enchiladas, chicken pot pie or a basic stir fry. He would eat pasta every night, if we let him

I realize I created some of the problem here when he was younger. You don't need to berate me on that one.

I'm looking to get out of our general rut and hoping to find recipes that will satisfy all of us.

My husband and I are both good cooks and don't have any food restrictions.

Do you have some go-to websites or cookbooks or favorite recipes to share? We have subscriptions to NYT, America's Test Kitchen and Milk Street.

Help! Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I think you should focus on put-together meals so that each person has control over what is on their plate. Most obvious example: taco bar. Or, making the protein separately from the sauces, and then letting your kid put whatever sauce (even if it's ketchup) on his food.

I used to make pasta, but would make sauce separately from the cut-up hotsmokes (or you can use loose sausage or bratwursts or italian sausages), so people could choose whether to mix the pasta with sauce, dip pasta into sauce, whether to eat sausages separately, together, or not at all. Etc.

If he's in a good mood on occasion, invite him to taste your food. Eventually he may start adding sauce to his food--or not. (Hope you don't mind that last bit, it wasn't what you asked for, but that's what worked for us.)

[Anonymous]

I don't have a recipe suggestion, there is something I do when I don't have the energy to deal with pickiness. Whatever the meal is, I'll separate some of the protein or carb before I add in the sauce or spice. That way I'm not making an entirely separate meal, and my kids something that is similar to what we're eating. Sometimes it's just the younger one bc my older kid can take some spice.

Chicken pot pie - cook the chicken and reserve a portion before you add the sauce and veggies. If there are veggies he'll eat, then reserve those on the side too.

For stir fry, same thing - saute the meat and put some aside for him. Serve with rice or a quick-heat noodle.

If he likes the simplified version of something, encourage him to taste the "real" stuff from your plate too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should focus on put-together meals so that each person has control over what is on their plate. Most obvious example: taco bar. Or, making the protein separately from the sauces, and then letting your kid put whatever sauce (even if it's ketchup) on his food.

I used to make pasta, but would make sauce separately from the cut-up hotsmokes (or you can use loose sausage or bratwursts or italian sausages), so people could choose whether to mix the pasta with sauce, dip pasta into sauce, whether to eat sausages separately, together, or not at all. Etc.

If he's in a good mood on occasion, invite him to taste your food. Eventually he may start adding sauce to his food--or not. (Hope you don't mind that last bit, it wasn't what you asked for, but that's what worked for us.)

This is what we do. It’s not perfect but it makes life easier. And we’ve gotten him to try more foods this way.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn’t feel bad. I did everything “right” and have a picky teen.

Like others have said, I’d accommodate to an extent. I like stew, soup, casserole type meals also but it sounds like that’s what your kid doesn’t want.

You seem like you can do simple proteins with veg and carb and there are a lot of variations, look at sheet plan meals.

I think the meals you can deconstruct are also good - pasta bar, baked potato bar, taco bar, fajitas, homemade pizza, calzones or quesadillas with different ingredients based on preference.

[Anonymous]

Understand completely, OP!

Agree with what others are suggesting. Also, now that mine is late mid-teens, I am trying hard to just not worry about accommodating so much and eating healthier for myself and husband (and therefore kids, too)...trying to set better examples and take focus and tension around food away. Also, since my very limited palate picky eater manages to survive two months elsewhere during the summer on whatever the food served that day is, I know they can do the same back home if they really want or need to. That said, it's still very difficult NOT to consider their likes and dislikes and make accommodations. Just trying to do so much less often.

Bigger problem is the food available to them to pack for school lunches, which dictates my dinner planning around what leftovers they will actually eat and help ensure there is something for them to take for lunch. This is why we have pasta and pizza so frequently. But I can't keep eating that way - and my kids need to learn to eat more healthfully.

Sorry this isn't helpful. Just want to let you know you're not alone and suggest trying not to worry about accommodating every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Understand completely, OP!

Agree with what others are suggesting. Also, now that mine is late mid-teens, I am trying hard to just not worry about accommodating so much and eating healthier for myself and husband (and therefore kids, too)...trying to set better examples and take focus and tension around food away. Also, since my very limited palate picky eater manages to survive two months elsewhere during the summer on whatever the food served that day is, I know they can do the same back home if they really want or need to. That said, it's still very difficult NOT to consider their likes and dislikes and make accommodations. Just trying to do so much less often.

Bigger problem is the food available to them to pack for school lunches, which dictates my dinner planning around what leftovers they will actually eat and help ensure there is something for them to take for lunch. This is why we have pasta and pizza so frequently. But I can't keep eating that way - and my kids need to learn to eat more healthfully.

Sorry this isn't helpful. Just want to let you know you're not alone and suggest trying not to worry about accommodating every day.

PS: And ignore the sighs and rolling eyes in response to "what's for dinner" as much as humanly possibly without a thought!

[Anonymous]

I rely a lot on “sheet pan dinners” where the protein, veg and sometimes carb (ie sweet potato or butternut squash) goes on the sheet pan and roasts around the same amount time.

For this you can adjust easily for your kiddo. You and your dh has a nice piece of salmon and your kid has his marinated chicken. You like cauliflower but your kid doesn’t? Throw some green beans on for him, or whatever he’ll eat. Some things may have to come out of the oven earlier, but I just scoop them out with tongs and put it aside until the rest is done.

Look up sheet pan dinners and there’s a ton of ideas.

[Anonymous]

Deconstructed food. I did this for years with my kids. It gets them accustomed to the flavors and you aren’t cooking separate meals.

So if I cook chicken gyros, DH and I get gyros, with all the fixings. But my kids would get the chicken, basmati rice, and some green beans.

Stop making separate meals. Just let him know this is what the family is eating, and he can partake or not. Make sure there is always something he will eat, just to ensure he isn’t hungry.

[Anonymous]

I just made my picky eater separate meals and kept things on hand that were simple to make for him. He's almost 17 now---still picky, but over time has gotten less so. In his tween/early teen years, I started teaching him to make some of the things he likes.

I won't berate you. I decided very early on that his pickiness was not a hill to die on. I don't eat when I'm not hungry, nor do I eat things that don't appeal to me . . . why should he? His diet was balanced enough, if not particularly varied, flavorful, or adventurous.

[Anonymous]

Stop making separate meals for the child. Kids will never develop a palate or an appreciation for good food if they're given chicken nuggets or other plain food every day. And now you have a behavioral problem too. Cook good, nutritious meals with a lot of variety. And tell the kid that's it. No kid is going to choose to starve to death. And you need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a tiresome power struggle. Plus you're not doing your kid any favors. No one wants to date or be friends or even colleagues with a picky eater with the palate of a toddler.

[Anonymous]

First, I want to say that I completely understand. I had a picky eater, but now he eats nearly everything. It took awhile. We tried everything, but what is important is to realize that it’s not a disciplinary issue. My son had control issues, related to stress and we didn’t see it at first. We actually sent him to a food therapist, who helped us understand his issues and helped us get him on the right track.

Here is how we handled it: We made what we wanted for dinner, but we always had on hand something we knew he liked (like mac and cheese or egg noodles). He could choose to eat what we made, or he could choose to eat the things we had on hand. He usually chose what we had on hand, but the he got bored with it and started trying new things (i.e., what we made for dinner). It worked.

[Anonymous]

My picky eater is 12. He doesn’t choose to be picky. He simply cannot eat different foods. My other kids are very relaxed when it comes to food.

We’ve run the gamut when it comes to dealing with it. From “he eats what is served” and that’s that to making him a completely separate meal. We’re sorta hybrid now. It’s mostly he needs to eat what is served but if I know that what I’m cooking is an absolute no go (like lasagna), I’ll make a pot of rice and pull out leftover rotisserie chicken or something.

[Anonymous]

Does he eat fruits and vegetables?
I think nutrition and overall health is more important than everyone eating the exact same meal.
We’ll have the same protein as DD but she doesn’t like lettuce or dressings so won’t eat salad. I cut up tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots for her though and she eats those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rely a lot on “sheet pan dinners” where the protein, veg and sometimes carb (ie sweet potato or butternut squash) goes on the sheet pan and roasts around the same amount time.

For this you can adjust easily for your kiddo. You and your dh has a nice piece of salmon and your kid has his marinated chicken. You like cauliflower but your kid doesn’t? Throw some green beans on for him, or whatever he’ll eat. Some things may have to come out of the oven earlier, but I just scoop them out with tongs and put it aside until the rest is done.

Look up sheet pan dinners and there’s a ton of ideas.

Sheet pan dinners would also be my suggestion.

Have you had him help cook much, or be in charge of meal planning by looking through recipes yet? My kids were willing to eat more variety if they were part of the prep.