Elder Parent Attempted Suicide - Resources and Recs?
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Anonymous
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This may not be the right place but kind responses only please.
My mother just attempted suicide and is currently in the hospital. What initial steps, resources, or general recommendations does this community have, if any? Also - if there is anything you _don’t_ recommend, I welcome that too. I am not religious and will be finding a good therapist. This came out of the blue. I have hours to wait in the hospital and welcome feedback. |
Anonymous
| Even simple but informed recs on other best online resources would be great - but please not bother if it’s just based on a quick google search. I can do that. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry. Without knowing the root causes, it’s hard to give you guidance. I’d start with a social worker at the hospital. She may be transferred to a psychiatric facility if it’s deemed she’s a risk to herself after being discharged. Or she may willingly want to go and receive help.
You can also text 988 or 741-741. They can guide you to resources. Even though you aren’t suicidal, this is a crisis they are prepared to help you with. |
Anonymous
| When my mother became suicidal I took her to the emergency room and then convinced the doctor to recommend an involuntary inpatient psychiatric hold. I believe she was there for a few days on suicide watch and came home with a prescription for anti depressants. No real help getting us set up with an actual long-term psychiatrist and was very hard to get an appt but eventually we did. The antidepressants started to work and my mother decided to move back to her own home out of state. The psychiatrist she went to there recommended electroconvulsive therapy which terrified me as my mother was over 80 but I have to say that even after the first session she was very notably improved. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry OP.
I have no idea if this applies to your situation, but my elderly mom has a terminal illness and has talked about wanting to control her end. I just mention it as a possibility, in addition to other possibilities like depression. |
Anonymous
| Be her advocate every step of the way. I was suicidal and tried to commit. I checked myself into the emergency room and I was on suicide watch in the mental ward. I was drugged beyond belief. I had no clue to the things I was saying or consenting to. They kept giving drugs and apparently I signed for everything, while drugged. It was very scary. Once I was in, I couldn’t get out. Stay on top of the doctors and every step of the way. When it comes to your mother, let her lead and you support. |
Anonymous
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Start with the social worker at the hospital and also her mental health team if she's being followed by one there. They will have resources for you.
Do you know if she is being transferred to a psych facility or a gero-psych facility? You'll also have to think about discharge plans. Does she live alone or with your dad? Does she live with you? Does she live in an assisted living type facility who may say she's no longer appropriate for them? Do you have healthcare proxy set up with her? Do you have permission to speak with her regular doctor? |
Anonymous
| My mother used to phone me in the middle of the night telling me I had to fly her to Switzerland to Dignitas. She had terminal cancer and wanted to control the narrative / was afraid of the end. But she went very peacefully in hospice with loved ones around her. Sometimes it is just the fear of what might happen that makes them do this kind of thing. |
Anonymous
| How old and in what manner was the attempt? Though their judgement may be off, for many elders. being empowered is more important than anything else. |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry OP. I know there are geriatric psychiatrist that can help with this sort of thing. If you’re comfortable sharing what’s the backstory? Is she healthy and is this due to depression or is she trying to escape a diagnosis or medical condition? |
Anonymous
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I am so sorry OP. I am sure this is tough on you. As others mentioned, it would be helpful to know more information about her health status, etc.
My grandmother did every treatment and as another poster here mentioned, elector-convulsive therapy helped the most. Another topic came up here which is important-I do think our country needs to revisit letting elders be empowered to decide how they pass away if they so chose. I have been through angry/combative dementia, Alzheimers and cancer with parents and/or inlaws and I really want the right to be able to die peacefully in my sleep when I chose as an elder. That truly is death with dignity for me at least. |
Anonymous
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I am sorry.
If it's a death with dignity matter it's still very hard. If depression, hard too. |
Anonymous
| This is prob a wildly unpopular take but I think it sucks that we can’t let people make this choice. I am personally setting money aside for Switzerland trip for when I decide enough is enough. Therapy is a great option but so is entertaining the idea that she may just feel like it’s time. I know I would find it super hard and my kids will probably too but I wish we would normalize in society a world where someone can choose to end their own suffering if they want to |
Anonymous
I agree with you 100% as does my mom. When she decides enough is enough - I’ll support her choice. |
Anonymous
Just curious. In situations like this, do you believe there is a difference between mental and physical suffering? |