Ladies: life before you met your husband

[Anonymous]

Hello, I’m having a difficult time dating. I’m not seeing any long term potential with the guys that I’m dating and honestly I’d rather remain single.

I’m looking for stories on how your single life went before you met your husband.
How’d you know he was “the one”?

[Anonymous]

Single life was fabulous. Count your lucky stars and take your time. Marriage is long.

[Anonymous]

It was very short and filled with college. I met my husband when I was 19. I do not regret getting married early.

[Anonymous]

I was always the kind of person who had one best friend. I really like being married.

I do miss my one bedroom apartment. It was so cute, and it took two hours a week to clean my whole apartment and do all of my laundry. Now I’m married with four kids who are tweens and teens and cooking, cleaning, and laundry are most of my life outside work.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my husband since I was 23. Don’t miss the single life at all. He and I do a lot together, but we also have our own friends, interests and hobbies. We are almost empty nesters 🤞🏻 and I’m very glad he’s the one I’m doing life with!

[Anonymous]

My life was much better before I met my now ex husband. Biggest mistake of my life getting married. I with I had stayed single. They decade long marriage ruined my life, including my career trajectory.

[Anonymous]

I was traveling. Different countries. Living overseas. Working odd jobs to fund it. Didn’t even own a phone or computer. Very freelance.

[Anonymous]

I was an awesome single woman. Didn't meet exDH until 27. I joined the Peace Corps, lived in San Francisco and really took advantage of the city from concerts to walking everywhere to going to bookstore talks and art galleries, joining random protests, hiking club.

I always wanted kids and got that but came at a price of a bad husband. I have the best kids though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I’m having a difficult time dating. I’m not seeing any long term potential with the guys that I’m dating and honestly I’d rather remain single.

I’m looking for stories on how your single life went before you met your husband.
How’d you know he was “the one”?

I traveled the world, living and working for NGOs in different countries. I did several degrees. I lived in amazing cities and made lifelong friends.

I was not sure my now exH was the one. I decided to settle down at 30 because 1) I loved him deeply and 2) we both wanted a family. I was ambivalent about it, but I knew I wanted kids and it was time. The anger issues he had turned out 15 years later in midlife to be a sign of underlying mental health issues that broke our marriage. The kids are amazing, though.

[Anonymous]

I was still in my previous relationship when I met DH. He wasn't the reason we broke up (things were already headed that way) but the contrast between the two was striking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I’m having a difficult time dating. I’m not seeing any long term potential with the guys that I’m dating and honestly I’d rather remain single.

I’m looking for stories on how your single life went before you met your husband.
How’d you know he was “the one”?

I traveled the world, living and working for NGOs in different countries. I did several degrees. I lived in amazing cities and made lifelong friends.

I was not sure my now exH was the one. I decided to settle down at 30 because 1) I loved him deeply and 2) we both wanted a family. I was ambivalent about it, but I knew I wanted kids and it was time. The anger issues he had turned out 15 years later in midlife to be a sign of underlying mental health issues that broke our marriage. The kids are amazing, though.

Did he have anger issues at the time you met, or are you saying they develops 15 years later?

[Anonymous]

I used to travel a lot, go to a lot of restaurants, bars, clubs, parties, had a lot of friends. Then I got married in my early 30s to a man I thought had a lot in common with, including that we were both ready to settle down and have kids. We have great kids, we are divorced, and I finally got the therapy that I needed 20 years ago when I let my biological clock select a husband for me.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t know he was the one. I thought my college boyfriend was the one. My college boyfriend decided he preferred someone else, so I found a second The One.
With my DH, we met when I was 26 and married when I was 30. I was going out, but ready to settle down and I wanted a family. DH was kind to me (something I wasn’t used to), considerate and we have very similar values. It kept working and I kept going with it because I couldn’t find anything wrong.
Married 17 years with 2 kids and I still keep going with it because I am comfortable and pretty happy.

[Anonymous]

It was amazing and if it weren’t for biology, I would have loved to do it for another 10 years. I’m hoping to be lucky enough to have some sort of 2.0 version when kids are launched (DH can stay).

[Anonymous]

I was a late starter when it came to relationships plus I was very academic and career focused so I can’t say I was a YOLO type person by any stretch. I had three BFs before DH but nothing was intense, more for fun and sex. I met my DH at work and we were very good work friends for two years before the fun really began. We got married a year later and we waited five years before having children and those years were a lot of fun. Life is still great 30 years later.