My parents moved overseas in their early 60s and have been living as expats. They love it and don’t want to come back to the US until they’re ready to move into a continuing care facility. What age does this typically happen? I’m concerned that they may leave it too long and not be able to manage an international relocation on their own. They’re currently healthy, but I know declines can happen quickly. |
I went to look at a bunch with my parents. They deemed everyone too old. They are 78. |
I think early 70's will feel too young. PP said parents were 78 and I would think it was good to look at that age. Know what's out there. After 80, at least for me, I hope to have a plan in place. |
Older people are *always* shocked at how old other people look, even their sane age. |
80
For those that say everyone is too old, I doubt you saw everyone. |
80 seems really old to bet on your ability to manage everything with moving continents yourself, but maybe I’m off base. Wdyt?
-op |
I dunno, I believe you have to move into those places long before you need them and early enough to allow you to settle and get used to things. |
You're right but I'm being your parents won't believe you if you tell them. At a minimum, they should pick a place, get on the waiting list, and come up with a plan for the move -- will they be shipping everything over or starting from scratch? Where will they be getting medical care? What will they do for transportation? A CCRC (a more common term than CCF, and if you're googling, try "life plan community") is a great choice, but the good ones are expensive because they have big staffs. So a lot of people want/need to delay as long as possible. |
My mom moved in last year at 85. Independent living. She was just tired of living alone and caring for a house. She's also going blind (slowly). It was her idea. |
My parents moved at 80. They were active and in independent living. Dad died within 2 years. Things can change very quickly at 80. They moved at the perfect time. Mom has made many friends and they could give her wonderful support during tough times. |
This. Move in prior to “having to.” This gives them time to adjust, settle in, make new friends, and prepares them for “what’s next.” If your dad had died prior to them moving in, it would have thrust your mom into a much more complicated and difficult situation. |
This. At 80, my parents were fine - hiking, biking and other outdoor activities. At 82, dad started to lose it cognitively. At 84, my mom is his caretaker. And they insist on staying where they are. With they had moved 2.5 years ago |
My mom moved in at 75 and loved it. Said it was like living on a college campus without the stress of grades. She loved all the activities, classes and interesting people. Yes, some seemed old, but many were similar to her. She has now moved to assisted living and had a short stay in skilled care. Each situation was made easier b/c she is familiar with the campus and has had friends to visit her. From assisted living she still attends some of the lectures, concerts and classes she did in independent living, but needs a little more help to get to. We were glad she moved in early enough to develop community and felt it made the buy in amount worth it. |
pp, around here? want to suggest the place? |
I've been looking into it for my parents and it looks like late 70s is when many move in. I would suggest getting them onto a couple wait lists for places they like. The one near me lets you stay on the list indefinitely. Must be a real PITA when a new unit is available and they have to call 500 people on the wait list, but I think it's worthwhile to be prepared and near the top of a list for when the time comes.
As for making the long flight back to the US, well that's anyone's guess. It could be a fall or a stroke that brings them back, and there's no predicting that. It's up to them to choose their risk tolerance. It sounds like they have the funds, so coming home in first class doesn't sound too horrible. |