My 27 year old daughter has no life

[Anonymous]

No friends or SO, never goes out, just stays home. It makes me sad for her.

[Anonymous]

Is she sad for herself? Or is she content and just making different choices than you would?

[Anonymous]

Does she have friends at her job?

[Anonymous]

My father used to yell at me that I had no friends and would yell "get a life!" I just had different interests than him and he couldn't understand that. Meanwhile I wrote a research paper about a topic I'd seen on MTV (something he disapproved of) and got told to try to get it published and I did.

Meanwhile he sat in our basement for two hours each weeknight and for hours on the weekend playing video games. He saw friends maybe twice a year. So really, wasn't I just following his example?

Leave your daughter alone. She'll figure herself out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No friends or SO, never goes out, just stays home. It makes me sad for her.

Was she like this as a teen or early 20s?

any diagnoses?

[Anonymous]

Can you go out with her?

[Anonymous]

Oh my lord, MYOB!

[Anonymous]

She needs to get a job and move out.
She will never thrive and become a full adult in your home

[Anonymous]

My mother always had this attitude toward me. She didn't understand what being an introvert meant. Unless your daughter is depressed, her life is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No friends or SO, never goes out, just stays home. It makes me sad for her.

Is she living in your house or on her own?

[Anonymous]

If she does work, is she in house or remote? Can she afford to live out of your house? Kids living at home, as well as the parent, revert to a highs school dynamic. For example, you cooking, telling them to clean up their room, etc.

[Anonymous]

Read the book “Quiet,” learn about introverts, and look in the mirror as you reflect on how annoying you are by thinking that your way of existing is the only and best way.

Maybe she’s permanently exhausted by her pushy extrovert mother who doesn’t understand the joys of books, having deep friendships instead of superficial ones, and companionable silence instead of constant chatter.

[Anonymous]

No one said this was being an introvert.

The op would not have written 27 years later concerned that a loved one has quit on life, stays home, has no friends, if that was the consistent pattern for 27 years.

What changed? What was the catalyst for this isolation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father used to yell at me that I had no friends and would yell "get a life!" I just had different interests than him and he couldn't understand that. Meanwhile I wrote a research paper about a topic I'd seen on MTV (something he disapproved of) and got told to try to get it published and I did.

Meanwhile he sat in our basement for two hours each weeknight and for hours on the weekend playing video games. He saw friends maybe twice a year. So really, wasn't I just following his example?

Leave your daughter alone. She'll figure herself out.

He probably didn’t want you to turn out like himself. He wanted you to reach your full potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the book “Quiet,” learn about introverts, and look in the mirror as you reflect on how annoying you are by thinking that your way of existing is the only and best way.

Maybe she’s permanently exhausted by her pushy extrovert mother who doesn’t understand the joys of books, having deep friendships instead of superficial ones, and companionable silence instead of constant chatter.

I'm an introvert but still did things and had a life at 27. Just needed more alone time to recharge. Think it's more common now for 20 somethings to not have much of a life and wanting to be in bed by 9pm. Maybe impacts from the pandemic? I think it's a bit sad but if they're happy with it who cares. I would only be concerned about the daughter if it's the result of depression or something.