Time with boyfriend/girlfriend

[Anonymous]

How much of their free time does your older (16+) teen spend with their boyfriend or girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

That's my ds too. Dh is very bothered by it. I also feel like it is SO much time, like aren't they tired of each other? But maybe it's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

Yeah pretty much the same. Mine even got the same summer job and has the exact same hours. But in all fairness, given everything else in life, it’s not all that much time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

That's my ds too. Dh is very bothered by it. I also feel like it is SO much time, like aren't they tired of each other? But maybe it's normal.

What do you want them to do instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

That's my ds too. Dh is very bothered by it. I also feel like it is SO much time, like aren't they tired of each other? But maybe it's normal.

What do you want them to do instead?

Hang out more with friends, relaxed alone a little...I worry that if the relationship ends ds will be very distraught and not know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

That's my ds too. Dh is very bothered by it. I also feel like it is SO much time, like aren't they tired of each other? But maybe it's normal.

What do you want them to do instead?

Hang out more with friends, relaxed alone a little...I worry that if the relationship ends ds will be very distraught and not know what to do.

That’s probably likely, but it’s also developmentally normal. Young love is obsessive love because that’s how our brains work at that stage of life - we fixate to the neglect of all other things. We can be the same about music and sports and other hobbies when we are young.

For most kids it is a normal experience of growing up and is survivable- maybe with some scar tissue on the heart that makes us more sensible about love going forward.

Definitely keep paying attention, and be prepared to step in and help if your kid is more deeply affected. I’m sure you don’t need me to remind you about the ways obsessive teenaged love can go horribly wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free time when they aren't doing: homework, sports practice, required family time, anything else required - all . The answer is all.

That's my ds too. Dh is very bothered by it. I also feel like it is SO much time, like aren't they tired of each other? But maybe it's normal.

What do you want them to do instead?

Hang out more with friends, relaxed alone a little...I worry that if the relationship ends ds will be very distraught and not know what to do.

That would be normal. Kids need to learn to handle break ups.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much all free time. I don't think it's necessary to interfere or force them to spend time alone (???). Do you not like the gf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much all free time. I don't think it's necessary to interfere or force them to spend time alone (???). Do you not like the gf?

I really like her! It has just been a lot of time, intense. We hardly ever see him most days.

[Anonymous]

As much as they can. We don't let them out of school, job, family or volunteer obligations. We've had big talks about how boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends last forever (not really, but the point is, don't ditch all your friends for an SO).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As much as they can. We don't let them out of school, job, family or volunteer obligations. We've had big talks about how boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends last forever (not really, but the point is, don't ditch all your friends for an SO).

Not really. How friends from high school are you still in regular communication with and see with any frequency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As much as they can. We don't let them out of school, job, family or volunteer obligations. We've had big talks about how boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends last forever (not really, but the point is, don't ditch all your friends for an SO).

Not really. How friends from high school are you still in regular communication with and see with any frequency?

Both DH and I are still very much in touch with our HS friends, they make up our core group.

But, I also met DH in HS and married him, and we spent (almost) every waking moment together from like 16-20. So I do see both sides here. Friend time should still be important, but it's not really a parents place to pull strings in childs relationships.

[Anonymous]

Most of their mutual free time. For a while they even worked together. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

In person - not that much. She worked 20 hrs/week in HS, took a lot of AP classes, and has a father that didn't allow her to do much. He played 2 sports with after school/evening practice. They would see each other at school and then a couple of times a week in the evening when their schedule allowed.

This summer they are both working full time + other commitments and she moved about an hour away so they see each other a few times a month typically all day.

But don't ask me about how much they talk on the phone/facetime/text. LOL