Siblings constantly bickering

[Anonymous]

I have two elementary school-age boys two years apart. The incessant bickering has been driving me and DH up the wall. We try to separate them, send them to different camps, give them chores, tell them to ride their bikes, but they always seem to come back together to play and then of course, resume bickering. They do it in public, too. It’s ridiculous. Any good solutions other than getting another house? 😂 do sisters the same age get into the same constant fighting, too? I don’t remember my sister snd I fighting like this all, the, time.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, my two daughters are like this, too. Also two years apart. They are 10 and 12 and the biggest help is that they were in separate schools last year and had totally different schedules. Neither of them fights with their 5 yo brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary school-age boys two years apart. The incessant bickering has been driving me and DH up the wall. We try to separate them, send them to different camps, give them chores, tell them to ride their bikes, but they always seem to come back together to play and then of course, resume bickering. They do it in public, too. It’s ridiculous. Any good solutions other than getting another house? 😂 do sisters the same age get into the same constant fighting, too? I don’t remember my sister snd I fighting like this all, the, time.

In other news, water is wet. Ask your parents if you argued. I'm sure you did. What they are doing is actually good for them. They are practicing getting along with others. So I would suggest ear plugs for you. Step in if it gets violent, of course but, allow bickering and tell them that you know they will figure it out. To help you can say if arguing over which video game to play on the switch. If you can't agree than no video games and we will find extra chores to do.

Then they will figure it out. I promise!

[Anonymous]

Have you read and applied Siblings Without Rivalry?

[Anonymous]

My parents wouldn't hear of it, bickering. I'm sure there were times when I was clearly -wronged- and needed their help. But even if not perfect -- I do not think you tolerate the bickering. You should not put up with such disruption to your adult lives - their feelings do not have to be accommodated, to a great degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary school-age boys two years apart. The incessant bickering has been driving me and DH up the wall. We try to separate them, send them to different camps, give them chores, tell them to ride their bikes, but they always seem to come back together to play and then of course, resume bickering. They do it in public, too. It’s ridiculous. Any good solutions other than getting another house? 😂 do sisters the same age get into the same constant fighting, too? I don’t remember my sister snd I fighting like this all, the, time.

In other news, water is wet. Ask your parents if you argued. I'm sure you did. What they are doing is actually good for them. They are practicing getting along with others. So I would suggest ear plugs for you. Step in if it gets violent, of course but, allow bickering and tell them that you know they will figure it out. To help you can say if arguing over which video game to play on the switch. If you can't agree than no video games and we will find extra chores to do.

Then they will figure it out. I promise!

Don't rationalize your parenting negligence. Siblings help with practicing getting along with others, but constant fighting is not getting along, it's NOT getting along. Not all humans get along with all other humans, whether born to the same parents or not. If you've applied Siblings without Rivalry and tried to teach them better interpersonal techniques, and it's still not working, then separate them. But don't ignore it and let them disrupt everyone's lives.

[Anonymous]

You need to teach them how to take turns, how to ask for a turn, how to wait, how to voice their feelings, how to voice their needs, how to have empathy for another person—these are all skills that can be taught, they take time and patience.

[Anonymous]

My 2 daughters are 2 years apart (10 and 12) and have bickered constantly for as long as I can remember. I can count on one hand the number of times they played nicely together. I will say they are much better on vacation when we are on neutral territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary school-age boys two years apart. The incessant bickering has been driving me and DH up the wall. We try to separate them, send them to different camps, give them chores, tell them to ride their bikes, but they always seem to come back together to play and then of course, resume bickering. They do it in public, too. It’s ridiculous. Any good solutions other than getting another house? 😂 do sisters the same age get into the same constant fighting, too? I don’t remember my sister snd I fighting like this all, the, time.

In other news, water is wet. Ask your parents if you argued. I'm sure you did. What they are doing is actually good for them. They are practicing getting along with others. So I would suggest ear plugs for you. Step in if it gets violent, of course but, allow bickering and tell them that you know they will figure it out. To help you can say if arguing over which video game to play on the switch. If you can't agree than no video games and we will find extra chores to do.

Then they will figure it out. I promise!

Don't rationalize your parenting negligence. Siblings help with practicing getting along with others, but constant fighting is not getting along, it's NOT getting along. Not all humans get along with all other humans, whether born to the same parents or not. If you've applied Siblings without Rivalry and tried to teach them better interpersonal techniques, and it's still not working, then separate them. But don't ignore it and let them disrupt everyone's lives.

Ok but kids have no interpersonal problems at school, with friends and peers. They clearly know how to get along with others. They just feel more comfortable getting territorial, arguing, teasing and getting physical with a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two elementary school-age boys two years apart. The incessant bickering has been driving me and DH up the wall. We try to separate them, send them to different camps, give them chores, tell them to ride their bikes, but they always seem to come back together to play and then of course, resume bickering. They do it in public, too. It’s ridiculous. Any good solutions other than getting another house? 😂 do sisters the same age get into the same constant fighting, too? I don’t remember my sister snd I fighting like this all, the, time.

I have 2 girls 20 months apart and they argue like crazy, esp during summer when they are around each other.

[Anonymous]

Can you be more specific?

[Anonymous]

Time heals all.

Our two also fought like crazy. Around 9/11 or 10/12, they became buddies. Now, 24 and 22, they are the best of friends. For real. They call each other just to talk, to ask for advice, etc. (They live far away from each other)

[Anonymous]

This is, as they say, a tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Spend some 1-1 time with them and keep them separated. Don't play favorites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time heals all.

Our two also fought like crazy. Around 9/11 or 10/12, they became buddies. Now, 24 and 22, they are the best of friends. For real. They call each other just to talk, to ask for advice, etc. (They live far away from each other)

No, not for all siblings.