Frustrated with DH over names
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Anonymous
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I feel like DH just says no to everything and the names that remain on our list are fine but we are 8 weeks away and none of them are standing out. Our last name is two syllables starting with Ma. I also want a middle name. He doesn't care. But we can't even narrow it down to 2-3 names for when we meet her.
I had no idea he cared so much or had so many rules for names. I'm also trying to be extra sensitive and not pull out a I get more of a day because I'm pushing her out that a few friends have done. My husband has a condition where we needed to use donor sperm/IVF so I'm open to his suggestions and I'm really trying but I'm also running out of names here. I've added the vetoed names as well. So you can see Names that remain on our list Eleanor - it's fine, it just doesn't click Lillian- I do like it, don't know if I love Lily as a nn Charlotte- he wants to call her Charlie and I hate that Clara- fine but again I just don't feel like she's a Clara but I don't know what she is Beth- he hates Elizabeth but fine with beth as a standalone Hannah - he wants it pronounced HAWNUH - Arabic/Jewish pronunciation - we are neither. Violet- growing on me, and was my addition Sophia/Sophie- same it's growing on me Names he has vetoed His reason is always I just don't like it or so and so will get a big head if we name her after then - talking about family members or friends that share the same name Elizabeth Georgina/Georgia Colette Matilda Margaret/Maggie Rowan Zoe Arden Maeve Maren Felicity Rosalind Tabitha Sabrina Rebecca Emaline Nora Amelia Audrey Claudia Winnie/Winifred Francine Mallory- I also took the off the list after seeing it meant ill-omened and unfortunate one Valerie Katherine/Kate Ava Emily Abigail Naomi Lucy Flora/Florence Camille Mia Names I have vetoed Isabelle/Isabela- 3 friends already have girls with this name Daisy- very cute but I see last baby stage or as a nickname Olivia- too popular Madeline- he would absolutely call her Maddy and I really hate it as a name Samantha - one of his best friends has a daughter named Samantha |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Kind of dumb to reject a name for being "too popular." Popular is good.
I like Graciella. But it might be shortened to Grace or Gracey. What about Audrey? Or Penelope? |
Anonymous
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OP, this is your first child, right?
He's getting nervous and stressed and so are you. Drop the conversation for now. It's really not a big deal now. |
Anonymous
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Sorry I vetoed emaline. It's a band he likes. I also didn't say what I was looking for - venting but also how did others balance partners wishes with names?
Any other name suggestions? DH keeps calling her Marcia after his grandmother and I've offered that as a middle name option. He refuses. He won't entertain Marcia or anything else - I don't like those either but I'm trying to compromise. I just feel stuck and I'm trying to be collaborative on this |
Anonymous
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My husband and I had some similar trouble agreeing on a name. I really loved Brianna but he hated that. I didn't want to name our daughter after his father or mom. And so it went, through dozens of names. We basically stayed an extra day at the hospital to agree on a name. Fifteen years later, our daughter doesn't particularly like her name or feel like it represents her. I won't be surprised if she renames herself. And that's okay too.
All of which is to say, try not to stress too much. Life is long. You never know what's going to happen, you can't really make sure that things will work out the way you want, and that's okay. Good luck to you. |
Anonymous
| You still have time, try not to panic and start feeling resentful |
Anonymous
Not when I work with kids and have to listen to 10 Olivia's being called all day long. She will have a cousin named Grace and he also doesn't like Penelope. His mother suggested it and he kept quoting some movie where they pronounce funny |
Anonymous
| Also, to be honest, I'd consider using a name that could work for either gender. |
Anonymous
Yes our first and probably only. Definitely only girl. That's the thing. I'm definitely stressed and trying not to show it to him. Venting here and with a close friend and I know it's not a big deal and we have time and once I see her I'll probably know/it will be easier. But people keep asking. And he keeps calling her more and more ridiculous things like vesper because he wants me to decide from the list. |
Anonymous
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Your husband could start a club with my husband called Men Who Make Naming a Baby a Miserable Experience.
I don't know what to tell you. We went with the one name we both liked even though I had reservations about it's popularity and we couldn't agree on a nickname. She now goes by the nickname he liked but I don't love. I suggested 100 names and he vetoed 99 of them. He suggested 2 names and I vetoed one of them. He's also like this when we buy furniture or order food but it was a much bigger problem with the names. It's incredibly annoying. |
Anonymous
For IVF? We know we are having a girl. If they feel different and want to change it that's fine. But something that will come with time. Do most people do gender neutral names now? |
Anonymous
No. Do not feel like you have to give her a gender neutral name. |
Anonymous
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Names that could work for either gender:
Alex Dylan Max Finley Robin Kirby Morgan Billie Toby Casey Cassidy Rory Sidney Dell |
Anonymous
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I think either of you can veto any name, as many as you wish, for any reason. It’s something you both should agree on.
I think you can use whatever nickname(s) you want, and don’t have to agree on those. However, if the child eventually objects to a nickname, that should be respected. I agree that you don’t have to decide right now. You might find it easier to agree after you meet her. |