Dating with teens
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Anonymous
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Both kids are with their dad this weekend. Friend was on his way over. DD got her license earlier this week. She forgot something’s and came back home to pick them up.
She didn’t call. She shouldn’t have to. It’s her house. But if she had showed up 30 min later I would have a lot of explaining to do. I’ve always kept my dating life separate from the kids. As far as they know, I don’t date. For those of you that have navigated this, how to I prepare for the unexpected? |
Anonymous
| Put a sock on the front door handle when you have someone over |
Anonymous
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I have teens too, OP. It's been 15 years since the divorce and 10 years since I dated anyone they knew about. I recently reconnected with an ex and even though I don't bring him around my kids, they noticed I was going out more and staying out later than usual. They were not thrilled but I assured them they don't have to meet him anytime soon as it's not serious. If that changes, we'll talk again.
Your DD is old enough to understand that you want and need romance in your life. It may be a tough conversation but it's better than her finding out the way she almost did. And MUCH better than you just not dating! |
Anonymous
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Let your kid see you having a full life. I mean, they don't need to walk in on all the action, but why is the fact that you're dating some kind of hush-hush secret?
Parents are people. If you can't be honest about your life, you're probably living it wrong. |
Anonymous
| She is at least 16. She can (and should) know that you date. |
Anonymous
| Personally I think kids know if you are hiding something and it leads to an unintended environment where concealment and hiding things is acceptable. This is dangerous with teens. IMO it’s much better to tell them plainly you’re dating and to give you a heads up if making any visits. Don’t go behind their backs like they’re five, unless you’d be happy for them to go behind yours. |
Anonymous
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My 16 years old daughter and 14 years old son sadly hate their mother. We divorced a year ago and she has since been BF #2. Kids don't like going to her place. I told them their mom had the right to date and be happy but I don't know why they just hate it. Of course it doesn't help that she is a moody person to deal with.
I guess it depends on the kids. |
Anonymous
| I’ve always dated. I have full custody, so there was never any hiding it. Why do you feel you need to keep it a secret? Makes it look worse if you get caught. |
Anonymous
+1 Just be open and honest about it. It’s healthy and normal for you and you should model being healthy and normal. |
Anonymous
| If you want to have anyone in your home, it's time you told them. They need to hear it from you and not find out other ways. |
Anonymous
| Is this typical to hide dating from kids? Do men hide dating or just women? |
Anonymous
I don't think it's common to hide it from kids. Men certainly will have no problems introducing kids to a gf they met a week ago lol. At least my ex DH. |
Anonymous
| The first six months my boyfriend and I were dating, we only saw each other during his non custody time. He told his kids that of course they could come over anytime when he didn’t have custody but to text a heads up first. They didn’t know he was dating anyone. And were surprised when he told them and introduced us. |
Anonymous
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I think OP is talking about getting caught having sex.
I think you should tell them you are dating nothing wrong with it, I also think you should keep them separate until and if you want him to be a permanent part of your life. As for not wanting to get caught having sex, well don't do it at your house. |
Anonymous
By that logic, should married couples refrain from having sex too in case they get caught? 
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