Would you stay in the house?

[Anonymous]

After the rain on Thursday, our basement flooded. We're in the middle of cleanup, and while our hot water heater has been replaced, we'll be without a washer and dryer and our A/C until Tuesday. We do have dual zones in the house, and the upstairs unit is functioning fine, IMO. DH on the other hand thinks its too hot. He's spent the past few days supervising the cleanup since he thinks our GC is a little bit over his head (that's me being kind. He'd use a lot more colorful language). Today, I drove over my mother's to do some laundry, and he calls me and says that the house is overrun with mosquitos, the basement is full of maggots and mold, and he wants to get a hotel. I get home from my mother's and every door is open (we don't have screens) and there's nothing flying in sight.

Normally I'd be all for the hotel, but we're in the middle of weaning and sleep training the 2 y/o, who isn't going down with a fight. Several actually. I managed to stop daytime nursing, so he went from waking up once or twice a night, to 4 or 5 times. Last night, he woke up twice, but after an hour of him crying and me soothing, he eventually went back to sleep. Before, he'd wake up around midnight and we'd just bring him to bed with us. Understandably I'm very excited, and the thought of having to spend the night in a hotel is really not a great one for me. I think that him being in a strange room, with us would be a huge step back. DH thinks we can just catch up easily and I'm being unreasonable. Meanwhile, my son is the most stubborn toddler I've ever met. Our 3 y/o DS was so much easier: He was trained at 9 months, and he stopped nursing at 6 months.

Am I being unreasonable. DH is downstairs, in the heat and threatening to just get his own room. I told him to do what he had to....

[Anonymous]

I totally understand - going to a hotel would make a mess of the weaning/training, and you seem to be bearing the brunt of that. If you're confident that there are no mosquitos and the air from the basement can be screened off (door) and isn't circulating upstairs (not likely with dual zone), I'd stay too.

[Anonymous]

You're being unreasonable. Go to the hotel. Extraordinary times and all that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. There's no mosquitos. I just went down to the basement looking for hangers. It's dried out except for an odd patch here or there. I'm typing this upstairs in the cool air, while DH is sitting in the living room, the only room without so much as a ceiling fan, on the laptop. I just don't care anymore. If it's something he wants then we argue about it until he gets it, or he pouts and refuses to do it out of spite. If it's something I want that he's not interested in, I get ignored.

I know I sound a little bitchy, but I'm tired. I'm the one who didn't get any sleep last night, and spent half her day either in traffic or doing laundry while entertaining a grouchy toddler. I know DH is stressed about the flooding and now they are calling for possibly more rain tomorrow. But we have a new sump pump, our contractor is sending out a clean up crew to finish getting rid of everything that was destroyed and are replacing everything on their dime. I wish DH would just relax a little and stop worrying so much, because at this rate, I worry he'll have to go on his blood pressure meds again.

Anyway, wish me luck through tonight's round of CIO.

[Anonymous]

Why can't your husband just go if he's that miserable. Once we were without A/C in August and our son was a few months old. I was miserable so I took our son to a hotel and my husband stayed at home.

[Anonymous]

21:33 here - And good luck tonight. I, too, have 2 yo son who is still nursing. He slept through the night for the first time 2 weeks ago and I was beyond thrilled (he had been waking up 3-4 times per night to nurse). I have working on weaning him for the past month and the decrease in nursing session during the day seems to have had the opposite effect on my son than it did on yours.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that if the shoe was on the other foot, a husband would agree to go to the hotel. No way would he force you to stay at home if you were uncomfortable or freaked out about bugs.

As for the weaning, c'mon, you waited until 2 years to do it. A few nights isn't going to matter.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your husband would be more comfortable to go, while you would be more comfortable to stay.

So I'd send him to have a few nights by himself, maybe taking the older child with him? But you stay behind with the 2 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that if the shoe was on the other foot, a husband would agree to go to the hotel. No way would he force you to stay at home if you were uncomfortable or freaked out about bugs.

As for the weaning, c'mon, you waited until 2 years to do it. A few nights isn't going to matter.

This!!!

[Anonymous]

OP again. Well we're staying. My whole point was that we have A/C upstairs, in fact it's working so well I dug out a pair of flannel pajamas after DH turned it down to 62. If we'd had no power I'd have been all for going. If we'd had, as DH portrayed it, flies and mosquitos infesting the house, I'd have been all for going. But I got home to a nearly dry basement and maybe 2 flies, both of which probably came in through the wide open front door. Ah well.

As for the weaning, DS has been a bit difficult since birth. I've been trying to wean him unsucessfully since he was 14 months old. Every other time has ended in disaster. Tonite's going well. Got him down with minimal fuss, and so far he's woken up only once. There's also been a distinct lack of *I'm mad as Hell* bloodcurdling screams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that if the shoe was on the other foot, a husband would agree to go to the hotel. No way would he force you to stay at home if you were uncomfortable or freaked out about bugs.

As for the weaning, c'mon, you waited until 2 years to do it. A few nights isn't going to matter.

This!!!

No, not this. (BTW "this"er why not articulate your own thoughts?)

Tell your DH he is welcome to go but you fail to see the need. Then explain to him that since there are no circumstances that require evacuation, since everything is under control, you don't see the need to leave. If you stop weaning in the middle things could go off track for a while. Trust me.

[aprilmayjune]

I think that you and your husband really should come to some sort of agreement together whether it be he stays, you go, you all go, whatever, I think it's fair that it be a mutual decision. That's just my opinion though, so if it were me, I would have a discussion with him, where you can both explain your sides of the argument. If he is at all worried about the safety of you and your children, than you should respect that whether you see validity in it or not.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, we haven't run the AC since the storm, as the weather has been so cool. But we open our screened windows and run ceiling fans in most rooms. I'd be more concerned about mosquitoes than the heat at this point. But it is always a negotiation....

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you posted here if you were just going to do whatever you wanted, anyway.

IMO, you should let DH go to a hotel if he wants. Perhaps the heat affects the two of you differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why you posted here if you were just going to do whatever you wanted, anyway.

IMO, you should let DH go to a hotel if he wants. Perhaps the heat affects the two of you differently.

All of this!