Mom just chased us out of nursing home

[Anonymous]

Well we went to go visit my mom in the nursing home today. She’s in memory care unit. It’s only been two weeks. She saw us and told us to go home and she does t want us and hat she’ll kill herself. So we left.

[Anonymous]

Is there a question there? What are we supposed to do? If she has alzheimers she probably won't remember she did that. Just go back another day

[Anonymous]

This is normal with dementia. It's only going to get worse before she cannot speak at all. Ignore the crazy behavior and visit weekly. The more involved you are the better care she will get.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this happened. Hopefully next visit will be better. Can change day by day with Alzheimers.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing by leaving. It would have further agitated her

[Anonymous]

If she keeps it up she should be formally evaluated. However it sounds like she’s just miserable and taking it out on you

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. Keep showing up even if it's just to spend ten minutes there making sure the staff knows you care enough to show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. Keep showing up even if it's just to spend ten minutes there making sure the staff knows you care enough to show up.

Staff will treat her better if they know there is family oversight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

Op should have said that in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. Keep showing up even if it's just to spend ten minutes there making sure the staff knows you care enough to show up.

Staff will treat her better if they know there is family oversight

+1 Call and ask how she’s doing on days you can’t visit. Make sure the staff knows you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s heart wrenching. I had a relative who became more childlike as her memory got worse. If that happens, you can sort of distract her by bringing her something interesting when you visit; a favorite dessert, a book (photo books if her eyesight makes reading difficult), photos of relatives, flowers, fidget toys, hobby items if she crochets or something like that. One woman in my relative’s memory care unit had a babydoll she always held. Another was allowed to have her cat stay in her room (her family cleaned the litter box and fed the cat, not the staff).

I hope your next visit goes more smoothly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

Op should have said that in the beginning.

No one asked you to respond. I’m guess op doesn’t pass the perfect poster test after what sounds like a horrible experience. I hope you show grace

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

Op should have said that in the beginning.

No one asked you to respond. I’m guess op doesn’t pass the perfect poster test after what sounds like a horrible experience. I hope you show grace

Op—if you are in a position to do so, perhaps look into elder care management and have them visit for a bit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

Op should have said that in the beginning.

There are some key concepts here that should have indicated to any reader that empathy was a necessary starting point: memory care, threats of suicide.

So sorry, OP, it sounds really painful. We're a little further behind you and trying to steel ourselves for what is coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is just looking for empathy. Try to show some without being snippy

Op should have said that in the beginning.

Thus poster is OP’s mom