When did you know you were ready to get married?

[Anonymous]

Not when you met the person, but when you sat down and believed you were?

[Anonymous]

I was probably ready close to age 28-29 but realized then my long term bf wasn’t the one. I loved him but had some concerns about him as a parent. We ended up breaking up two years later and then I dated a lot… I had many many first and second dates, and two short lived relationships before I finally met DH. Our love wasn’t instant, but it grew steady and at some point I just knew we could work as a team and family. Ten years and two kids later, all is well

I’ve also had the instant attraction/familiarity with people before and it is so strong and convincing but the truth is you just can’t immediately know. You can know you have chemistry and fun together but there are many other traits necessary for a successful marriage that take time to discover.

There is some truth to the “when you know, you know” adage, but the “what” of what you need to know isn’t just an ethereal quality.

Why do you ask?

[Anonymous]

I had had enough time single. I had done all the things—traveled, built an exciting career, made more thanenough money, done whatever I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted. It lost its charm after a while and was a lonely life at home. I figured it was as good a time as ever to stop wasting my time with the aimless dating scene and get married. My parents had been married 35+ years, so I knew it wasn’t some unobtainable or foreign thing. It just clicked that I was prepared to put on my big girl pants and take a leap of faith.

I was ready at 27. Ironically enough, I wasn’t taking her advice on purpose, but that’s the age my mother always told me I should wait until to marry. I didn’t meet and marry DH until 29, though.

[Anonymous]

I was 26 and we had been dating for about 8 months and we’d been very good friends for a few years before that. I was in love pretty fast and when I met his family I knew I wanted to marry him. He proposed completely out of the blue and we still joke that he hadn’t thought about it until then. I was definitely ready to get married and in my head I was giving him one year but he delivered early.

[Anonymous]

When the hairline started to go and I was one of the oldest people in the nightclubs I frequented.

[Anonymous]

After about 8 years of marriage

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t looking for a relationship and wasn’t really ready for a long-term one when DH and I first got together. So while I knew he was marriage material within a few months, I needed more than a year to get to the point where I was too. I think I needed to experience day to day life together, understand approaches to conflict and problem solving, meet and interact with extended family and friends, and develop confidence that there were no head games in the mix.

[Anonymous]

DH proposed on our first date, LOL. We got married 4 years later.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t! I always thought it was one of those things where you don’t worry whether or not you’re ready. I was always trying to better myself and I figured that between that and putting in the effort to have a good marriage I’d be as ready as I ever. I was 24 when I got married and yes that was young but I knew I had met the right guy.

In retrospect I don’t think I’d recommend this to someone. I was pretty mature; I was dating with both my head and the heart in the game. But had I gotten swept off my feet a few years earlier, marriage might have been much worse. Maybe I would say that you’re ready for marriage when you can truly see the situation from a rational and realistic perspective and you know you’re capable of putting in the work to be a good partner.

[Anonymous]

5th anniversary

[Anonymous]

Hopeless romantic here. I used to daydream about being married to my elementary/jr high crush and of course my high school boyfriend.

I’ve been married 28 years.

[Anonymous]

Once I was 30 it was whomever I was dating. And then I proposed.

[Anonymous]

DH and I had dated for many years (since our early 20s) and I knew children were improtant to me (and him). I knew he’d supported me (and vice versa) through some hard times and that we tended to have a lot of fun together and good communication and so I told him I wanted to marry or move on so I had time to meet somebody else and have kids. He proposed soon after and we married 16 years ago.

[Anonymous]

When I turned 38 and realized I forgot to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I was 30 it was whomever I was dating. And then I proposed.

Lol