East Coast -> West Coast?

[Anonymous]

I am curious - if you or your child was raised on the east coast but went to college on the west coast, did you/they return back to the east coast after college or eventually? I am worried my kids will go to college in California, fall in love with the scenery and never come home. Anyone forbid their child from applying to west coast colleges?

[Anonymous]

My son has two friends who went to school on the West Coast and never came back. My other son's girlfriend just finished her first year there for college and has already said she's staying there.

I hope you were joking about forbidding your kid. As much as I would hate it if my kids moved far away, I could never do that to them. I want my kids to live and make their own choices. It's not about me, it's about them.

[Anonymous]

My friends and I did the opposite. California kids who moved east for college and fell in love with affordable housing. I came to DC, saw NoVA housing prices and thought I had hit the jackpot, lol. Classmates ended up in Boston, New York, and Connecticut and did the same.

The ones who returned were those who did grad school back in California.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends and I did the opposite. California kids who moved east for college and fell in love with affordable housing. I came to DC, saw NoVA housing prices and thought I had hit the jackpot, lol. Classmates ended up in Boston, New York, and Connecticut and did the same.

The ones who returned were those who did grad school back in California.

And OMG please don't "forbid" the child from going. The best thing I ever did in my life was experience a new place and spread my wings. My family is still there to visit and I'm sure my parents would like my family to be closer to them, but I'm happy here--and isn't that the point of life? To find happiness?

[Anonymous]

haha.. well, eventually they may return once they realize they can't buy a sfh and start a family there unless they make a shlt ton of money.

I lived in CA for 40 years, then got priced out once kids came along, and we needed another bedroom. My kids would love to go to CA. I would never stop them.

Your kid could go to college here, but still decide to move away. You just never know. Most of my siblings and my spouse's siblings have moved away, some to another continent.

[Anonymous]

Yes my child went to college out west and is staying for now. I could see forbidding them if cost is an issue. All those flights back and forth add up.

[Anonymous]

It's a risk, but the bigger risk is your kids dating and falling in love with someone who doesn't want to live where you live, and this is something you can't control. So, I'd like them to go to college where they want, and you can afford it, as you're losing control starting now regardless...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has two friends who went to school on the West Coast and never came back. My other son's girlfriend just finished her first year there for college and has already said she's staying there.

I hope you were joking about forbidding your kid. As much as I would hate it if my kids moved far away, I could never do that to them. I want my kids to live and make their own choices. It's not about me, it's about them.

Although i agree that “forbidding” them is too strong and may eventually backfire, I do believe that it’s not only about them but that to a more limited extent, it’s about the family. I’ve tried to raise my kids to realize that they do have responsibilities to the family. Time will tell if I’ve been successful.

[Anonymous]

CA parent here of a rising Junior who has already expressed their desire to go to college on the east coast. I think this is completely natural - you want to try out a new environment vs where you grew up.

I would not forbid them from applying to schools OOS/opposite coast (so long as travel costs weren’t an issue).

[Anonymous]

Yes, they will not return if they go west. Put your foot down now while you can!!

(sarcasm)

[Anonymous]

I know a student who went to CA and is returning because they didn’t like it. It’s a very different vibe.

[Anonymous]

I came to the east coast from California for college and never left. A good portion of my high school classmates did the same.

I would never not let my child go to school on the other coast for fear that they'd move there forever. That's really selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a student who went to CA and is returning because they didn’t like it. It’s a very different vibe.

We have similar ideas.
I encouraged my children to apply to the West Coast, but they didn't even bother.
They don't like it there at all, and I understand. It definitely has a different vibe.

Actually, I don't like it there myself and wouldn't want to live there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious - if you or your child was raised on the east coast but went to college on the west coast, did you/they return back to the east coast after college or eventually? I am worried my kids will go to college in California, fall in love with the scenery and never come home. Anyone forbid their child from applying to west coast colleges?

:shrug: my parents forbid me from applying (didn't stop me, but I couldn't afford UCLA anyway). Not sure how I would feel about it with my kid.

I think it is likely if they feel college is establishing them as an adult they'd stay, especially if they had a relationship. I know more people that stayed where they were because of partners or jobs out of college. That's what I did over here.

I know some people that moved after college struggled because they had a good network of people to help find jobs closer to their college rather than where they lived (saw this even with ivy league grads). that is much more pronounced with grad school, but can influence undergrad.

I'd assume that if they went to college near a city on the west coast, or in a more urbanized area, there is a higher likelihood they would stay. If they went to a college that was a...standalone college? for lack of a better description, one less integrated into a community, that was on the west coast, they might be more likely to return.

[Anonymous]

[God, my grammar is terrible, but I hope my ideas came across. Today has been a very very long day.]