mom refuses walker

[Anonymous]

My mom had a horrible fall down her steps and was admitted to the hospital and broker her arm. We are lucky that is the worst of it. She is refusing to use her walker and I don't really know what to do. I would say cognitive decline, but she has always been unreasonably stubborn, thinks she is independent but that is far from the truth. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Can you build a small ramp? It doesn't sound like a walker would have prevented this fall. But if she's unsteady on stairs, a ramp going outside could be helpful. We built one for my grandma at my house growing up.

[Anonymous]

There’s absolutely nothing you can do, maddening as it is; she has the ability to make her own choices, as terrible as they may seem.

[Anonymous]

Does she actually need the walker or you just want her to use it for extra safety?

My mom broke her leg and refused to use the walker. At first I was upset but she powered through it with a boot and a cane to make quick recovery. The Dr. Said that her strong will to walk again helped her recovery.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, walkers are not enough to prevent falls, although they're a good start. Both my father and MIL fell while using a walker. In my MIL's case, she started using one preventivly and didn't have to be talked into it because she is so afraid of losing independence (she's not) or dying. In my father's case, he had to be hospitalized several times after falling to be convinced that he needed a walker. I wish I had better advice, but the reality is that falls cannot be prevented 100 percent. All you can do is keep bringing it up gently or have a healthcare provider mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s absolutely nothing you can do, maddening as it is; she has the ability to make her own choices, as terrible as they may seem.

+1

Get her out of a situation with steps and stairs. Be kind and direct. Either make better plans or you will not have control of where this ends up, which is going to be dying an unpleasant death in a hospital. To be blunt.

[Anonymous]

Story about a wheelchair ~ friend had brought a wheelchair for her elderly Mother. Friend believed without a doubt that it was essential. Took the wheelchair out of the car and set it up. Mother refused to use it. Friend said, "one of us is using this wheelchair. Either I get in and you push me, or you get in and I'll push you. Which is it going to be?" The Mother relented.

[Anonymous]

A walker may make her dependent earlier, OP. She needs to use her muscles and try to balance by herself for as long as she can. And a walker wouldn't help down the stairs, would it?

My MIL pushed back walker use as far as she could, until her Parkinson's advanced so much she was not able to balance by herself. We didn't push her to use one, knowing it would only accelerate her decline. She fell several times, with and without it, and broke her hip once.

Old age is difficult. Pick your battles. Addressing the stair safety issue would seem like a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s absolutely nothing you can do, maddening as it is; she has the ability to make her own choices, as terrible as they may seem.

This.
She is taking a risk and if she is cognitively competent to make her own decisions, it is her right to make BAD ones.
A lot of older people are like “if I die then I die”—but You might try pointing out to her that there are worse things than risk of death though….like paralysis from a fall.
This got through to my mom particularly because she doesn’t want to be a burden on anyone.

[Anonymous]

what is her living situation? If it's not one level, the walker will help to a certain extent, but she will still need to climb stairs? will she use a stairlift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what is her living situation? If it's not one level, the walker will help to a certain extent, but she will still need to climb stairs? will she use a stairlift?

My dad refused to use the stairlift so it was a lot of effort and $$ that went to waste

[Anonymous]

My husbands mom refuses a cane and she has fallen a couple times. He doesn’t push it and it is maddening to me because if she really gets hurt, guess who has to completely alter their life/schedule to help her? He does!

And guess who will have to do all of the household/kid duties while he tends to her? You guessed it….

[Anonymous]

Have her DR write a script for PT. PT will help her with balance and strength or recommend a cane or walker and teach her how to use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her DR write a script for PT. PT will help her with balance and strength or recommend a cane or walker and teach her how to use it.

Done much PT lately? Good luck finding anybody competent and even then they’re completely overbooked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her DR write a script for PT. PT will help her with balance and strength or recommend a cane or walker and teach her how to use it.

Done much PT lately? Good luck finding anybody competent and even then they’re completely overbooked.

Yes, I have. I recently finished OP, OT, and speech due to a stroke and weakness. It took about three weeks to get started. Totally worth it despite the wait.