MIL Caregiver Compensation

[Anonymous]

We will be going the route of my MIL caring for our infant PT. She will not accept money but we still want to respect her time and show we appreciate her. We have decided to

- Get her Uber to/from ( 3 miles away)
- Buy a coffee machine and keep it stocked with her favorites
- Keep her favorite snacks stocked
- Setup DD on IPad for her to order herself lunch.
- Set her up with a meal subscription for days she works.
- Get her a message package for a bi-weekly or monthly massage. Our baby is a a chunk already and holding him isn’t easy on the muscles.


What else can we do to make her efforts really compensated?

[Anonymous]

Holy shiii t

[Anonymous]

Don’t nitpick every time she doesn’t follow your preferences exactly. She isn’t going to and you might as well let it go in advance.

And of course, thank her every day for her care of her grandchild.

[Anonymous]

A cleaning service

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A cleaning service

OP here. I never thought about this but I will discuss with my husband. She cooks and cleans the home her and my FIL live in.

[Anonymous]

That sounds nice. The massage and meal service may be over the top depending on her personality. My mother would see going for a massage as another chore and would rather cook her own simple meals than get a kit and have to read all the instructions. So I guess I would say make sure you're centering it around her needs and not just stuff you're thinking up to cover all bases. So your Mil might appreciate a tutorial on how to watch a show she likes on your TV or her own quiet space to knit or read while the baby is sleeping. Perhaps her own drawer if she tends to schlep a lot of stuff. Maybe she would be OK with you helping her order groceries or Amazon stuff for her so she doesn't have to go to the store as often.

[Anonymous]

You could just hire a nanny for the same money LOL.

[Anonymous]

Does she want all this. I would not. I’d want you to put that money in a college fund.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds nice. The massage and meal service may be over the top depending on her personality. My mother would see going for a massage as another chore and would rather cook her own simple meals than get a kit and have to read all the instructions. So I guess I would say make sure you're centering it around her needs and not just stuff you're thinking up to cover all bases. So your Mil might appreciate a tutorial on how to watch a show she likes on your TV or her own quiet space to knit or read while the baby is sleeping. Perhaps her own drawer if she tends to schlep a lot of stuff. Maybe she would be OK with you helping her order groceries or Amazon stuff for her so she doesn't have to go to the store as often.

OP here. We were thinking of doing Factor meals. They come cooked and you just need to heat it up. That way she won’t need to cook on those days. She does cook nightly for her and my FIL. We figure she may not want to after caring for our son for 9 hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could just hire a nanny for the same money LOL.

OP here. All the nannies we talked to do not want PT hours. We only need 27 hours. My MIL offered. We feel it’s best having our son with someone who will really love him and we know he’s safe and well cared for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds nice. The massage and meal service may be over the top depending on her personality. My mother would see going for a massage as another chore and would rather cook her own simple meals than get a kit and have to read all the instructions. So I guess I would say make sure you're centering it around her needs and not just stuff you're thinking up to cover all bases. So your Mil might appreciate a tutorial on how to watch a show she likes on your TV or her own quiet space to knit or read while the baby is sleeping. Perhaps her own drawer if she tends to schlep a lot of stuff. Maybe she would be OK with you helping her order groceries or Amazon stuff for her so she doesn't have to go to the store as often.

OP here. She is a retired healthcare worker and very tech savvy.

She loves massages and would has been getting them every couple of months for the past 5-10 years or so.

This would be a way where she can go more often and not worry about the expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she want all this. I would not. I’d want you to put that money in a college fund.

OP here. We put away money for college and kid savings. We have the means to provide these amenities to my MIL and want to make sure she knows her time is valued and respected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sounds nice. The massage and meal service may be over the top depending on her personality. My mother would see going for a massage as another chore and would rather cook her own simple meals than get a kit and have to read all the instructions. So I guess I would say make sure you're centering it around her needs and not just stuff you're thinking up to cover all bases. So your Mil might appreciate a tutorial on how to watch a show she likes on your TV or her own quiet space to knit or read while the baby is sleeping. Perhaps her own drawer if she tends to schlep a lot of stuff. Maybe she would be OK with you helping her order groceries or Amazon stuff for her so she doesn't have to go to the store as often.

OP here. She is a retired healthcare worker and very tech savvy.

She loves massages and would has been getting them every couple of months for the past 5-10 years or so.

This would be a way where she can go more often and not worry about the expense.

PP. If that's something she likes to do then that's fine. About the meals I'm not sure. I would ask. They might not like them and might prefer a gift card for a restaurant in town. Or Uber eats if they are tech savvy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could just hire a nanny for the same money LOL.

Haha not even remotely close, have you actually looked at average nanny salaries lately