Wedding gift if no invite?
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Anonymous
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Our oldest nephew is 30. His family moved to the West Coast and we see him briefly every few years if his parents are in town for an event like a funeral or wedding - otherwise, no contact. He and his fiance have two children - when they lived here, I met the fiance twice, briefly, saw their daughter once, never got to meet their son.
He is a lucrative realtor, wife is a stay at home mom. His parents gave them a substantial check to put towards a wedding, and they have elected to take the $ and go to Fiji for two weeks - their wedding ceremony will be private. I am sure we will get a wedding announcement after the fact. What would you give? We are cordial but not close. I attended a different nephew's wedding last year (DH's side of the family) along with our son, and gave the couple, who we know well, $500. What do you send in response to an announcement from family member if you aren't invited to wedding? I want to acknowledge their special day, but we are not particularly close to them. |
Anonymous
| I would send a congratulatory card. I don't send a gift unless I am invited to the wedding. |
Anonymous
| Same as above |
Anonymous
| $100 |
Anonymous
| Based on his age and established place in life I'd send flowers or maybe a small gift after they get back from their trip. It reads almost more like a second marriage than a first. I do not subscribe to the "I didn't go so I don't give" world view, especially for family, but it doesn't sound like there is a regsitry or anything of that nature and they already have a fully stocked home. |
Anonymous
| Card and flowers. |
Anonymous
| They've two kids together, its not a traditional marriage and they aren't throwing a traditional wedding party so its not a traditional wedding. You don't need to be going all traditional with a big gift. Congratulatory card should be enough, flowers can be a gesture of love. If they were two grad students, not throwing a party because they can't afford it, a cash gift would've been nice. |
Anonymous
| Once you get the announcement send a card. If no announcement, I'd do nothing. They have money and are established with kids, so it's not the usual wedding of two young people who lack everything, who the wedding gifts are for. |
Anonymous
| I'd keep it under $100. It's nice of you to send a gift. |
Anonymous
| Send a box of wedding invitations. |
Anonymous
I snort laughed For real though, give what you can give without resentment. If that’s a card, fine. Any sum of money, fine. |
Anonymous
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Restaurant gift card
Though I think it would be super tacky to have a wedding after having kids and then not invite anyone but send out an announcement. |
Anonymous
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I think it’s weird that you wrote all this backstory info when all you had to say was they are having a private wedding ceremony to which you’re not invited but you anticipate getting an announcement of their marriage and you are not very close w them plus they’re already established as a couple not young and broke and just starting out. That’s the only info we need.
I’d send them a congrats card and include $100 check if that’s in your budget. |
Anonymous
| I'd give $100 |
Anonymous
To Dead Lobster |