Feelings about house when you bought it vs. reality

[Anonymous]

As a potential first time homeowner, I’m feeling excited about the house we might buy but also not sure how I’ll feel when we actually move in (or years later as our young kids get older).

How did you all feel when you bought a house? Did you end up loving it more, less, the same? Was there anything you realized you should have thought more about before buying?

I’ve spent most of the last decade living in a big city, so owning a house in the suburbs is all new to me.

[Anonymous]

Buying and selling is expensive (very) and a pain in the neck. My biggest regret is not maxing the budget the first time to get into the house I wanted in the neighborhood I wanted. Which could have happened if I'd accepted a bit of risk and being house poor for a few years. Then I'd be sitting very pretty now instead of waiting for the great unknown - interest rates falling, so I can sell my dull house that I bought just to get something before the market went crazy. And even then I'd be stuck with a much higher mortgage if I do manage to get the house I always wanted.

That's my gripe. Otherwise house is fine. I never loved it, didn't buy it to love it, but it's comfortable enough and a good neighborhood, so I'm indifferent to it. Just waiting to sell it. But it is a different feeling than had I bought the other house because I wouldn't be waiting to sell it and I wouldn't be measuring every penny spent on the house against the resale potential.

[Anonymous]

The costs and hassles of maintenance are high. Even on a property that's generally in good shape, there are always things to fix, replace, etc.

[Anonymous]

We made a list of what we were looking for with both our hearts and our heads - the qualities we love and the conveniences we valued. Then we ran to those and bought solely with our heads, literally the first one we saw that ticked the boxes for our most important priorities.

So we bought with our heads and weren’t in love. Three years later I’m madly in love and more so every year. This house fits our needs so well that it’s a joy to live in.

Buying was a highly emotional time and if we had relied on our hearts we might not have done so well. Other people have had other experiences, of course, but this is what worked for us!

[Anonymous]

The layout of our house isn’t great for family time. Our main level living area is too small and the basement is finished but unappealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The layout of our house isn’t great for family time. Our main level living area is too small and the basement is finished but unappealing.

Which summarizes most finished basements. Unless you have a full walk out that feels like a proper above the ground floor, there's nothing you can do to a basement to make it anything other than a basement. It will be dark, it will always feel fully, it will never be a place to hang out in for hours, unless you are kids desperate to get away from the parents, and in that case it really doesn't matter how nice it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buying and selling is expensive (very) and a pain in the neck. My biggest regret is not maxing the budget the first time to get into the house I wanted in the neighborhood I wanted. Which could have happened if I'd accepted a bit of risk and being house poor for a few years. Then I'd be sitting very pretty now instead of waiting for the great unknown - interest rates falling, so I can sell my dull house that I bought just to get something before the market went crazy. And even then I'd be stuck with a much higher mortgage if I do manage to get the house I always wanted.

That's my gripe. Otherwise house is fine. I never loved it, didn't buy it to love it, but it's comfortable enough and a good neighborhood, so I'm indifferent to it. Just waiting to sell it. But it is a different feeling than had I bought the other house because I wouldn't be waiting to sell it and I wouldn't be measuring every penny spent on the house against the resale potential.

at least you're on the equity train. we are still renting and watching prices continue to climb.

[Anonymous]

Its so much work to have a house

[Anonymous]

I think the emotion fades with time. Buying a house is emotional; living in a house is just life.

But it can be fun, especially initially, and I still like my house.

[Anonymous]

Most of us have to make major compromises. The house is kind of a life neutral for me, but I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse than I expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The layout of our house isn’t great for family time. Our main level living area is too small and the basement is finished but unappealing.

Which summarizes most finished basements. Unless you have a full walk out that feels like a proper above the ground floor, there's nothing you can do to a basement to make it anything other than a basement. It will be dark, it will always feel fully, it will never be a place to hang out in for hours, unless you are kids desperate to get away from the parents, and in that case it really doesn't matter how nice it is.

Our basement is finished but unappealing, but it’s still useful. Good for little kid play space/storage for foul weather and good project space, etc. But yeah I wouldn’t want to have to be down there regularly for any long length of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made a list of what we were looking for with both our hearts and our heads - the qualities we love and the conveniences we valued. Then we ran to those and bought solely with our heads, literally the first one we saw that ticked the boxes for our most important priorities.

So we bought with our heads and weren’t in love. Three years later I’m madly in love and more so every year. This house fits our needs so well that it’s a joy to live in.

Buying was a highly emotional time and if we had relied on our hearts we might not have done so well. Other people have had other experiences, of course, but this is what worked for us!

OP here - I love this! I'm definitely finding that my emotions/"gut feelings" are possibly clouding my judgment. There have been houses that I just had a "good feeling" about and that good feeling made me downplay certain issues. I've also seen houses where it seemed fine but for some reason I didn't like, even if I couldn't even describe what the issue was.

[Anonymous]

I would say we love our house more now, but we also did pretty big renovations/a small addition so that probably makes sense. I'm grateful we bought a tiny house in a great, walkable neighborhood we love. The neighborhood keeps us here more than the house probably. But definitely got lucky that we feel we can stay. A bigger house would be nice, but we like our small to medium sized house and will stay put.

[Anonymous]

We have been in our house for a year and I like it more than I thought I would. I like things I didn't know I'd like and I am not bothered by things I thought I'd be bothered by.

But I also didn't expect it to be SO expensive. I have also been surprised that we can afford it pretty easily, but it's still stressful to divert money into a house and not have as much liquid savings each month (we are paying our mortgage, investing, etc...).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buying and selling is expensive (very) and a pain in the neck. My biggest regret is not maxing the budget the first time to get into the house I wanted in the neighborhood I wanted. Which could have happened if I'd accepted a bit of risk and being house poor for a few years. Then I'd be sitting very pretty now instead of waiting for the great unknown - interest rates falling, so I can sell my dull house that I bought just to get something before the market went crazy. And even then I'd be stuck with a much higher mortgage if I do manage to get the house I always wanted.

That's my gripe. Otherwise house is fine. I never loved it, didn't buy it to love it, but it's comfortable enough and a good neighborhood, so I'm indifferent to it. Just waiting to sell it. But it is a different feeling than had I bought the other house because I wouldn't be waiting to sell it and I wouldn't be measuring every penny spent on the house against the resale potential.

This. Buy the best house you can now. The transaction costs are very high to sell and trade up.