Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Sarah
Charles
Benjamin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Third time's the charm?

DS1 Ian
DS2 Noel

(I have been answering some of these, too!)

Aah, Ian and Noel. You grew up smart in a smart family that lived in a community of over-achievers. Going Ivy was simply what everyone around you did. You got a scholarship to study abroad and spent three fabulous years at Oxford. You had to beg your parents to let you take one summer off to backpack around Europe. It was your mother and grandparents on your side, with your father threatening to cut you off. Finally your grandparents gave you $2,000 and told you to go do it, this would be the only opportunity in your life to do it. You met DH at a hostel halfway through and spent the next month with him. You first had sex in the upper bunk of a bunk bed and were so terrified of falling off the edge that you were shocked to be relaxed enough to have your first orgasm.

DH is from Ireland and had the stereotypically drunk father and depressed mother. He reminded you of Jack the way he bummed around happily, the character Leo played in the Titanic movie. When your father met him, he asked DH about his plans. To his credit, DH said his plans were to finish his education so he could get a well-paying job that afforded him the money to keep you happy for the rest of your life. Your mother commented on how she'd never seen your eyes lit up that way before. They threw you a beautiful wedding. You honeymooned in Africa, and to this day, every time you and DH have sex internationally you always orgasm, though it's hit or miss here in the States.

Ian is a tall boy who looks geeky, so his sportiness is a bit surprising. He liked lining up his cars just so and you were worried he had autism, but it turned out the nanny was keeping him home all day every day. You switched to a nanny share, to your mother's horror, and Ian blossomed right away into a friendly and social boy who easily made friends and got along with everyone.

You had no idea how many people didn't know the difference between Noel and Noelle until you named your second son. Even the nurse at the hospital! Your favorite picture of Noel is one with him sitting on DH's shoulders after DH graduated from his night-time law school program. Their smiles are just so big. Noel is a smidge of a mama's boy, but you feel so much closer to both children than you did to your own mother that you don't care. Noel's had a series of tiny medical issues. Tongue tie, undescended testicle, ear pinning, etc., but he's a happy boy who seems to have a great affinity for animals.

God, I WISH that was my life! Bolded what you got right, though! Loved reading this. You got close on a few other things, too -- we solved the "is he autistic" issue by pulling him from public and sending him to private, and he blossomed there. DH is about to graduate from a night-time advanced degree program, but it's in STEM, not law. Noel was premature and has an umbilical hernia and frequent bloody noses, but is otherwise happy and healthy. (And I've now totally outed myself to anyone who knows me, but hey, if you catch me, that means you're here, too.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread.

My kid is a Libby.

You met your DH in high school. He played on the basketball team (naturally, given your location in the midwest) and you were one of the best athletes in school as well. You went off to college together at a big state school and got married after finishing your junior years. While unpacking the boxes in your first home together you decided to start your family right away. Libby was born just a few months before you both were slated to graduate. You were so proud watching your DH cross the stage to get his diploma, and you jumped up and shouted as loud as you could, even with your little lady in your arms. After school, DH took a job flying a private jet and you, he, and Libby traveled around the world. You were thrilled to raise her in such a cosmopolitan way, but wanted her to have roots to home, so you dressed her in State U gear for every home basketball game and watched your beloved team at various times on 4 different continents. You finished your last few credits for your degree in hospitality services through distance learning while Libby was a preschooler, and now that she is ready to start kindergarten, your family has settled down in D.C. DH will continue to fly, but commercially, and you've accepted a position at a trade association. You're nervous about how Libby will adjust to a more settled life but weirdy excited about packing her school lunches with foods the other kids have never seen. You and DH are in the midst of a raging debate about whether she should be introduced to her new classmates as "Elizabeth."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous



My three boys are Grant, Rick and Andrew.


You and your DH come from solid Midwestern stock, the types of people who are tall, broad shouldered with ruddy complexions and dishwater blond hair. You married young, just out of college to your college sweetheart a nice plainspoken guy with kindly grey eyes.
After school you guys moved to the big city, which for you was St.Louis where your DH worked as a high school baseball coach and you were an ER nurse at a public hospital. You found innercity gun violence unnerving and soon felt overwhelmed by all the horrible accidents flooding the ER. So you decided to take a break from nursing to concentrate on getting pregnant and raising your kids. Grant was your first son, a mischievous tow haired kid with a gap toothed grin and quick wit. Then came Rick, the quiet thinker with his father's grey eyes. Finally, Andrew who was inexplicably small for his age and had red hair. The children came in such quick succession that you guys barely had time to pause and consider "the next step." Though there's no way you wanna be pregnant again, you sometimes pine for a daughter who you would have named Kate, after your grandmother. After a few years as a SAHM, you realize you miss that calling which drew you into nursing. But this time you want a slower paced gig. So, quite contrary to how you guys have made every other decision, on a whim you applied to a pediatric office in Wheaton and your hubby to a private Protestant school. The fates aligned and you loaded up in your 8 year old blue Ford Escape and made the journey east. Life seemed to fit into place. The kids made friends easily as did both of you guys. You weren't able to sell your two story colonial back in St.Louis in this market. So you're renting it out. In Wheaton you guys are renting a brick mid century Ranch with a leaky basement. You have a dog named Grover and pin recipes of desserts you never have time to make on Pinterest.

Wow! So much rings true. We're from the west, not Midwest, but definitely college sweethearts. Professions are wrong, but so much is right about the kids. Amazing. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Third time's the charm?

DS1 Ian
DS2 Noel

(I have been answering some of these, too!)

Aah, Ian and Noel. You grew up smart in a smart family that lived in a community of over-achievers. Going Ivy was simply what everyone around you did. You got a scholarship to study abroad and spent three fabulous years at Oxford. You had to beg your parents to let you take one summer off to backpack around Europe. It was your mother and grandparents on your side, with your father threatening to cut you off. Finally your grandparents gave you $2,000 and told you to go do it, this would be the only opportunity in your life to do it. You met DH at a hostel halfway through and spent the next month with him. You first had sex in the upper bunk of a bunk bed and were so terrified of falling off the edge that you were shocked to be relaxed enough to have your first orgasm.

DH is from Ireland and had the stereotypically drunk father and depressed mother. He reminded you of Jack the way he bummed around happily, the character Leo played in the Titanic movie. When your father met him, he asked DH about his plans. To his credit, DH said his plans were to finish his education so he could get a well-paying job that afforded him the money to keep you happy for the rest of your life. Your mother commented on how she'd never seen your eyes lit up that way before. They threw you a beautiful wedding. You honeymooned in Africa, and to this day, every time you and DH have sex internationally you always orgasm, though it's hit or miss here in the States.

Ian is a tall boy who looks geeky, so his sportiness is a bit surprising. He liked lining up his cars just so and you were worried he had autism, but it turned out the nanny was keeping him home all day every day. You switched to a nanny share, to your mother's horror, and Ian blossomed right away into a friendly and social boy who easily made friends and got along with everyone.

You had no idea how many people didn't know the difference between Noel and Noelle until you named your second son. Even the nurse at the hospital! Your favorite picture of Noel is one with him sitting on DH's shoulders after DH graduated from his night-time law school program. Their smiles are just so big. Noel is a smidge of a mama's boy, but you feel so much closer to both children than you did to your own mother that you don't care. Noel's had a series of tiny medical issues. Tongue tie, undescended testicle, ear pinning, etc., but he's a happy boy who seems to have a great affinity for animals.

God, I WISH that was my life! Bolded what you got right, though! Loved reading this. You got close on a few other things, too -- we solved the "is he autistic" issue by pulling him from public and sending him to private, and he blossomed there. DH is about to graduate from a night-time advanced degree program, but it's in STEM, not law. Noel was premature and has an umbilical hernia and frequent bloody noses, but is otherwise happy and healthy. (And I've now totally outed myself to anyone who knows me, but hey, if you catch me, that means you're here, too.)

Oh, I'm so glad you liked learning about your background! It was fun to write, and I'm also glad Ian isn't autistic and Noel's balls are right where they should be. Hopefully you orgasm quite a bit stateside.

[Anonymous]

Lauren
Caroline
David

[Anonymous]

Larla

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sarah
Charles
Benjamin

Sarah thinks she's a little mommy, to the point she's tried to stay home to care for Benjamin when he came down with rotovirus, and cried when you made her go to school. She cried there too, and the teacher called you at home that night, sure he was in the hospital on the verge of death based on how worried Sarah was. She is a natural caretaker, and now in 2nd grade was voted class president three times because of how much confidence other people have in her.

Charles is always Charles, never Charlie. Except for your FIL, who always calls him Charlie, which makes you so angry. DH thinks it's ridiculous, but lets you go around introducing him as Charles as you wish. He has middle child syndrome, but simply goes to Sarah for all his needs. Benjamin is the fattest, happiest baby you have ever seen. He was only 8 lbs, 2oz at birth, but porked right up and you worry people think you're feeding him crap food, even though you're All Organic, All the Time (except when DH is in charge).

You are a CPA, and only manager because your boss hates working mothers. He doesn't mind women, but isn't a fan of mothers working. Despite the fact that you only took off six weeks with each child before shipping them off to daycare, he brings up all your "time off" all the time. DH is so much more easy going than you and encourages you to let it roll off your shoulders, or take that in-house job you were offered as CFO. But it's 25 minutes farther away and you just can't bring yourself to take the plunge.

DH is a public defender, and you worry he will cheat on you with someone less high strung. You also wish he would go to a law firm to earn more, but know that he gets great benefits this way, plus unless he's in trial never works late. He has a work-wife and you've forbidden him from using that term around you, but Sarah's picked it up and you once accidentally spanked her for using it. DH suggested you take anti-anxiety medication, or at least look into it and you didn't talk to him for two days.

You have five different colored turtlenecks which you wear in the winter with your pantsuits, and your favorite one is the maroon, followed by the forest green, then the mustard (other colors are navy blue and white). You are a Republican, but secretly consider Hillary Clinton to be great, and think the way she dresses is quite smart. When your mother comments that you haven't lost the baby weight you snap back that there are more important things than how you look - like working and raising a family.

Sex is scheduled on your blackberry for once a week, but you skip it when you've got your period because that's disgusting. DH suggested he wouldn't mind, but you mind. You and DH got in a fight on vacation once because he wanted to have sex with you off schedule and your gut reaction was "That's not for two more days," and DH's expression was what made you start worrying he might either divorce or cheat on you. So now when you're on vacation, you have a reminder in your Blackberry to be open to sex any of the nights, not just on sex night.

[Anonymous]

Oh I thought I was too late to this thread and it was finished! Please do our family!!

DS: Francis
DD1: Hazel
DD2: Eveline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I thought I was too late to this thread and it was finished! Please do our family!!

DS: Francis
DD1: Hazel
DD2: Eveline

You grew up in Oregon and Seattle. You went to the East Coast for college. Majored in childhood education, with an emphasis on Montessori. One of the requirements before your first Montessori teaching job was to take a CPR/First aid course. You fell in love with the instructor, and soon began doing "CPR" in the bedroom (not on a dummy in the classroom You were relieved to discover that the instructor was also a doctor, and raking in the dough!!! You got married, and taught in a Montessori school (taking maternity leave for each child, and returning to the classroom. SAH is not for you.) Lately, you have been seriously considering taking the kids abroad for a year to see the world! Husband is in favor of this, as well. You are both adventurous travelers, and need a change of pace, so the time seems to be right for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I thought I was too late to this thread and it was finished! Please do our family!!

DS: Francis
DD1: Hazel
DD2: Eveline

All family names of course! You liked Francis because it seems edgy to give a boy a name that isn't masculine. You like Hazel, but wish all the hipsters weren't coping you. Eveline still seems like an excellent choice.

You and DH met when you lived in the same coop at Ann Arbor during senior year. At first you thought that he smoked too much weed, and maybe was just using his knowledge of feminist theory to meet girls, but he always did his chores and never tried to dominate house meeting-so you grew to respect him, and he's cute. He was dreaming of living off the land on a family property in MI, but you wanted to pursue your career and took a job with an international non-profit in DC. You both though marriage was anti-feminist, but he needed to get on your insurance, so you had a civil ceremony. His family was appalled, but you were only the tiniest bit concerned about his inheritance-they would never actually cut him out. He stayed home with kids when they are young, but now he's back to teaching middle school science. It's kind of embarrassing in DC to tell people that, which just makes you ashamed for being embarrassed, but he really is an excellent teacher-and there's his trust, so it's not a money issue.

Francis is a sensitive redhead, and no amount of rewarding him for being a big boy or a big brother ever really motivated him. You imagine him studying classics at University of Chicago, and marrying a (hopefully female) librarian. Although she's the middle child, Hazel seems like the oldest. She's tough and bossy and bugs you to do every activity around. Evie is princess, princess, princess, and you and DH argue about how much you should humor you. Neither of you have staked out a firm position, so you just go around about it and get a chance to rehash your old feminist theory arguments from you college days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lauren
Caroline
David

You never intended to have 3 kids - definitely though you would stick with 1 or 2 and continue your career. But you fell completely in love with Lauren as a baby and discovered this whole side of you that you never realized might exist. You had Caroline pretty quickly, to keep the momentum going. Your DD was also enthralled with the girls...until Caroline turned 2. Then it took a year of nagging and whining and withholding sex to convince him that you really, really should have a third.

You quit working when David was born and now you sell 31 bags to bring in a little income and to keep from going crazy. DH claims that he's fine with taking the kids on the weekends while you go do parties but secretly he is totally annoyed and sick to death of being "supportive." He longs for more time to go running and play golf.

You resent your sister, who only had 2 children and has maintained her career and who, you think, looks down on you for "abandoning" her in the world of working moms. You think she's crazy to be letting her kids go to daycare - you had a nanny share for Lauren & Caroline and you would never, ever send your kids to a big daycare center. But, you insist that you are close with your sister and you coordinate a lot of get-togethers with her. Her DH is a lawyer, though, and your DH finds it a bit tireseome to hang out with him all the time.

You protest all the time that you couldn't possibly get away from the kids for a weekend but you actually just cannot figure out for the life of you what you and DH would do together for an entire weekend away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lauren
Caroline
David

You never intended to have 3 kids - definitely though you would stick with 1 or 2 and continue your career. But you fell completely in love with Lauren as a baby and discovered this whole side of you that you never realized might exist. You had Caroline pretty quickly, to keep the momentum going. Your DD was also enthralled with the girls...until Caroline turned 2. Then it took a year of nagging and whining and withholding sex to convince him that you really, really should have a third.

You quit working when David was born and now you sell 31 bags to bring in a little income and to keep from going crazy. DH claims that he's fine with taking the kids on the weekends while you go do parties but secretly he is totally annoyed and sick to death of being "supportive." He longs for more time to go running and play golf.

You resent your sister, who only had 2 children and has maintained her career and who, you think, looks down on you for "abandoning" her in the world of working moms. You think she's crazy to be letting her kids go to daycare - you had a nanny share for Lauren & Caroline and you would never, ever send your kids to a big daycare center. But, you insist that you are close with your sister and you coordinate a lot of get-togethers with her. Her DH is a lawyer, though, and your DH finds it a bit tireseome to hang out with him all the time.

You protest all the time that you couldn't possibly get away from the kids for a weekend but you actually just cannot figure out for the life of you what you and DH would do together for an entire weekend away.

sorry that was DH in the first paragraph, not DD

[Anonymous]

Veronica
Sally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread.

My kid is a Libby.



You met your DH in high school. He played on the basketball team (naturally, given your location in the midwest) and you were one of the best athletes in school as well. You went off to college together at a big state school and got married after finishing your junior years. While unpacking the boxes in your first home together you decided to start your family right away. Libby was born just a few months before you both were slated to graduate. You were so proud watching your DH cross the stage to get his diploma, and you jumped up and shouted as loud as you could, even with your little lady in your arms. After school, DH took a job flying a private jet and you, he, and Libby traveled around the world. You were thrilled to raise her in such a cosmopolitan way, but wanted her to have roots to home, so you dressed her in State U gear for every home basketball game and watched your beloved team at various times on 4 different continents. You finished your last few credits for your degree in hospitality services through distance learning while Libby was a preschooler, and now that she is ready to start kindergarten, your family has settled down in D.C. DH will continue to fly, but commercially, and you've accepted a position at a trade association. You're nervous about how Libby will adjust to a more settled life but weirdy excited about packing her school lunches with foods the other kids have never seen. You and DH are in the midst of a raging debate about whether she should be introduced to her new classmates as "Elizabeth."

This is great. Many details are off, but a few are dead on. I enjoyed reading it immensely either way. Thank you!

You're very right about my weird obsession with packing her exotic bentos, watching the beloved teams from other continents, and in our present raging debate. Only thing is she is an Elspbeth (family name), not an Elizabeth. I'm in the Libby camp. DH is just talking crazy.